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[Realmfighter]

Do what my cousin did.

Get a great job and retire when you thirty.

Honestly, you sound just like him. When he graduated high school, he was top of everything. He won the awards for absolutely everything.

We call the graduation ceremony the Jason [My last name] show.

[ToonyMan]

Vector, I'm almost the exact same way.

I ace all my classes and it pisses me off sometimes.  Oh, your son has a 12 grade reading level (back in 7th grade).  Blah blah genius I wish I had a million ToonyMan's,  I hate when other students around me are complete slackers, for example during study halls most kids find it a great time to sleep or socialize, I find myself unable to doing anything but work that has to be done.  I am in constant stress every minute of my life because I'm always worrying about something I did wrong the day before.

My grades in science and math are especially high (kinda why I'm going with the engineer thing).  Even though I'm unchallenged I am all stressed.  I rarely smile, yes it's true.  Most of the things I say are to lighten my own spirits, even this weekend so far has been a mess.

In school though I'm rarely made fun of, maybe because I act as nice and chill as possible.

I need to think for a minute.

[Cthulhu]

Ha, my reading level was 12th grade in 6th grade, and 9th in second, so take that, ToonyMan.

On a more serious note, I was way ahead of everyone else until around 7th grade, when it kind of got to my head and I got really lazy.  I still scored 98th percentile on virtually all tests, but anything that I didn't have to do in class I slacked off on and my grades suffered badly.  My high school GPA was like 2.3 or something.  Shameful, Cthulhu.  Shameful.

[Realmfighter]

I am the opposite from you Toony. I find it nearly impossible to give a shit about my future.

After all, future Me is an asshole.

[ToonyMan]

The main reason I stress out I think is because of perfectionism.  I always think I can do better, even when the best could be "good enough".

I hate "good enough", I've overheard teachers encouraging students to get a C on their test, oh wow I C that is fantastic why don't we have a celebration and let you get a brand new ipod?

I hate support more than anything, whenever someone asks me if I need help it's a 100% no.  I hate making people work for me more than anything.  It makes me feel selfish and the guilt kills me.  I have a lot of guilt, I can't look people in the eye.  Even when it wouldn't normally be anything wrong.

The reason why this whole weekend has been a shitfuck is because of Friday.

Friday, I was going to go to school like a normal teenage boy, but my parents thought different.

They turned off my alarm, I woke up at 10 AM.

They thought I was working too hard.  :[  I hate playing catch up shit man.
Now I'm going to have to walk in Monday and my anxiety is going to kill me, great.

Yeah I said it was a snow day yesterday, but I didn't feel like sharing right now.  I probably killed your trust, but whatever.  GAHHh

[Enzo]

Vector (/Toony?), at the risk of offering a sweeping, generalized word of advice based on a small amount of insight : If solving complex problems is making you happy, keep it up. If it's not? Immediately start exploring other available options, which if you're smart, should be plentiful. Some of the smartest people I know chose a non-academic path and are better off for it. This is probably shit you've heard before and of no great worth on it's own, but it's worth saying. Success should be measured on your own terms.

I'm nearly falling apart here and Nether makes a fucking DF joke at my expense and Rildler just joins in.

I'm starting to really hate it here.

Daww Janet, just because we're jerks doesn't mean we don't wuv you.

[Jackrabbit]

As for people getting rewarded for C grades, you need to remember that other people are not you. Everyone has their own personal best and it seems like you're so good that people expect you to do well. If someone is praised for doing average (to you) it's because that's the best they can do and that's no bad thing, so don't get upset if it happens, because other people can't do what you do. And if they're not trying, then fuck those assholes, let them rot. It sounds vindictive, but they're rotting on their own anyway.

[ToonyMan]

ToonyMan is leaking super serious.
I know my usually label on Bay12 is a quirky and eccentric dude, but that's just an alias.

I feel pretty jaded to the world, but I also have that knowledge that I'm being naive and doing that would catch me off-guard.

I usually hate my past self and all it's achievements.  By posting these I know I'll get attention to myself, but I don't want to being putting the spot light on myself.  I try to be the right blend of reserve and showy, but it's weird.

I may never be happy, but I never cry either.  Only in rare occasions would I do either.  Sometimes I get a fit of happy in me, but it usually lasts about 5 seconds before turning back to normal.  When I find anything new or interesting it excites me for maybe a minute, anything I find more exciting than that is a rare occurrence and would be quickly devoured into my mind.  My freakin mind.  The internet is a dangerous place, I feel like I know more than I should...heh.

[Aqizzar]

I usually hate my past self and all it's achievements.  By posting these I know I'll get attention to myself, but I don't want to being putting the spot light on myself.  I try to be the right blend of reserve and showy, but it's weird.

If I can offer any advice, don't "try to be" anything.  Just say whatever comes naturally, or say nothing if that seems appropriate.  And don't let yourself get wrapped up in your past.  It's a bad place to be no matter what, and it's especially fruitless to concern yourself with if your past only matters to you.  But hey, what do I know, considering the rest of this post.

On a more serious note, I was way ahead of everyone else until around 7th grade, when it kind of got to my head and I got really lazy.  I still scored 98th percentile on virtually all tests, but anything that I didn't have to do in class I slacked off on and my grades suffered badly.  My high school GPA was like 2.3 or something.

My academic career in a nutshell.  I haven't had good grades with any consistency since Elementary school.  Except for my final year of highschool when I'd just given up so completely that I was knocked down to all the low-level classes where I was making A's in my sleep.

