Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Ochita]

I have a multitude of problems.. I am so weak.

[Mindmaker]

I miss having friends who aren't too busy crowing over relationships to spend time confiding in me.  It feels like it's so long since I've had a close friend, or thought I had a close friend, that I don't remember how to make them anymore--but unlike when I was younger, it's definitely something I want to do.  I don't want to go through life without that.

I suppose you can feel a little less lonely, when I say I've had this exact same experience myself.  It's been gnawing at me more and more for a year or so now, but it's really starting to come how now that I don't even have classes to go to anymore.  Maybe my problem has nothing to do with yours, but at least it's given me an opportunity to say something.

Spoiler: I'll just spoiler this bullshit. (click to show/hide)

I spent years of my life simultaneously unable to leave my house much, and genuinely afraid of what would happen if I left my little room.  I had friends, nerdy friends like myself, but I was fine with that because we all had the same interests, and got to be really good friends.  But I didn't get to see them outside of school much.  Partly because of that fear of leaving my room thing, which I consider at least somewhat legitimate, because leaving my room meant dealing with my drugged-out father and his insane "friends".  Which may have proven to be unfounded it retrospect, but the more I look back on it, the more obvious it is to me of just how anxious and defensive I was all the time.  This compounded with taking several beatings in-school, and my general problem of being apparently famous without ever knowing why.

It took its toll.  By the end of highschool, I'd calmed down a bit and was able to hang out with my established friends more, but it actually made me nervous and a little angry when unfamiliar people would start talking to me, especially if they asked me who I was, because I always assumed the worst.  College was of course completely calmer, aside from my shitty one-semester of living in a dorm.  But as naturally happens, my circle of friends from highschool kept dwindling away.  I got a little less defensive and paranoid over time, but situational problems (moving back in with family namely) and doing bad in class (since the "family" I moved in with was dysfunctional as all get out) kept shooting down my confidence.

I realized quickly that I could finally get out on my own, and tried to make new friends in college, but while I'm apparently a great conversationalist, I could never make a relationship that amounted to much outside of the venue is was formed in.  Oh, I had class friends and work friends, sure, but I would never really know them any longer than we had a schedule together.  And then right as everything started coming together for me, I got me and my last two highschool friends thrown in jail, and spent more than a year just working my ass off in school and my job to keep all my shit together.  We've barely done much since then, and the last guy hasn't called in months.  I finally joined some clubs and made outside friends in my last semester of college (and found out said clubs didn't exist earlier, so that's a wash), but I haven't seen or heard from them since December either, despite my attempts to get back in touch.

Now I sit here with the daunting realization, that I don't know how to meet people anymore.  And even when I do meet people, I don't know how to turn an acquaintanceship into a meaningful friendship.  Sure, online-dating services have their fun, but that shit never went anywhere.  When you don't actually have any real friends that you can invite somewhere or who invite you, where do you go to meet more people?  And what do I say to them to make that into a more common thing, that doesn't sound horribly creepy and make me trip over my self-consciousness all the time?

If I was any good in english and expressing my thoughts, this could be from me.

[warhammer651]

I had my first instance of "This coding's a mess! I can't find any of what I need, there's no comments, no particular method to the madness." when opening up what I had already done for my programming midterm

[ChairmanPoo]

I suspect I'm being had. Luckily I suspected it before this resulted in anything more than a somewhat bruised ego, but still

[Vector]

Yeah, it seems a lot of us are in the same boat.  That makes me a sort of... happy-sad, I guess, because it's nice not to be alone.  On the other hand, that means that you guys are unhappy, too =/


In other news, I (in a fit of idiocy) made my garlic tea this morning with three large cloves of raw garlic and drank it all down on an empty stomach.

What a terrible idea.

I love garlic, but I'm never doing this again.  Ever.  Breakfast, then garlic tea.  The order of operations is critical, especially because breakfast is also rife with oniony deliciousness.

Also, I need to start eating something throughout the day other than fried rice and bananas.  My diet is starting to get to me.

[Tellemurius]

oh god what were you thinking? i made pinion tea before but garlic?

[Mindmaker]

Yeah I guess.
It's good to know that you're not being a single person suffering this fate.
There are other people who feel the same. Probably enough to form a small country.

[Vector]

oh god what were you thinking? i made pinion tea before but garlic?

Keeps me healthy despite living on fried rice >_>

I'm trying to get some sort of alternative to caffeinated tea, especially because I'm about to run out.  I adore garlic tea, but next time I need to make it with one clove and make sure I don't consume it on an empty stomach.

A professor mentioned it about a year ago, so I started making it this summer when I was sick and my parents were in Italy.  Clears up sicknesses really quickly and it's quite good for you.

[Rose]

I finally managed to motivate myself to get off my ass at go through my Russian lessons again, and realize it's been so long since I last did them I have to start from the beginning because I've forgotten everything.

[Leafsnail]

I dunno, wouldn't effectively drinking a whole clove of garlic make sure that noone wants to come anywhere near you for the rest of the day?

[SalmonGod]

You lonely people are doing well, though, I assure you.  Keep up the patience and wisdom.

I know plenty of people who easily get lonely and attach themselves to whoever is convenient mostly because they just cannot stand to be alone.  Those people frequently put themselves in miserable situations far worse than loneliness.

Keep going about your lives doing whatever it is you think is interesting or worth doing.  Somewhere along the way, you'll meet someone like-minded who will make you truly happy.  It rarely happens any other way.  In the meantime, take pride in your sensible choices and enjoy the freedom they afford you.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Nyah!! No hot water, I think I'm going to freeze to death ;_;

[Tellemurius]

MoM, i have been standing in below zero temps for hours.....

[Vector]

You lonely people are doing well, though, I assure you.  Keep up the patience and wisdom.

I know plenty of people who easily get lonely and attach themselves to whoever is convenient mostly because they just cannot stand to be alone.  Those people frequently put themselves in miserable situations far worse than loneliness.

Keep going about your lives doing whatever it is you think is interesting or worth doing.  Somewhere along the way, you'll meet someone like-minded who will make you truly happy.  It rarely happens any other way.  In the meantime, take pride in your sensible choices and enjoy the freedom they afford you.

Thank you for this.

I dunno, wouldn't effectively drinking a whole clove of garlic make sure that noone wants to come anywhere near you for the rest of the day?

I think you may be confusing bulbs and cloves.

In any case, I've had no garlic or onion-related issues thus far, other than stomachaches.  Pretty bad ones.

And then I went and bought a vegetarian hotdog, which I proceeded to slather with the Russian mustard provided.  Added to my three cloves of garlic and 1/2 onion is an enormous amount of horseradish...

*sigh*

I shouldn't have bought it, but I was hungry and I decided to get one (I'd been planning to do so for a month and a half or so).  Phooey.

[Leafsnail]

I think you may be confusing bulbs and cloves.

In any case, I've had no garlic or onion-related issues thus far, other than stomachaches.  Pretty bad ones.

Oh, yeah, oops.  Still, the breath you can get off even a clove of garlic is pretty strong :p.