Just decide that you're right and keep at it.
Oh, I know I'm right.
I just don't understand why people think "Vector's terrible fashion sense" is an appropriate topic of conversation. As in I actually
just don't get it. Bloody confusing people.
My suggestion: Go into the meeting with a math book. When they start on about CUTE FRILLY CLOTHES and MATERIALISM and whatnot, bury your nose in the book. If they call attention to you, respond with something like, "I don't have time for all that crap, I'm busy," and go back to your book.
Can't do that; it'd be rude, and she wouldn't understand the point (trust me, I've tried. The response was more of the flavor "aww, poor autistic girl!" than "maybe I should stuff it"). I know she's just trying to interact with me; on her planet, where that sort of thing is common enough, she's just sharing her interests and trying to be enthusiastic and positive about her life. On my planet, she's rubbing a lifestyle I don't have in her face and lauding herself snootily.
Similarly, the tenor of her explanations of things like "Who St. Augustine was, anyway:" on her planet, explaining with a touch of pride to the previous "smartest person she'd ever met" the fruits of her private schooling. On my planet, rude and bloody well unnecessary, because information should be passed with primary emotion focused on
the joy of having something beautiful to share, not
the joy of schooling someone else.
And, when she says things like "Oh, poor thing!" when I'm telling a story with some vaguely negative components, she's expressing sympathy, but on my world a. that's a rude way to do it and b. usually I'm giving signals of "this is a funny story and I'm laughing at myself, so laugh with me instead of making me look like I'm a whiny complainster."
It pretty much goes on that way.
Just to chime in, I think there's a slight maturity disparity between you and her; you might be feeling the weight of reason and personal responsibility, as compared to her general lack thereof. I don't mean this to be judgmental; I just think Thyme adopted her pointedly outlandish and quirky persona as a low-maintenance way of interacting with others, which doesn't require a great deal of rational, and lets her avoid personal responsibility, and ownership of her behaviors. It's much easier, and I imagine striving for Difference probably makes her feel special and wanted.
Hmm... thank you. I probably agree with that, though I still don't know how it happened. She's been driving me nuts for years over this sort of thing, and I don't think 10 months' difference would have the same sort of impact over a 10 year span of knowing each other.
On the other hand... who knows?
If you read the above list you'll be back on track to trumpet so-called "genius" to your friend. I'm sure there's more to add.
Thanks for the list! There were some entries on there that I hadn't heard of, or really thought to try.
The difficulty here isn't that I lack a list of extremely "elitist" books and personal achievements to trumpet back at her. I've read a lot of those, and know the basic ideas of most of the rest (or have read equivalent works). I have a variety of friends (though I have to say that I'll always be a loner, because that's as fundamental to me as my habit of building a "clan"). I speak five languages, all from disparate families--and snippets of five more. I've been asked to write an honors thesis, begged to join various departments, have the (almost impossible to gain) affection and respect of the math department. My competence and effortless weirdness are famed to the point where folks spread rumors about me. I've been asked to teach courses as an undergraduate at Berkeley--on fashion design as a semiotic system, of all things.
Her boyfriend is an autistic college dropout who (in my opinion) treats her badly, including basically telling her how and when to talk; the main guy wooing me is a prominent and well-adjusted physicist from Mali, who just won an award from the French government for his work.
But I don't bring these things up much, or at all, because my goal is not to make her feel bad or inferior. The fact that I have bigger cannons on my boat doesn't mean that I have any desire to engage. These are all... things. They're important to me, and my life, and my career, but there's no good reason for me to beat other people about the face with them. I don't believe in that sort of opportunistic hierarchy. I'd like it if we could just be comfortable with ourselves.