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[Vector]

I just remembered that whenever I get like I did, I gotta zip my mouth up. Or in this case, keep my fingers off a keyboard. Starting to not appear normal and more like a complaining nitwit. Very unlike how I usually am.

On the other hand, if you can't be yourself here, then where can you be so honest?  I think we mean well when you say you're being irrational or somesuch, but you probably already know that.

Dunno.  It sounds like your life is really rough, and I'm sorry to hear that people treat you so badly.  Hopefully it will get better really soon.

[Duke 2.0]

I'm going insane from loneliness again, and I didn't even notice until today.  Goddammit.

My sister dragged me to an event today. I dunno if being around people makes the loneliness sharper, but I had to run away from it all. I have not felt this way since elementary school when I knew nobody I could rely upon.

 Except this time my sister was there to help me out this time. Still, I'm getting the feeling that I have an idea of what you are going through.

[Itnetlolor]

I'm going insane from loneliness again, and I didn't even notice until today.  Goddammit.

My sister dragged me to an event today. I dunno if being around people makes the loneliness sharper, but I had to run away from it all. I have not felt this way since elementary school when I knew nobody I could rely upon.

 Except this time my sister was there to help me out this time. Still, I'm getting the feeling that I have an idea of what you are going through.

Sometimes going to a social event while feeling lonely tends to go the opposite expected direction. I mean, if you're out with siblings, you can always BS over a drink and chat through/out of the loneliness; bonus if they invited anyone else you can relate to. Then again, social events can just knock the memories/reasons why you feel lonely back in a jiffy, and make you feel worse.

But of course, it also depends on the kind of social setting, and if there's any good music to listen to. Get enough ingredients to mix together well enough, and sometimes you barely need any social contact to knock sense back in. At least, that's what I tend to do; or try to go nuts with being creative. Isolate out the loneliness, converting it into solitude instead. I think I've been hit with the feeling enough times to find workarounds for it.

[Vector]

I'm going insane from loneliness again, and I didn't even notice until today.  Goddammit.

My sister dragged me to an event today. I dunno if being around people makes the loneliness sharper, but I had to run away from it all. I have not felt this way since elementary school when I knew nobody I could rely upon.

 Except this time my sister was there to help me out this time. Still, I'm getting the feeling that I have an idea of what you are going through.

Thanks--I really appreciate it.  I just made some dumb choices over the past month or so that ended up cutting off pretty much all social contact--much worse than in elementary school, since I didn't spend all my time in elementary school locked in the library.  I didn't realize I needed people so much    But at least now I've got things figured out, so I'm shooting off some feelers into the void and trying to get my previous social setup reinstated.

At least I figured this out now, rather than when it was too late.  I've only had two days of crashing, rather than what happened before when I had several months' worth and nearly killed myself.

I'm counting every single blessing I've got, because I'm still alive and nowhere near critically depressed.

Sometimes going to a social event while feeling lonely tends to go the opposite expected direction. I mean, if you're out with siblings, you can always BS over a drink and chat through/out of the loneliness; bonus if they invited anyone else you can relate to. Then again, social events can just knock the memories/reasons why you feel lonely back in a jiffy, and make you feel worse.

But of course, it also depends on the kind of social setting, and if there's any good music to listen to. Get enough ingredients to mix together well enough, and sometimes you barely need any social contact to knock sense back in. At least, that's what I tend to do; or try to go nuts with being creative. Isolate out the loneliness, converting it into solitude instead. I think I've been hit with the feeling enough times to find workarounds for it.

Nah, this is more of a "I've had almost no social contact for the past three weeks" sort of loneliness (where by "almost no" I pretty much mean "often less than 20 minutes of conversation per day, if any."  I handled this when I was a little kid by reading a lot of books... they were my best friends.  I still take huge stacks of books everywhere I go, because they help me calm down and so on.  Now I'm reading my math textbooks in the voices of people I know, which helps a lot.  The current plan involves reading a novel this weekend and having lunch with my mom, then getting back to actual socializing as soon as I have a chance.

Mostly, though, I need to go back to attending class.  I get way too paranoid when I don't (even if I generally don't need to go) and I've discovered that I need the social contact, even if I royally suck at socializing.  It's a needed torture.




... Things that made me sad, you say?  My left thumb is severely infected.  I'm currently watching for signs of streaking down the arm so I'll know if I need to take it in for fixing and/or amputation.

[deadlycairn]

I too, am going nuts through an ever worsening cycle of loneliness, depression, isolation, and guilt.

