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[nenjin]

Yeah, teachers are mighty insensitive about that. When I told my teacher (from the above story) that the two people she paired me with were dorm mates AND had been in school together for three years, she kind of winced and just sincerely said "I'm sorry, I had no idea." Maybe that's why I got a top grade on my paper.

Still, show some leadership, even if that's sigh-laden "alright guys, I know no one wants to do this but...." I'm an introverted nerd too, but when I get into groups and the "get it done" mentality, I lead. Again, it's better than several group sessions of pure awkwardness, drudgery and eventually getting D or a worse.

Plus with foreign students, half of them are just wanting someone to engage them directly, even if they lack the language skills. American students tend to treat foreign students like they're an entire species apart. Even if they don't intentionally mean to be like that, a lot of it comes out through their mannerisms. (Not making eye contact, making a point of never speaking to them directly.)

So yeah. At the very least, if you try to lead and fail, you do better on your grade than the people in your group who did nothing at all.

[Realmfighter]

And now I remember why i didn't just do this myself before.

Writing sympathetically is hard.

[Heron TSG]

Group work is not my favorite, to put it simply. I have a few friends I work well with, a few more that I like but don't work well with, and then there is the teeming mass of other people who I've rarely ever talked to. When a teacher assigns groups and I happen to be in a group with only strangers and acquaintances, for some reason people look to me to lead them, as if getting decent grades mean that I'm a born leader. I'm not. I take responsibility, but I never really like to. The worst part is when everyone is supposed to do an equal share of work, when I know that I could finish the assignment (and do it fairly well) by myself in twenty minutes, but I have to help the one slacker I always seem to be stuck with (not naming any names) work through it for the rest of the period. I like the group I usually work with because we all work efficiently and help each other out, instead of sitting around until someone else (me) can help them.

[sonerohi]

Man I hate having to work with a mixture of our exchange students and our regular students. One or the other is ok, but the groups just don't seem to mix. I'll be all leadery and I'll just be like "Musong Kim, this is your job here" in normal speach and the other kids are all like, talking slow and asking me shit like " do you think he understands what to do?". Like languages are a lost art everywhere but country of origin or something. The kid learned English before he came here, it is a cultural exchange, not the training of they very first translator.

[Vector]

There's a rant ahead, I guess.  Sort of.  Maybe it's just a sad curl inwards.

I don't expect only positive feedback, or even mostly positive feedback, or sugarcoated crap.  I actually look forward to negative commentary.  But I turned in the "story" of what had happened over the past two years, and this one guy gave it back with... nasty stuff written on it.  Stuff about my having pride and self-pity in my "victim identity."  Stuff about how I feel I'm not responsible for myself because I'm a victim.

I wrote "I prefer to think that I'm creatively absent-minded, rather than autistic."  He wrote "thus not responsible for what you create?"

What a fucker.

No.

I choose to forget about the shit I've been diagnosed with because then there's hope that maybe, somewhere out there, there is someone who will find me lovable.  That I'm not just some vessel to channel mathematics and other ideas onto the page.  That, as a person, I might have worth for something other than my ideas.  That, when I am old and can't write any more theorems, I won't just be stuffed away somewhere because I've become absolutely nothing.

I am more than numbers, bad social skills, and a tendency to withdraw from society.  There are things that have happened to me that I could not control.  There are things that have happened that I did not have the knowledge to prevent.  There are things that have happened that I effected, via passiveness or some other personal sin.  Goodness knows that I've never run around looking for trouble, but I know there were things I could have done to prevent some of the more negative things in my life.  Like dressing a bit more normally.  Might have helped.

And yes, they are things that "happened to me."  They are "occurrences" in my "life," many of which I don't feel responsible for--because hell, it's not like I FORCED people to hit me.  Did I tell Thyme to grope me while I was asleep?  Fuck no.  Should I have stopped being friends with her then and there?  Yes.  But I was weak, and so we remained friends.  Did I beg my classmates to ignore and demean me?  No.  I know I should have been more out-going.  I didn't understand it at the time--I swear, I had no idea how to get through the first step of socializing.  Couldn't even recognize friendly gestures.  At later dates, I began to understand things, and then it really was my fault for not trying.

What I understand about existence is that it's a combination of one's own actions, and the "fate" inflicted on an individual by his environment.  Other people make their choices, which inform your choices, which informs your existence, which informs theirs.  I can't come running in, saying "this bad thing happened and it was all my fault."  We all built this situation and perpetuated it.  We played our roles and if in the end I was the one who dropped out of school and nearly went nuts, then that's too bad.

But I can't pretend that I forced anyone to act as they did.  They always had a choice.  The things I did were dumb, and yes, there's no reason why I should expect people to act against their own personal advantage.

That doesn't mean they had to do what they did, just as it doesn't mean I had to do what I did.  We are all victims.  We are all villains.


*sigh*

Good on me to allow him to affect me like this, huh?  I feel so good right now I could curl up and kind of stop interacting with society at large.  I don't know why I expect people not to be fucktards anymore.  It's like some part of me believes in the inherent good of mankind, or something.  HA.

