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[Simmura McCrea]

Yes, having homophobic friends sucks. I've been there, it was most of the last 2 years of high school for me, and I'm glad I'm out, to be honest. But hell, it'll end, either because you leave school or you find new friends that aren't homophobic. Of course, if you're not out, it's a little easier since the homophobia isn't directed straight at you.

[Fenrir]

This is going to sound cruel, but why would you tell them? You are hardly defined by your sexuality, and it is a rather private matter anyway, and you know it will only make them uncomfortable or downright cruel. If you need support, tell someone that you know will accept it, but I see little reason anyone needs to be informed of your present sexual tastes.

Not that I think you are to blame for their abusiveness. I just see no need to give them the opportunity.

[Tyg13]

This is going to sound cruel, but why would you tell them? You are hardly defined by your sexuality, and it is a rather private matter anyway, and you know it will only make them uncomfortable or downright cruel. If you need support, tell someone that you know will accept it, but I see little reason anyone needs to be informed of your present sexual tastes.

It's just... I don't know. I'm only just becoming a sophomore this year, which means that I have 3 more years of living a lie. Not to mention actually coming out to my family which is just something I want to avoid entirely, but I can't. Being in the closet means that I have to pretend to be straight and pretend to be attracted to girls, but I'm not. They'll expect it out of me, and putting on that façade forever is just going to be agonizing. But I don't want to lose my friends.

[Fenrir]

I see. I am not familiar with — well, socializing, so it is entirely likely that I would better understand if I understood the circumstances. I sometimes forget how boorish the common young man is, so it is entirely likely that I would often be asked if I were homosexual, simply because I refuse to discuss sexuality in a particularly crude and frequent fashion. It has already happened once.

+1 for spelling “façade” correctly with the tail on the ‘c’ and everything.

[Tyg13]

Yay for having an international keyboard even though I'm an American who barely even speaks French!

[Euld]

If it's a choice between living a lie and getting ostracized... I'd lean more for the "living a lie."  Getting bullied and harassed is an awful thing to endure, probably worse than living a lie.  And since it's homophobia, there's a chance the school authorities won't do a thing.  Neither option is good of course.  As for your family... I wish now that I'd come out during high school instead of waiting until now (I'm 24, still not out to my family).  My family is going through really awful crap now, way worse than when I was in high school, and I don't want to add to the strain.  High school's issues are nothing compared to what we deal with now.  I should have come out back then, at least to my family.

[Askot Bokbondeler]

Yay for having an international keyboard even though I'm an American who barely even speaks French!

pfffffff, that's so gay

If it's a choice between living a lie and getting ostracized... I'd lean more for the "living a lie."  Getting bullied and harassed is an awful thing to endure, probably worse than living a lie.  And since it's homophobia, there's a chance the school authorities won't do a thing.  Neither option is good of course.  As for your family... I wish now that I'd come out during high school instead of waiting until now (I'm 24, still not out to my family).  My family is going through really awful crap now, way worse than when I was in high school, and I don't want to add to the strain.  High school's issues are nothing compared to what we deal with now.  I should have come out back then, at least to my family.

there's an awful lot of emotional strain to be living in a lie, though, and it might be healthier to be ostracized and sometimes bullied than to surround yourself with people with expectations you cannot live up to. i'd say the healthier way to cope with that is  to seek out a group you can be open with, and generally being discreet outside of said group. there's got to be some sort of gay community in your city, who may or may not adhere to some sort of gay culture that may or may not irk you, but i'm certain you'd find a few people you would enjoy being friends with.
this advice comes from a non-homosexual, but i'm european and a student of fine arts, that gotta count for something

[Tyg13]

pfffffff, that's so gay

Well, one thing that's made me happy today. I'm finally immune to those silly taunts. SO WHAT IF YOU CALL ME GAY. I ALREADY KNOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

If they can't accept that you're gay, they don't deserve friendship, and they especially don't deserve it from you.