I'm gonna end up very bad if things don't improve fast.

On a more immediate note, I washed a house today, for a fundraiser. The mold-killing spray we were given was extremely potent. Unfortunately, due to bad advice and not reading the label until too late, we didn't realise this when we began spraying. The result? I completely bleached nearly all of the colour out of my favourite jacket (for sentimental reasons), managed to get some in my eye and it STILL hurts, and I STILL SMELL LIKE A FREAKING SWIMMING POOL.

Needless to say, this angers me somewhat. And I have to do it all over again (hopefully without the mishaps) next week.

[Vector]

Thank God, I found my cell phone.  Now I can at least hear someone's voice if I need to.

...

This is a major improvement, by the way.  There shall be much celebration in the House of Vector tonight.

[Cthulhu]

I, for one, have little trouble going for long periods of time without any contact with friends.  I don't like it, but I don't get depressed or lonely or anything.  I guess I'm lucky.

[Vector]

I, for one, have little trouble going for long periods of time without any contact with friends.  I don't like it, but I don't get depressed or lonely or anything.  I guess I'm lucky.

I think it's a lot easier if you've generally gotten enough social contact to go without for a while, to be honest.  For me, this is pretty much "I got almost no contact for 20 years, which has made me into the sort of person who routinely carries on conversations with objects and/or herself."  I finally managed to make enough inroads that I wasn't mood-swinging up and down the hallways, but the system still isn't exactly stable enough to go through deprivation for extended periods.

In other words: I was previously seeing my friend once per week; now I am pretty much not talking to anyone at all, and had no way to contact anyone if things got bad.  Oh, well.  I'm pretty sure I'll feel better, soon.

[MrWiggles]

I'm a complacent depressed person. I live in a rural town, in a 35 foot RV with my imminent family of three others.

I know what would make me happy, though that frustrating as it'll take money, due to my inability to get such employment greatly frustrates me again. I'm arrested in going in my life for the last 6 years. I had employment for two years, where I purchase my computer and a car, though the car is the family car and my computer is dying on me.  (The monitor flickers off, and the cd drive is dead.) There were once good progress of me being able to move out.

I've been unemployed for almost two years.

I can't seek education as though my schooling cost my delimited or comp, the extra expense of traveling to the nearest community college makes it prohibitory expensive.

There is little work in Mojave, since I lack security clearance I can't even get janitorial work. There more work in the Lancaster/Palmdale area, but that has to be full time or I loose money on travel expenses, and due to commute time I cant go to school and go work full time.

All my friends live 80+ miles away, that I intermittently make contact with. None of them are in the shape to offer any support to help me move down to a larger city to get a job and school. Not that they would need to help me get employed, just merely housing and food.

Knowing that my life isn't going anywhere, really weighs heavily on me, and only have communication with my friends through IM or the scant email disassociates myself from their social life as I am an after thought if I am lucky. I didnt even know one of my best friends was in county jail, and on top of that was moved to a county jail near to where I live. I only discovered on the day I managed to come and visit.

I go through periods where I dont check my email and throw away my IM applications.

I generally pull myself out as though I am unhappy with my life, I find the alternative worse. I recently pulled myself out of it, as I lost an opportunity to work for Blizzard get burned in front of me, as my best friend was moving even further away to the opposite side of the country from me.

The reason why I pulled myself out of not speaking to anyone is because I knew he was going to go someplace where he wouldnt be terribly comfy and having a crappy life for quite a bit, I knew he need me to help make the adjustment.

[Solifuge]

MW, look into scholarships and student loans. They can cover even living expenses at a University (dorm, food, etc), and if you're poor, they do a ton more for you. I was unemployed, with two unemployed parents, and I got a truckload of money in grants alone, which I wouldn't have had to repay.... 5k in grant money, for a community college, is a ton. Just fill out a FAFSA and apply to some local schools that you think you'd like to go to. Its a good time for school, since work is hard to come by.

As for the folks experiencing social contact withdrawal, I know that one too. I spent the last two months living with my grandparents, an hour outside of the city I worked, went to school, and had friends in, without a phone or internet connection... it pretty much roundhouse kicked my social life. The extent of my hangout time was D&D night with my friends, one night a week, which I justified to myself as a prior obligation since it cost me about $20.00 in gas to get there and back.

