I'm a bit concerned by this:
... I think you guys take me a bit too seriously. No, the grass is not greener. Just because I did not list all of my embarrassing childhood habits does not mean that I am not aware of having them. I also do not want them back.
For example, I can now eat food without getting it absolutely everywhere, and I have stopped being such a hardcore procrastinator. Just because I
could work for longer hours does not mean that I
did work them. I largely don't pick fights, and can figure out when others are provoking me. I don't feel threatened by other intelligent people anymore. I have a sense of taste, and think with far more mental clarity than I did. I am capable of compassion and have stopped trying to see if I could make babies cry if I look at them hard enough (they always cheered up when I glared at them, by the way--I'm convinced that this was entirely out of spite).
I guess I'll put it this way. I have no problems with my overall personality; it's just that I've accepted some fetters I didn't want. Though I'd be the first to admit that I govern myself with a strict system of interlocking laws, I don't see why I should put any particular effort into dressing like other people, when it just makes me uncomfortable and feel like I don't look like myself. I also don't see why I should let mild physical discomforts bother me. That's all... nothing more, nothing less. Very simple.
My apologies if you misunderstood me, but I thank you for your concern. I'm okay, doodabuddy. I've been okay for a long time now, and I'm not stuck here idealizing my childhood self or anything. Hell, I'm not idealizing Rosewood, either. I'm just seeing some things I threw away somewhere down the line, which I've felt the lack of for a long time without realizing what I was missing.
Looks like you made the same realization, that I discribed in that post some time ago, which you probably never read, about when I had it.
Read it. Took a while to sink in.
Yeah. Vector, concerning oneself with upcoming events (to a point, that is), and beinga able to tell people off without worrying for peer rejection are signs of maturity (meaning, I think we ought to put a very strict limit on the number of things we are willing to put up with for the sake of peer acceptance. And balance it against that acceptance's benefits.
I... do concern myself with upcoming events? It's just that I once disbelieved all the people telling me "no, you can't do that, that's too hard for you," to good effects. I'd like to do that again--the naysayers were just about always wrong. I can also tell people off just fine, but think that learning to keep my temper in some instances would be a good thing. Being able to maintain a sense of self while holding one's tongue is another sign of maturity.