Or, y'know, you're just meeting some jerks. I mean, that's the whole idea right? Finding the guy who likes who you are, which by definition will the last one you meet.
True.
And yes, if ever there was a time to make your case that being married does not mean a life of domestic servitude and cranking out children, it's now. You've said you're 20 years old, right? If there's one thing I've learned from watching every single member of my family marry and divorce at least once or twice, it's that anybody who thinks they know who they want to spend the rest of their life with, and goes into it believing that, before the age of 25 or 30 is taking the mother of all gambles.
Yup, 20 years old, and definitely not getting married for a long time. I'm estimating between 10 and 20 years.
Would be nice to have some flowers, though =/ One is left with the feeling that nice things are reserved for pretty women with few brain cells.
That's the thing--am I crazy? I don't understand how young women can show up to me at the beginning of a relationship all smug and going "Ohhhh, Vector, you'll understand some day." Then things start getting rocky and I'm the one they come lean on, and finally they break up, she declares men everywhere to be assholes while crying on my shoulder and... a month later, she's fallen in love again.
It just seems so stupid. I may be just as lonely as they are, but I know that nothing begun now will end with positive results, so I don't want to start anything. I should probably stop worrying about getting dates when I'm 30, in that case
I'll be different enough then that it's not worth worrying about situations seen today.
They're intimidated because they're insecure. They were probably attracted to you because your appearance/demeanor suggested you were not just submissive but vulnerable (honestly I'd think the same thing if I saw a girl wearing those boots you posted a while back), have low standards, are easily manipulated, etc. There are plenty of dudes out there who like assertive women, but are you actually projecting an air of assertiveness, and the emotional stability that brings out the good side of assertiveness?
I don't know. Probably not. The real reason why I don't think I'll ever wind up with anyone is that I'm a neurotic, obsessive, perfectionist mess. With spikes.
It isn't easy for me to just act vulnerable all the time. I don't find it easy to act assertive all the time, either. It seems to bother men that I can readily say "That's interesting, but you're wrong. There's an obvious contradiction" to their faces like any of their male peers would, rather than saying "Oh, that's a really interesting idea! But I think there might be a little issue... here. Maybe we could change it slightly just like this, and--wow, everything works! You're so clever!" Or a similar, confrontation-avoidance-oriented statement.
Why shouldn't women get to say "You are wrong, and I will argue you into the ground unless you get the picture" in mathematics? It doesn't make sense. I don't see why I should have to be accommodating.
As far as emotional stability goes, back when I dropped out of school my classmates seemed genuinely shocked that I was anything less than carefree and cheerful. Same goes for about half of my friends (the other half I was either dating [and therefore thought I was crazy] or had spent high school/middle school being screwed up with). Assertiveness in general... generally, yes. I become very meek and passive for the first couple of weeks in a new situation, but after that I'm fine. I've even managed to fool a wide variety of people into thinking I was outgoing and extroverted.
So. Who knows, really? I have different facets. Though I may be wrong, I secretly believe that part of every person is vulnerable and insecure--we only call them insecure or vulnerable if they show it most of the time. Under that rubric, I'd be on the assertive and semi-stable side.
Maybe the problem is just that everyone thinks I'm crazy. Hm.
Author
Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9704481 times)