Now, I'm back in the city, still without a phone, living in an apartment with only my Beta fish for company (Ozymandias, king of fish; look on his tank decorations, ye mighty, and despair), and taking the semester off from school while I transfer to an actual University. My coworkers are all 2-4 decades older than I am, with the notable exception of one other student intern, so I really don't related to them terribly well, and my social life remains crippled. Without any roommates, and no phone to use, and my social contact next to zero, my usual introversion has been flipped on its head, and I'm trying to find any excuse to visit people.

Luckily, my friends are running a 12-hour D&D session, and another friend is having a birthday celebration this weekend, which will probably help with that. There will be bar-hopping involved, and possibly drunken chess, and though I imbibe only rarely I would for an excuse to hang out... even if the run of my bar experiences sees me hit on almost exclusively by gay men, cougars, and girls whom I know for a fact have boyfriends. Once more into the breach, I suppose!

P.S. Things that made me sad? I just burned my oatmeal typing this. Truly my woes are great.

[ToonyMan]

What I find when you are with groups of people, is to like hang out with them.
Don't expect to put yourself by yourself and not get reactions.

Back on my 16th birthday...no one came to it, I gave invitations, but that didn't change the fact nobody came.  Not even my family outside the house came.  About 6 months later my brother had his birthday.  He's starting middle school.  Well, friend's from his school showed up, including like, OTHER PEOPLE.

That was the end of 10th grade when no one came to my b-day.

This week we just had, I think it was Tuesday.  I was sitting at lunch and one of my friends you can say asked when we could hang out, I kinda said I don't know and what not, but now I know that option is always available.

You need to stop thinking hmmm how do I put this.

It seems the start of 11th grade changed me (around September '09).  Before then I thought so horrible of other people, people I didn't know I just hated them because they didn't pass my impossible test.  I expected everyone to be like me, but you can't be thinking that.  I wanted friends that had the same motivation, interests, etc.  You have to realize though that people are who they are I needed to stop being so shallow.

During groups of people activities I used to find myself isolating myself for no other reason then not having to contact with other people, I'm passed that now.

Humans are meant to interact with each other (what do you think I'm doing right now).

Now I think of other people as people, sure some people are complete jerk asses, but you don't make friends with those people.  I can name off about 20 people I know I can talk to at school, maybe even more.

About the interests thing, I don't know anybody with even remotely similar interests with me at school, and talking about that kinda stuff would make me look like weirdo, but whatever.  You need to be able to connect with what the group is talking about right now.  I wouldn't want somebody that only talks about one thing would you?

Another thing, the whole look at someone elses point of view works well sometimes.  If you saw someone do what you did, would you consider it normal or whatever,

Normal is a weird word, I'm not going tp bother explaining it though, just.

1.  Don't isolate yourself because that kinda makes you lonely.
2.  Don't have people try to pass your impossible test.
3.  Think before you speak hurrr.

[Protactinium]

I just remembered that whenever I get like I did, I gotta zip my mouth up. Or in this case, keep my fingers off a keyboard. Starting to not appear normal and more like a complaining nitwit. Very unlike how I usually am.

BTW, try being a welcome mat sometime; being negative becomes a natural trait eventually. Especially when being positive and helpful to be kind eventually becomes mandatory. I just don't want to develop any tumors, ulcers, or severe mental disorders for holding it in for too long.

It's surprising to look back at myself from the past, and just see how completely different I turned out by comparison. I'd never expect myself to become how I am today from back then. Then again, in a past life, I was an optimist, and never saw it coming.

Don't zip your mouth up or keep away from the keyboard. This is the very place that you should be doing this complaining to let it all out. It doesn't matter if we challenge your feelings about this or that, if we think you're wrong. It's important that you let it all out, because we're here to help by listening and commenting.

We might be unfairly aggressive, or we might not be unfairly aggressive enough. But I'm pretty confident it'll be better for you to tell it here than to keep it all locked in.

That being said, I'd like to say that I wholeheartedly appreciate the way you put TVTropes links when you make posts. It's very well integrated and points me to interesting articles.

living in an apartment with only my Beta fish for company (Ozymandias, king of fish; look on his tank decorations, ye mighty, and despair)

This made me lol. I absolutely love that sonnet.

[Hippoman]

Yesterday found out that my 7 year old windows XP, my best and most loved computer, is dead. Compacitors are fried. Burned the motherboard, fluid started leaking.

[Diablous]

Yesterday found out that my 7 year old windows XP, my best and most loved computer, is dead. Compacitors are fried. Burned the motherboard, fluid started leaking.

 

[ToonyMan]

How?

Were you there when it happened?