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[Diablous]

On a more serious note, I was way ahead of everyone else until around 7th grade, when it kind of got to my head and I got really lazy.  I still scored 98th percentile on virtually all tests, but anything that I didn't have to do in class I slacked off on and my grades suffered badly.  My high school GPA was like 2.3 or something.

My academic career in a nutshell.  I haven't had good grades with any consistency since Elementary school.  Except for my final year of highschool when I'd just given up so completely that I was knocked down to all the low-level classes where I was making A's in my sleep.

I have no idea why, because I enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishment, but without being purposefully and forcefully goaded into working, I will always take the path of least effort.  My normal approach to academics, or any other task really, is to do whatever comes naturally, slide by on minimal exertion, and in necessary fly into action right before whatever it is that needs doing absolutely needs doing.  Or just accept the consequences of failure with a shrug and an internal "oh well, I guess I'm not cut out for that".  The result is a liter of bipolar class grades, papers either not turned in, or turned in with rampant formatting errors but award-winning theory, and all manner of wacky problems outside of school-world.

And when simply left to my own devices, I get absolutely nothing done.  I've had tests I needed to study for, research I needed to read, and an all-online course that I've fallen way behind on and am slacking off from just by typing this.  Not to mention all the personal creativity I've whined about not doing elsewhere before.

Dammit, this is why I don't read this thread.  I'm sad enough without being reminded of all the other stuff I'm sad about but have gotten used to.

Essentially you wrote everything I was going to say.

HAY ME TOO!

O.K. when did I die, and you guys begin channeling my spirit?

[ToonyMan]

I wouldn't expect different.

[dragnar]

I wonder what percentage of this board is significantly above average. It appears to be quite high.

My school work used to be like that, breezing through without any trouble at all(except for english, I read the Lord of the Rings at 7 or so, but have a learning disability in writing) but now it's starting to come back to bite me. In a sophomore math course at 17, the math is finally starting to become difficult, and I'm still not studying/taking notes/doing anything except attending class. Unless I can start working a lot harder things are going to go very badly for me in a semester or two.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

I wonder what percentage of this board is significantly above average. It appears to be quite high.

My school work used to be like that, breezing through without any trouble at all(except for English, I read the Lord of the Rings at 7 or so, but have a learning disability in writing)

Goddamn, all of you are me. Or am I all of you?
I am sad because I have had an existential crisis.

[ToonyMan]

We're factoring trinomials.  (Fun fact, Firefox doesn't think trinomials is a word)

It's painfully easy, I want something new, but the teacher has to spend at least a week on it, sigh.

[chaoticag]

I've been feeling like I've ben under an enormous amount of pressure lately.

I've been blamed for pretty much everything lately, and am being forced to get things done in an absurdly small window of time, nothing that I even need to do, as well as getting some absolutely essential things done on time. It doesn't help that it feels like everyone around me thinks I won't get an acceptence. It doesn't help that my mother thinks that going overseas is a bad idea. It doesn't help that she is applying for a tourist visa so that she can drag herself along as if this a field trip. It doesn't help that she constantly threatens to have me not sent at all if I don't do as she says.

I'm not sure what else to say.

[Vector]

I ace all my classes and it pisses me off sometimes.  Oh, your son has a 12 grade reading level (back in 7th grade).  Blah blah genius I wish I had a million ToonyMan's,  I hate when other students around me are complete slackers, for example during study halls most kids find it a great time to sleep or socialize, I find myself unable to doing anything but work that has to be done.  I am in constant stress every minute of my life because I'm always worrying about something I did wrong the day before.

My grades in science and math are especially high (kinda why I'm going with the engineer thing).  Even though I'm unchallenged I am all stressed.  I rarely smile, yes it's true.  Most of the things I say are to lighten my own spirits, even this weekend so far has been a mess.

In school though I'm rarely made fun of, maybe because I act as nice and chill as possible.

See, that's interesting, because my teachers didn't want more of me.  They (and the other students, and the other students' parents) couldn't cope.  I drove them crazy and they couldn't figure out how to deal.  Some parents asked my mother to remove me from the school.  People always asked me why I didn't smile, beat me up, and so on.

