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[MaximumZero]

Spoiler: Next stop--Salvation! (click to show/hide)

What. The. Hell!?

[RedKing]

Man, when you live in the Bible Belt....shit like this just doesn't even faze me anymore. 

[MaximumZero]

I think I'll stay up here for now.

[scriver]

So fucked up. All these poor people. I wonder how they're gonna feel on 22th. I hope there won't be too many suicides over it.

[Darvi]

I know how I will feel that day -_-

[ChairmanPoo]

Interesting... what's their reasoning behind the Rapture occurring on May 21st?

In may 21 this year I have my graduation ceremony. Maybe they regard it a miracle that I actually managed to get there.

[RedKing]

I think I'll stay up here for now.

Naw, come on down amd get you some Jesus! We got every got kind of Jesus you could want! Big Jesus, Baby Jesus, White Jesus, Black Jesus, Kinda-Swarthy-Might-Be-An-Arab-Jesus, Kickass Jesus, Shepherd Jesus, Zombie Jesus.....we even having Patriotic Jesus healing the Liberty Bell.

Spoiler: You think I'm joking. You have *so* much to learn. (click to show/hide)

And thanks to the influx of Hispanic migrants, we have all the Virgin Mary you could ask for too.

 

[JoshuaFH]

6'3"

I've smaked my head on more door frames than you've had hot dinners!

The word "smaked" sounds like some combination of "smack" or "smash" and "Bake".

The mental image is pleasing.

[ein]

*The many Jesii*

Don't forget Aryan Jesus, Jihad Jesus, and Drunk & Bitter Jesus.

[Nadaka]

Commando Jesus with kung fu grip and weapon accessory pack.

[Willfor]

So fucked up. All these poor people. I wonder how they're gonna feel on 22th. I hope there won't be too many suicides over it.

There won't be, jeez. This isn't the first time it's happened, everyone just moves on a little more cynical and life carries on. There have been hundreds, there will be hundreds more.

[lemon10]

You *can* offer to watch their pets, though.

Yeah, because I'm sure that after the rapture people are going to care about the pet they said they watch more then the collapse of society and the disasters occurring.

[RedKing]

You *can* offer to watch their pets, though.

Yeah, because I'm sure that after the rapture people are going to care about the pet they said they watch more then the collapse of society and the disasters occurring.

Personally, I'm not seeing why society will collapse. Everything is made in China and supported in India. Neither are going to be all that heavily impacted. And frankly, most people who *think* they're going to be Raptured are guilty of pride, ergo they ain't going nowhere.


My problem with the whole concept of the post-Rapture petsitting thing is twofold:
1. "Hi, you're a heathen who's going to burn in Hell while I'm rejoicing in Heaven. But you seem like a trustworthy nice fellow who likes animals. Would you mind watching my Foofums when I'm gone?"
2. I have issues with an omnipotent, loving God who apparently has a big sign outside the Pearly Gates saying "NO DOGS ALLOWED". What, are they gonna poop on the clouds? Drool all over the angelic choir? What's the rationale here?

[Bauglir]

2. I have issues with an omnipotent, loving God who apparently has a big sign outside the Pearly Gates saying "NO DOGS ALLOWED". What, are they gonna poop on the clouds? Drool all over the angelic choir? What's the rationale here?

Dogs don't have souls, because if they did, they'd all have to go to hell for violating that commandment about adultery (what with all the leg-humping).

[RedKing]

Again, the problem is you have an omnipotent God. He can't give them souls? He can't make a Heaven where the soulless can exist? He can't create illusory simulacrums of one's beloved pets that, while perhaps not truly the same thing, would at least fulfill one's paradisical needs? How about "Doggie Heaven", which is like an adjunct realm for dogs that the Blessed can visit?

It's the basic inability of theology to answer simple, practical questions like this that drove me from the Church in the first place.
To put it another way, the concept of Heaven doesn't stand up well against the sort of intellects that would try to farm mermaids for their valuable bones and colonize Hell itself.