But I think they might accept it if you tell them. A lot of homophobia comes from not seeing homosexuality as being really "real" or relevant to their lives. If you come out to them their negative perceptions of gay people will clash with their positive perceptions of you. If they're worth being friends with, you will be more important to them then their stereotypes.

[iceball3]

To be honest, sexuality is better as a private piece of information, you don't really have to tell anyone it, really.
Pleading asexual until proven otherwise is a nice way to take, in my opinion. No lying to the people who it's none of their business in the first place anyway, right?

If they can't accept that you're gay, they don't deserve friendship, and they especially don't deserve it from you.

But I think they might accept it if you tell them. A lot of homophobia comes from not seeing homosexuality as being really "real" or relevant to their lives. If you come out to them their negative perceptions of gay people will clash with their positive perceptions of you. If they're worth being friends with, you will be more important to them then their stereotypes.

This is another good take on it too.

[Fenrir]

Pleading asexual until proven otherwise is a nice way to take, in my opinion. No lying to the people who it's none of their business in the first place anyway, right?

If you are asked, simply refuse to reply. “I can ill imagine what relevance that has to the present circumstance. One’s sexual tastes are hardly a matter of public concern.” Then walk away while their monosyllabic minds stuggle to interpret your polysyllabic words.

[Vector]

Yay for having an international keyboard even though I'm an American who barely even speaks French!

pfffffff, that's so gay

Don't do this.  I realize that you have a different societal context for these words, but over here it comes off extremely badly.

Pleading asexual until proven otherwise is a nice way to take, in my opinion. No lying to the people who it's none of their business in the first place anyway, right?

If you are asked, simply refuse to reply. “I can ill imagine what relevance that has to the present circumstance. One’s sexual tastes are hardly a matter of public concern.” Then walk away while their monosyllabic minds stuggle to interpret your polysyllabic words.

This doesn't work.  Trust me.  Nothing but "I am presently fucking a guy--that one" works with good accuracy.

That said, I have never said "I am presently fucking that gentlemen," but I assume it works better than saying "no, I'm not a lesbian" when people ask.

Oh, and sesquipedalianism is just another thing to get beaten up over, so don't rely too much on that, either.

[Tyg13]

If you are asked, simply refuse to reply. “I can ill imagine what relevance that has to the present circumstance. One’s sexual tastes are hardly a matter of public concern.” Then walk away while their monosyllabic minds stuggle to interpret your polysyllabic words.

"My good fellow, I must inquire as to who ordained you minister of my sexual preferences. Presently, I find it most impertinent the state of my sexual affections and though I could pause to soliloquize about them, I have neither the time nor the inclination to perform such a deed. Good day to you."

[Askot Bokbondeler]

Yay for having an international keyboard even though I'm an American who barely even speaks French!

pfffffff, that's so gay

Don't do this.  I realize that you have a different societal context for these words, but over here it comes off extremely badly.

i don't have a different societal context for these words, i have the same stance you have, and wouldn't use them in any other situation; i don't use "gay" as a generic derogatory adjective, i just used it here as a joke: the guy openly admitting that he is a homosexual, and i call him gay for having an international keyboard(ççççç by the way). i thought the context in which they were used would make it evident, but sorry if it offended anybody.

[Lysabild]

Yay for having an international keyboard even though I'm an American who barely even speaks French!

pfffffff, that's so gay

Don't do this.  I realize that you have a different societal context for these words, but over here it comes off extremely badly.

i don't have a different societal context for these words, i have the same stance you have, and wouldn't use them in any other situation; i don't use "gay" as a generic derogatory adjective, i just used it here as a joke: the guy openly admitting that he is a homosexual, and i call him gay for having an international keyboard(ççççç by the way). i thought the context in which they were used would make it evident, but sorry if it offended anybody.

If it makes you feel any better I got it, and I am a fag too ^^