Meh.  I'm glad that that phase of my life is long gone.

Vector (/Toony?), at the risk of offering a sweeping, generalized word of advice based on a small amount of insight : If solving complex problems is making you happy, keep it up.

Well, the thing I've noticed is that what it makes me is "not crazy," and "not crazy" is the first step towards "happy."  So yeah, I'm going to become a mathematician, because otherwise I'd end up insane and enraged like I have all the other times I didn't have enough to do.

And yeah, I've heard it before.  Mostly from my mother, whose opinion seems to be "don't be ambitious, make babies."  I won't lump you in with her, though   Thanks for the advice.

ToonyMan is leaking super serious.
I know my usually label on Bay12 is a quirky and eccentric dude, but that's just an alias.

[...]

I usually hate my past self and all it's achievements.  By posting these I know I'll get attention to myself, but I don't want to being putting the spot light on myself.  I try to be the right blend of reserve and showy, but it's weird.

I think I used to be like you, but somewhere along the line I realized that even if I pulled all the right tricks, I'd never ingratiate myself to most people.  Even if I dress "normally" and try to dumb myself down, the weird always leaks out and I find it hard to get along with people on anything more than a superficial level.

So eventually I just started being unrepentantly surreal and eccentric, and suddenly everything's going better and people like talking to me.  Go figure.  I'm showy as hell, but for some reason people seem to like that.

Now looking back has made me sad. As much as I wish my social life were better, I feel fortunate it was crap, otherwise I wouldn't improved on myself. A star in the great black.

Yeah, this.  I have two friends, neither of whom I get to see IRL, but I'm mostly fine with my crappy social life because of all the awesome mental toys it's brought me.  I feel less fine realizing that as long as I keep working hard, it's going to be just like this for the rest of my life.

[ToonyMan]

People talk to me fine right now, it was in the past.
Mostly because I talk to others now.

Oh HAH.  Thursday I had gym and we played soccer.  I did so well the coach asks if I was ever on a soccer team, I was, but still I remember that.

I usually get picked near the beginning in sports now because I do my best.  I've never really noticed this gradually, it was very sudden.

[cowofdoom78963]

People always asked me why I didn't smile, beat me up, and so on.

I wish people would try to beat me up so I could become stronger.

[Vector]

People always asked me why I didn't smile, beat me up, and so on.

I wish people would try to beat me up so I could become stronger.

When you're crying under a desk and one of your purported friends comes to kick you, it's not fun.

On the other hand, I also ambushed people all through middle school, so I got something of a reputation for being a natural fighter.  Ah, the things life brings...

[ToonyMan]

Gah, bad friends.

You have to learn which people are the right friends, you know though, if they are sincere with you after a while.

[Org]

Gah, bad friends.

You have to learn which people are the right friends, you know though, if they are sincere with you after a while.

Yeah>
I have a few friends, because we have had many classes together.

And then some people hate me because I can be an asshole.

[Vector]

Gah, bad friends.

You have to learn which people are the right friends, you know though, if they are sincere with you after a while.

Yeah, I didn't really make any friends until the age of 17 or so.  The two I've made, however, are wonderfully nice people :3

[JoshuaFH]

Man, where would you need to go to find a place where the girls are beaten up?

I wish the best for you Vector, my life is a paradigm of soft happiness that can be shattered at any moment via a single bad day only to realize that I'll be alone until the day I die. That I can't even be happy with myself when I wake up every morning and I look at myself only to wonder how I grew up to be so pathetic. Virtually dominated by my past, I can only hope to have a tenuous grasp on my own future.

Yay sadness.

[Leafsnail]

Hmm... I seem to be quite lucky in terms of physical bullying in my area.  Although that may be because I'm over six foot tall, usually wear a leather jacket and could easily pass for hired muscle when walking with my friends...

(Not that I've ever learnt to fight.  But size and the fact that I accidentally punched out the toughest boy in my class is a great deterrant).