[Heron TSG]

I wrote "I prefer to think that I'm creatively absent-minded, rather than autistic."  He wrote "thus not responsible for what you create?"

What a fucker.

I don't understand his logic. How does a preference for a different translate into removing responsibility? Either I must be missing some context, or he's pants-on-head retarded.

[dragnar]

Good on me to allow him to affect me like this, huh?  I feel so good right now I could curl up and kind of stop interacting with society at large.  I don't know why I expect people not to be fucktards anymore.  It's like some part of me believes in the inherent good of mankind, or something.  HA.

Inherent good of mankind? Nah, not in the least. On the other hand, the majority of people aren't bad... Though it sounds like you've had more than your fair share of jerks. Doesn't mean everyone's like that.

[MaximumZero]

I wrote "I prefer to think that I'm creatively absent-minded, rather than autistic."  He wrote "thus not responsible for what you create?"

What a fucker.

I don't understand his logic. How does a preference for a different translate into removing responsibility? Either I must be missing some context, or he's pants-on-head retarded.

I'm gonna go with pants-on-head retarded. I thought I was the only one who said that.

[Bauglir]

-snip-

[Gunner-Chan]

I'm gonna go with pants-on-head retarded. I thought I was the only one who said that.

What about wheels-on-ducks retarded? That's what I've always said.

[Vector]

The context, I believe, is that he read it and decided I was a disgusting person and that the real protagonist in this thing was Rosewood, my parents, and everyone who wasn't me.

It was like he went through the whole thing and said: "Okay, I'm going to do my best to make this person feel like a shitty human being, rip their metaphorical clothes off, parade them around, and then shove them off into the night."

HURMPGH.

Good on me to allow him to affect me like this, huh?  I feel so good right now I could curl up and kind of stop interacting with society at large.  I don't know why I expect people not to be fucktards anymore.  It's like some part of me believes in the inherent good of mankind, or something.  HA.

Inherent good of mankind? Nah, not in the least. On the other hand, the majority of people aren't bad... Though it sounds like you've had more than your fair share of jerks. Doesn't mean everyone's like that.

Wait, so by preferring not to use terminology related to a diagnosis (which, at least in my experience, is the single most effective type of language to express victimization), and thus decreasing the extent to which you believe your problems to be imposed on you by the external world, he says you're ignoring responsibility and thinking of yourself as a victim? If my head were more combustible, it would have exploded. I say with significant confidence that the guy is crazy. Apparently he extrapolated your pretty reasonable "I am not omnipotent" position into ridiculousness, that's all I can think of.

Incidentally, don't worry, there ARE some good people out there. The problem is that I find their blood to be so delicious they mysteriously disappear on moonless nights jackasses tend to be more obvious since one facet of being a good person is often "Don't get in the way".

Thanks to both of you, and much appreciated.  I thought it was weird, but I'm calmer now and have realized that I may not have properly expressed myself.  He is, after all, viewing the situation through a very narrow four-page lens.  In any case, all future commentary from him is going to be dragged through the salty, salty ocean before digestion.

What about wheels-on-ducks retarded? That's what I've always said.

Hah, that's actually pretty good.  I'll have to remember that one, if you don't mind my borrowing it from time to time :3

[dragnar]

I wrote "I prefer to think that I'm creatively absent-minded, rather than autistic."  He wrote "thus not responsible for what you create?"

What a fucker.

I don't understand his logic. How does a preference for a different translate into removing responsibility? Either I must be missing some context, or he's pants-on-head retarded.

I'm gonna go with pants-on-head retarded. I thought I was the only one who said that.

I thought only Zero Punctuation used that.

[Solifuge]

What about wheels-on-ducks retarded? That's what I've always said.

Wheels-on-Ducks Retarded is fantastic! That's going in a sentence tomorrow, whether I have to force it or not.

-Rational Rawr-

Inherent good of mankind? Nah, not in the least.

I believe people think of themselves as innately Good; no one I've ever known has thought of themselves as Evil, and most folks dislike even being seen as wrong. Even when we're doing something we recognize as hurtful or harmful, we find ways to justify it, and make it "okay", if not "good". Even something as severe as the Holocaust was justified to it's perpetrators.

I wager your classmate wanted to help, but they're doing it from an uninformed, opinionated, and condescending position. Moreover, they're not doing what they're supposed to be doing. If you wanted to improve dealings with your classmate, you could try saying something along the lines of: "Thank you for sharing your opinions with me, but please stick to critiquing my writing next time, instead of what you believe you know about my personality and/or life. We're here to polish our writing, and not to help enterprising young Freuds practice psychotherapy."

Optionally, if you felt particularly spiteful, you can punctuate that with an "...asswipe.", or a Boot to the Head, and burn the charred remains of that bridge. I might advise against it, though.

[ein]

Bleh, hot night tonight.
Fan's on max and I'm not wearing a shirt, but it's still too hot.

[lordnincompoop]

Well, it's cold up here. It's always cold.