Do what I would do, and find the diamonds, or at least manufacture some out of the coal/ashes of your mind/past. It may be a lame thing psychologists would tell you to do for a couple hundred, but it is effective if you put your mind to it. Take what you could've been, and bring it to who you are. Jump-start a -life crisis and make the adjustment, do it a few more times and rewrite yourself. You are the author of your story. Tell it your way.
Yeah, I've been trying to force that for about three years now. It hasn't happened yet, and I'm feeling the days slip away all the faster. I keep thinking, any day now, I'll sit down and do all that stuff I want to do. Funny how doing nothing for three years can take up so much time.
Meh, sometimes when it seems like you're doing nothing, you're actually doing more than it appears. Time will slow down soon enough. Just consider life having no time limit, and there shouldn't be much to worry about. It's all relative. Don't panic and don't worry, and things should zero-out again. By that time, you'll figure out something to do without realizing it.
It's kinda how I found a way out of my annoying-ass job, and made up a plan on the spot in a fraction of the time it would normally take. In a way, the time just seemed right once I noticed. You'll know what I'm talking about when the time comes. So to put it, right now may not be the right time to get things in order yet. It's like unclogging a drain, you can force it, and you can FORCE it. So to put it, don't put too much effort into something, minimize the effort required, but still apply some. Think of life also like a finger trap or a Rubik's Cube. You just have to take your time, and let things flow.
Only when there's a waterfall with possibly jagged rocks at the bottom should you start fighting the current and take the other direction the river provides, or at least drop an anchor and find an out.