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[Urist Imiknorris]

You mean tu madre?

[iceball3]

You mean tu madre?

Yeah, right, that. I don't know any real Spanish anyway.

[Tack]

I'd write a gigantic phrase in response to yours, Vec.

But I just woke up. So let's more go with 'yeah'. I do that- or at least most of it.

I like to learn everything, accents, mannerisms. I have nearly every hobby in the world, because, my hobby is to defy stereotype. There's the kind of people who aren't happy until they can put you in a folder with the others of your kind and treat you the way they would treat someone of that type. I love those people. I try to be interesting to absolutely everyone. I can say 'So, what are you in to?', and then be able to carry a worthwhile conversation with them no matter their interest. I like all types of music, the only exceptions being opera. But hey, I'd still go to one. Very glamorous.
I don't know what made me suddenly feel the drive to be able to empathize with everyone, but my having hobbies, hobbies, hobbies, means that girls find I have a certain mystique. They all try and find out what made me like this, but, hey, if I can't figure it out, they couldn't. Once again, reading into what things in life affects a person's behavior. Very interesting.

That's the brief dip into my tl'dr for today.

[SalmonGod]

Vector, I can relate to and understand a lot of what you just said.  I've dealt with similar issues of dependency traps, suicidal loved ones, loneliness, etc... and still do to an extent.  You sound like you take the reactions to more of an extreme than I ever have.  You also sound a good deal more focused and intelligent.  I'm both more and less of a recluse now than I was in the past when those problems were worse.  It's complicated.  My attitude is actually less reclusive, but my reality is more so.  I wish I could just out with the whole story, but that would be irresponsible and mean of me.  So I'll just leave it at that.

But hey.  I've yet to meet anyone whose life isn't fucked up somehow.  Some people's lives are just fucked up in more interesting/unusual ways, or have unusual reactions to common problems.  I've never met anyone who I believe would do some of the things that I've done, and I've yet to even determine if that's a compliment to myself.

[Leafsnail]

I socialize because... I like to be with my friends.  I feel a lot of them are genuinely nice and entertaining to be with.  I don't feel any kind of further obligation towards it (that would probably change if I had no friends, though).

[Dakk]

Yea, I don't get all pseudo intellectual about it either. It all boils down to "I seek friends because they can give me some sort of entertainment and can serve as an emotional crutch if I require one". IE, I have friends because I like to. Of course the general interest of getting some friends when you enter an environment you're not used it can backfire spectaculary. One of my first friends in college was this weird, little girl that sat close to me. She was ok on the first days, but after that she started blabbering about all the problems with her life, her family, etc. Then I found out she does this with everyone, and after a while it go quite annoying so I avoided her since.

She failed the first year, makes me kinda sad to think about it, but then I think "hey, at least I got rid of her".

vOv

[ChairmanPoo]

I just dreamed that a zombie female sniper from WW2 ripped off someone's face and chewed it.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Gah. Can't shake this damnable depression...

[Tack]

How does that make you sad? That's freaking awesome!



EDIT: AAAAH NINJAD!!!

[Ochita]

How does that make you sad? That's freaking awesome!



EDIT: AAAAH NINJAD!!!

YOU BLUH BLUH-ER

[ToonyMan]

Spoiler: Dakk I have a relevant picture to your avatar (click to show/hide)

[Vector]

Yea, I don't get all pseudo intellectual about it either.

... ?

I don't feel any kind of further obligation towards it (that would probably change if I had no friends, though).

I do, whether I feel friendless or not.  I was raised in an environment where duty was the word of the day.  Duty to the human race, duty to your family, duty to your friends, social obligations, obligations based on birthright, blah blah blah.  "Do what you can with what you have been given, for that is part of the social contract.  If you expect good things from others, you must do good yourself."

Of course, I got burned when I discovered for the first time that others don't hold this opinion, but that wound has been healing nicely.


Thanks for your responses, folks.  It's interesting to hear what you have to say.

[Tack]

Of course, I got burned when I discovered for the first time that others don't hold this opinion, but that wound has been healing nicely.

I do. More people should. I'm glad that one other person did.

[ToonyMan]

I kinda broke myself starting around the middle of 2009, before then I didn't act how I am today at all.  I went from,

Everybody I see are U's all I see are U's.  I talk to the U's, they talk back, I eat %'s, all I see are %.  I wear ['s I wear ['sS>ss.sa;;asala  I eat, see, smell, feel, hear, and are embraced by DF. DF DF DF FD Dwarf fortress dwarf fortressss.  I am insane. I am insane.  All I see are letters!  All I see are letters!  They keep moving and blinking with green slashess!!!!  Green slashes march down the asile and spin they spin.  Hahahakka.  There is no game except for DF get away from me must typoeepe

