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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9707340 times)

ToonyMan

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4365 on: April 13, 2010, 03:24:27 pm »

At about the age of 13 I realized I was being horribly crippled by my Mother so I told her straight I didn't need help from her.

The damage was too late though, she completely turtle'd me from the "dangerous" outside world and I had no friends, now at the age of 16 I am FINALLY getting into social groups and all the hard work is for sure paying off.  I mean, I'm not getting assistance from anyone and I'm doing better than most!  Anytime somebody wants to like cheat me through something I'm like screw you I'm ToonyMan I can do this.

...Which is the only reason I still move forward.  I don't really have any other reason to succeed besides because I want to.  I don't care about having a rich house (never had one), don't care about money (never spend it), and I don't care about fame or shit (blah).

Vector, your parents bully you?  I'm not sure what you mean.

My parents are both high school dropouts who did all the classic mistakes you do when you're young and now it's hitting them.  That doesn't make them bad people, they just are pressuring me to do what they didn't.  The problem being that they ignored what affect that would have on me in their selfish desires.

That effect being complete social outcast who is having a hell of a time getting back in, which I am accomplishing.  I just need to gut up and do the final push.  My ultimate goal is to have friends and succeed, whatever that may be.

Live long and prosper.
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4366 on: April 13, 2010, 03:30:35 pm »

They demean me and try to intimidate me out of seeking help from others.  When I tell them I am experiencing significant trouble, they tell me everything I experience is a. normal or b. my fault.

They call me names, swear at me, and threaten to abandon me.

Given my experiences, I believe that constitutes bullying.
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ToonyMan

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4367 on: April 13, 2010, 03:33:26 pm »

:[

Threaten to abandon?  What the fuck.
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cganya

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4368 on: April 13, 2010, 03:54:53 pm »

They demean me and try to intimidate me out of seeking help from others.  When I tell them I am experiencing significant trouble, they tell me everything I experience is a. normal or b. my fault.

They call me names, swear at me, and threaten to abandon me.

Given my experiences, I believe that constitutes bullying.

i know they are your parents but have you considered getting away from them? to a shelter or a friend's place? is there no way you can go live on your own away from them?
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Solifuge

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4369 on: April 13, 2010, 03:58:52 pm »

Vector, if you're an only child, I'd bet it's partially due to that. Parents don't recieve a copy of "How to Raise Your Offspring" when they have a baby... and a lot of people make poor parents, especially the first time around. They've surely got some motive that they feel is in your best interest, but that doesn't mean that it IS actually in your best interest. Feel free to draw the line where you wish to, and if that means you need to go seek help on your own, so be it. There's lots of free help available to students; counsellors can often hook you up with free/cheep therapists too.

My parents provided a wonderful example of what not to do as an adult. I love them, but they can be terrible, petty, miserable people, and I left their house one evening with the intent of never living with them again.

The cost of this? I've been going to college for close to 5 years, and I'm not even halfway to my Bachelors degree, due to working full time and taking part-time classes. The reward is that I get to live my own life, and can visit them on my own terms. Honestly, my relationship has improved with them a great deal since I moved out... my Stepfather still has his advice to give, and my mom is still as crazy as ever, but they trust me to handle myself, and provide bits of assistance if I truely need it. It's far from a glamorous lifestyle, but I'm living under my own roof, holding myself to my own rules, and living as I want to live.

Though not directly pertinent, I'm trying to illustrate a principle by proxy. Your folks aren't helping you right now; only you can know what's going on in your head, and what is best for you. Draw a line peacefully, and let them know that you're going to do what you're going to do (whatever that may be) and they can either choose to help you get there, or they can let you do it on your own.

You're drawing a line, but extending an olive branch. The added bonus? This puts them in a situation where doing anything other than helping you out would make them the bad guy.

Do what you've got to do. If this means you've got to bike to campus, so be it... just be safe if it's a long trip. :P
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Footkerchief

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4370 on: April 13, 2010, 04:09:33 pm »

Though not directly pertinent, I'm trying to illustrate a principle by proxy. Your folks aren't helping you right now; only you can know what's going on in your head, and what is best for you. Draw a line peacefully, and let them know that you're going to do what you're going to do (whatever that may be) and they can either choose to help you get there, or they can let you do it on your own.

