Now looking back has made me sad. As much as I wish my social life were better, I feel fortunate it was crap, otherwise I wouldn't improved on myself. A star in the great black.
Yeah, this. I have two friends, neither of whom I get to see IRL, but I'm mostly fine with my crappy social life because of all the awesome mental toys it's brought me. I feel less fine realizing that as long as I keep working hard, it's going to be just like this for the rest of my life.
Yeah, a few friends I used to have (which are now just associates and local townies) I still see now and then. Just saw one of them while working. Not really much interest after not seeing them for just over 5 years on either end. Meh, after re-evaluating my personality and history, I reset my associations with everyone I ever knew; family excluded for obvious reason.
But yeah, mental toys are pretty fun, especially if you have enough time and creativity to really make it screwy or useful; like conditioning your mind to somewhat be able to see and feel things that don't exist, or be able to manipulate mentally observed physics, and be able to mime things that don't exist. So to put it, that's how I manage to design some of my weapons/designs. I imagine their existence, kinaesthetically apply them to something my body can react to (weight and form being the easiest to apply), miming things becomes really easy, because the imagined existence I'm able to interact with immediately. Utilizing that, I can adjust/form my ideas before I draw them out, working out the physics, recoil, architecture, ergonomics, etc.. Once all that is applied, drawing the rest out is a cinch.
Hell, I would call it a very intuitive interactive augmented reality program developed mentally. Now, if only I could upload the data from my mind into a computer as files programs can read. The next best thing is pen/pencil and paper; or applying what I observe in my personal reality into a 3d-modeling program like 3DSMax.
Only real problem I have with doing these methods (using mental toys to occupy my time/source creativity), I look immature and even a little nuts. Ironically, it's "open minded" people that usually have the biggest problem with my methods of creativity. Kinda makes me feel insecure. Fortunately, lately, I've been giving less a shit about it; plus, considering I have a nephew and some nieces, I can still use my methods, and it won't look odd because I'm using it as a form of interaction with them, and at the same time, in case they end up using similar methods in the future, I can help them harness it and not feel insecure of using their mental gifts as they grow up. A simple "take that" to "open mindedness".
Kinda makes me think, idealism is bullcrap because it only applies to a single, or single collective's, personal beliefs without compromise to other views and a full vote on what is truly right and what is truly wrong. Not to derail with religion or anything, but I think that is a original intention of having a religion. Basically, a complete social agreement on acceptability.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9801347 times)