I've never really been a people person, I'm friendly when pushed, but agh.  I'm severly depressed some days.  I wouldn't hurt anybody, but I have a real problem with feeling useless.  I have to do my best, no matter what.  Failure is not an option.  Seems like most people on Bay12 are perfectionist.  Same here.  I do my best in school and I get nothin'.  I'm top of my sophomore class and teachers praise me and yaddha yaddha, your going to be the best, I wish everybody in my class was you ToonyMan.  Lately though it's been weird.  Getting an A on the test is nothing special, I do this every time.  I work hard to get farther in life.  Now the problem is that some other kids don't see it that way.  They think (I presume) that they don't have to do anything!  This a community is not.  I do my best.  They do nothing.  I get an A, not even a smile anymore.  They get a B!!!!  And they have the nerve to be proud of it.  Oh lets throw a pizza party for this lazy mofo.  He sleeps for most of his classes, but he deserves it!  If I were to ever slip up...I feel crazy.

Hehe, "lazy mofo".  Ahem, anyway at this point I felt myself pivoting towards a more happy life.

I don't know what kinda magic it is, but being more carefree and relaxed is the answer.

Don't stress, don't care.  It's gonna be alright in the end.

Yesterday I remember being pulled out of class to one of the vice-principal type people.  I thought I was in some kinda trouble because there was this detention fiasco I've never mentioned before and don't feel like explaining.  Funny enough my worries were yet again proven wrong when it was pretty much just a praise speech which I'm highly modest about.  It was really great honesty, but I didn't say that.  I think I'm too polite now, we were playing basketball today and I bumped into someone.  Sounds pretty typical, but I muttered a sorry instinctively and he had a cheerful laugh over the fact.  Because having players apologizing to the opposing team does sound kinda ridiculous right?  Hehe.

Overall though the main theme of the meeting thing was how much I've changed since 9th grade, which I can kinda see myself.  I don't like judging myself, but I agree with it.  The only problem I have with my life right now are my parents (well, Mom and Step-Dad) and me trying to still figure out life.  I really want to smile everyday, I really do.  But that doesn't happen, I'm not going to pull some '09 ToonyMan bullshit and go "I'm crazy." or "I'm all alone."  'Cause I'm not, bitch.  I've got friends, all you've gotta do is be nice to people.  I'm serious, give some greetings and talk some.  If it turns out they're an asshole then they're an asshole!  They don't know how to live so don't bother with them.  If you're ever insulted just laugh it off, it doesn't matter man.  It's just a petty insult about something stupid like water melting.

My interest in science and math is at an all time low right now though, but it has been replaced with fiction.  Lovely lovely fiction of all kinds.  And my English grade is higher now, huzzah!

Lastly, I guess I'll mention today we had to fill out a 'superlative' thing for the Senior class.  There's like 20 different titles ranging from "Class Clown" to "Best Artist" to "Most Likely to Succeed".  The whole day was pretty much just kids running around with ideas for who would be who.  There's quite a bit of Seniors though (not enough to fill more than one page though!) and most surprisingly I was getting comments the whole day that they put me down for the "Most Likely to Succeed" thing, which is nice to hear.  I even gave them a thank you.  You're suppose to do that man.  Anyway, the whole thing was really cool and I had some fun.

Now I just have to smile and enjoy it.  I'm involving myself but I'm not really feeling it emotionally as much as I like or should be.

EDIT:
Oh, and fingers crossed if somebody actually replies to something serious I say.

[SalmonGod]

I don't feel any kind of further obligation towards it (that would probably change if I had no friends, though).

I do, whether I feel friendless or not.  I was raised in an environment where duty was the word of the day.  Duty to the human race, duty to your family, duty to your friends, social obligations, obligations based on birthright, blah blah blah.  "Do what you can with what you have been given, for that is part of the social contract.  If you expect good things from others, you must do good yourself."

Of course, I got burned when I discovered for the first time that others don't hold this opinion, but that wound has been healing nicely.

I share this especially.  I was raised on Tolkien; a world full of characters dripping with noble integrity.  So that, coupled with my natural INFPness, influenced my behavior on a deep level from a very early age.  "You can't expect something from others that you're not willing to put forth yourself" I concluded on my own in my early teens.

And now most of my life today is a result of being driven by my self-cultivated selflessness.  Lots of people would rather call it stupidity, but it's the only way of life that makes sense to me.  I do wish I'd been more capable of handling some of the situations I've put myself in for others, but I wouldn't have much self-respect today if I hadn't anyway.

However, I was never wounded by the realization that others don't share these perspectives/qualities.  In fact, one of my biggest revelations in life was when I realized that there are people in the world who aren't full of shit.  That was actually when I became a reclusive people watcher.  My observations have amounted to one thing:  People don't have faith in people.  They get burned once or informed by our paranoid culture that people suck.  They abandon idealistic notions and live by selfish pragmatism, which gets worse as they get older.  They continually observe each other doing what they feel they have to do, and it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.  The only answer is to lead by example, and prove that we are capable of better.