You're drawing a line, but extending an olive branch. The added bonus? This puts them in a situation where doing anything other than helping you out would make them the bad guy.

Moving out is a huge, huge part of drawing that line, though, and if she can't keep a job then she's in no position to do that.  Honestly that sounds like a house I'd have stayed out of at any cost, even if it meant going crazy at college or what have you.
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Red Fortune

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4371 on: April 13, 2010, 04:23:22 pm »

My mum just refused to take me to the doctor again...

I have 2 ingrown toenails (though I've had them for >2 months, so I'm used to them) and unexplainable breathing problems...

I can't afford to go there myself.
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Rooster

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4372 on: April 13, 2010, 04:53:03 pm »

@Toony Man: Your stories would make many comic book heroes drop their jaws.
You're THE man.

screw you I'm ToonyMan I can do this.

Don't you ever forget that.

@Vector: You can't continue? Then don't. Take your life into your own hands. A little bit different than others may tell you. Take your mental health into your own hands. right here, right now. I know from your posts that you're a wonderfull, strong person.

We all went through hell and back apparently. I will tell you all what I did with that. When one enters the darkness mode, and turn into a crazy/psychopath/maniac/unstable person things look grimm. I have an abusive parent, and was abused in school. I could've ended it, but I didn't. I knew that someday it will be better. At the time I didn't know that I could stand up for myself. Anybody know the song "Pain without love"? I eventually realised that pain was like a drug, that I miss it now (messed up isn't it?). Now I only have an abusive parent left. I can relate a little to experiences of Vector. My grandparents advise me that I let myself get beaten up, just like that. I'll say that they can shove their fanatical religious beliefs where the sun doesn't shine. I can stand up for myself now. Nothing that happens to me now will not make me think that I've been through worse.

@Vector: It's impossible to not make mistakes. If your parent thinks that, then they deserve to be disobeyed. Your mother clearly abuses her parental power, and I genuinely know what parental abuse is. Do what you will of it, but do know that there are other people in this small world. Anonyomous people that root for you.

@Toony Man: You're the Toony Man. I clearly don't know your specialty (I'm guessing math or science) but whatever it is, you'll be great some day. But you know what? You don't have to sacrifice happiness. I know somebody that also wants to be great, and studies hard. That person also frequently hangs out with friends. Just the fact that you're here on the forums is a good thing. You've changed since you were a crazy little troll. Character development does wonders.
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Shades

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4373 on: April 13, 2010, 04:54:45 pm »

Seriously, how many people here obeyed their parents' every word--or, more importantly, didn't exercise enough or eat well enough at times, and didn't end up crazy?

If it helps I told my mum she ruined my life a number of times, and made my life hell, among other things. A fact which she enjoys reminding me of. In actual fact both my parents where fairly relaxed and good from what I can tell, I just didn't think so at the time. They can't be blamed for my level of screwiness at least.

Awesome.  Now I have a nice nine months of total loneliness and probably daily bullying from both of my parents ahead of me.  Oh, I'm sorry... I have a nice rest of my life of bullying from both of my parents.  There's reasons why I've considered changing my name, cutting my hair, and moving to France.

I've mentioned before your mum sounds abusive to me, over controlling parents are never a good thing, but I'm not really sure how any of us can help. I'd recommend not running away though as that rarely helps, if you were older I'd have probably encouraged you to move out at least but as it is you'd have a hard time supporting yourself I think.

I'd recommend venting to friends that you trust and who can console you and doing whatever you can to make things easier while you bide your time. Then move out as soon as you can. College or unis are a good bet (at least here they would be, no idea what country your in)
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deadlycairn

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4374 on: April 13, 2010, 05:08:58 pm »

Unfortunately, she moved out of Uni as she was having great difficulties there, and it sounds like she's having difficulties with her friendships too.

Catch-22 anyone?
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ToonyMan

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4375 on: April 13, 2010, 05:22:46 pm »

Thanks, that made me feel good.

I plan my specialty to be everything, which is a oxymoron I guess.  On a more sensible route I've stated before that I'm going for Electrical Engineer.

Doesn't stop me from getting A's for everything else.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4376 on: April 13, 2010, 08:09:36 pm »

Seriously, how many people here obeyed their parents' every word--or, more importantly, didn't exercise enough or eat well enough at times, and didn't end up crazy?
Believe me, there is no such thing as sanity. If you're as sane as a delusional parent, then congrats, you're as insane as they are. Harsh as it sounds.

Not to judge or give the wrong image of my parents or siblings but; I can't explain it, but for some time, for most my life in fact, I've been what I would call the poster-child of good kids. I listened to most-every word my parents gave, I worshiped heroes for the fact they were doing the right thing, I was a walking after-school special. No drinking, no drugs or beyond friendships (full-blown relationships) until adulthood. Sure, I'm still the role model of the century, but I've been working much of my adult life to undo most of the damage done by being the "Nice Guy" or someone's (nobody's actually) prince charming. The great motivator to deconstruct myself was the mere fact that I couldn't get a date to save my life because I was mechanically a nice person. Of course, therapy is advised to "fix" the problem (my consciousness noticing something was wrong with me being "sane". I had to turn insane to regain self). So to put it, I came to the conclusion that I am a manufactured personality. Solution? Commit social suicide, and have a mental breakdown, recollect, and rebuild as I see fit. Sure, I have the mental makeup of a supervillain nowadays, but I'm finally comfortable with myself. Plus, at least I can still be good, but not obligatorily nice.

Reasons I see my adult rebellion stage working for the better is because, as my observations have been showing me, it seems that any and all of my moves draw more paranoia from everyone than when I am suicidally depressed (never committing to that. I usually talk myself out of it one way or another; for starters, I'm hard to kill. I have survived some nasty spills and impacts before.). I mean, I'm finally leaving my job to freelance and do some oddjobs here and there to keep myself funded, and I have a decent cache of money in stow. I have my plans mapped out to the precise second and location, I have gambits and traps set all over the place to get what I want when I need it, and not waste it. Yesterday, everyone was extremely supportive of my move, and my 2-weeks notice. Today, I'm hit with all sorts of doubts that would normally make me feel paranoid for my life. Thank goodness I have nothing to live or die for, otherwise I'd be worried.

EDIT:
I need not sympathy nor advice. I follow my gut and decipher my Deja Vu. If I have a gift, and I lack a manual, I'm going to figure out how it works. So far, I've been right alot, whether I want to be or not. To quote my New Year's Resolution (one of them): "I know what the fuck I'm doing.", and I am doing justly so. So far, everything lines up, and working exactly as I see fit. I think what worries my family most is how my shifting moods are usually rational. Have fun trying to convince me otherwise. I'm stubborn as ever.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2010, 08:30:28 pm by Itnetlolor »
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ein

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4377 on: April 13, 2010, 08:23:37 pm »

I have trouble reading most of the posts in this thread.
I usually just skim over them.
They're all so... wordy and depressing.
This makes me sad because it means I can't give advice.

buckets

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4378 on: April 13, 2010, 09:25:04 pm »

Man, my parents used to pretty brutal. We'd alway fight, we'd scream and yell there were even times where it looked like it might come to violence, and this happened at least once a day. They'd constantly presure me to drop out of school, they'd ignore and belittle me.

But suddenly, I stopped being a teenager. Everyone relaxed, I stopped having tantrums and yelling at my parents, and they stopped yelling back. They began to realise that I was indeed old enough to run my own life, so they stopped trying to guide me. Pretty much everything settled down.

Now I can enjoy some beers with my folks, I love hanging out with them.
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deadlycairn

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #4379 on: April 13, 2010, 09:39:26 pm »

Nightmares. Goddamn nightmares. For the second day in a row, and the third time in four days. And all the old woes are still there - sister now refuses to have a meeting without a mediator.
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