I have no idea why, because I enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishment, but without being purposefully and forcefully goaded into working, I will always take the path of least effort.  My normal approach to academics, or any other task really, is to do whatever comes naturally, slide by on minimal exertion, and in necessary fly into action right before whatever it is that needs doing absolutely needs doing.  Or just accept the consequences of failure with a shrug and an internal "oh well, I guess I'm not cut out for that".  The result is a liter of bipolar class grades, papers either not turned in, or turned in with rampant formatting errors but award-winning theory, and all manner of wacky problems outside of school-world.

And when simply left to my own devices, I get absolutely nothing done.  I've had tests I needed to study for, research I needed to read, and an all-online course that I've fallen way behind on and am slacking off from just by typing this.  Not to mention all the personal creativity I've whined about not doing elsewhere before.

Dammit, this is why I don't read this thread.  I'm sad enough without being reminded of all the other stuff I'm sad about but have gotten used to.

[Itnetlolor]

I had similar issues way back in elementary school; but I took a different route. Instead, I dumbed myself down and worked on my social image so I wouldn't get picked on as much... Yeah, it didn't work out as well as I thought.

A few times, I had my teachers think I was autistic, or even the other kind of "Special" (usually also because my mind wandered throughout classes since I can learn without even paying attention at the main subject; completely splitting my attention). As for social situations, I had 2 reasons. First, I wanted to knock attention away from my voice for once in that time (primary target for bullies of various sorts), and make them instead mock me for being smarter than them. I knew how to operate a gorram computer exceedingly better than the teachers for crying out loud in 2nd-5th grade in the library. I even opened programs that no other kids could gain access to, as if I were the elementary school hacker. I almost gained enough street smarts in time to be able to turn bribing my designated bully with lemon heads (the large kind), to making exchanges of certain things I found little value in (like the dime-a-dozen candy while it was easy pickings back then; although I did enjoy them too, a worthy sacrifice) to make him less of a jerkass towards the rest of the school. When I would've been able to do the big reveal, I would've completely outsmarted and dominated the school bully, as the weakest kid in the school (or so everyone thought). But of course, this is me as an adult reviewing and kicking myself in the past for not having the balls to finish my plan.

My second reason for also holding back on my effort in classes was to also stay within a curve. You know, not be the best, but not be too average. So to put it, I didn't want to appear to be an arrogant genius through book smarts alone; and despite how far more brilliant than the other kids I was, I didn't want to discourage them. In hindsight, I also knew better scores just means more work which could lead to something I don't need, or would even likely use. Anyway, I actually was your overall "after-school special"-grade good kid. Yeah, that gave me some serious setbacks. At least after being the class target for a good portion of my life for various reasons; after spending a good amount of time being home-schooled as well, I returned with a vengeance (learning all sorts of things, and taking advantage of traveling while learning at times to further other kinds of training). So to put it, I still considered my freakishness; but instead, found it as an advantage instead of a problem. I did all I could to expand on those eccentricities, and find ways to exploit them for any occasion, by any means. Reminder: Beware the Nice Ones.

With unrestricted education of being home-schooled, tied in with personal curiosity, traveling at moments, having part-time odd jobs, I was no longer the same person when I came back for high school. It's an even more serious case with college. I'm still surprised old friends I had since elementary school still recognize me.

Now looking back has made me sad. As much as I wish my social life were better, I feel fortunate it was crap, otherwise I wouldn't improved on myself. A star in the great black.

[ToonyMan]

If I said whatever came naturally it'll probably go along the lines like this, it happened before.

1st period sometime last week I don't remember.  1st period is always Science, a course so easy (not helped by the fact this is freshmen electronic stuff, you know, ohm's law).

This special ed teacher comes walking in to watch the special ed kids, I've known who they are because the teacher always huddles near them and tells them to do their work.  Always the same kids, never any others.  Sorry if I'm being harsh, this is the sad thread.

Naturally, I hate the special ed teacher because the answer always has to be "her" way.  I over hear it while I do my work from other classes because I've already done this weeks homework.

Well, today I was in a really bad mood.

When she walked in today she did whatever, then she was talking about showing his work.  The kid got the answer right, but she wanted those damn equations to be written out thirty times.  I told her why it was to important to write out your answer if you get the answer right.  She said encase you get the answer wrong they can figure out what you did wrong.

Screw that, why can't I take that chance?  It's not like I'd get it wrong anyway.  It's like simple divisions and multiplication, you kow, ohm's law.

She kept responding with the same answer, then said some non sense about when you take the SAT or something.  I thought you had a time limit taking those, wouldn't it be hard to make it if you had to write everything out?

It went on for a bit and I actually was told to see her out of class, then and there.

Heh, outside in the hall she told me she's under a lot of stress and didn't want to deal with me.

Teachers aren't suppose to look weak, I try not to look weak.

Do not to look weak.  Whatever, something else is going to pop in my head and then another bunch of useless words.

[ToonyMan]

My rumpus hurts.

I've been sitting down too long, stupid tail.  I need to stop doing this.

[Jackrabbit]

I just finished watching Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog (I know, late to the party). Tragicomedys, goddamn it. I never do well with those, the mood whiplash always hurts.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

On a more serious note, I was way ahead of everyone else until around 7th grade, when it kind of got to my head and I got really lazy.  I still scored 98th percentile on virtually all tests, but anything that I didn't have to do in class I slacked off on and my grades suffered badly.  My high school GPA was like 2.3 or something.

My academic career in a nutshell.  I haven't had good grades with any consistency since Elementary school.  Except for my final year of highschool when I'd just given up so completely that I was knocked down to all the low-level classes where I was making A's in my sleep.

I have no idea why, because I enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishment, but without being purposefully and forcefully goaded into working, I will always take the path of least effort.  My normal approach to academics, or any other task really, is to do whatever comes naturally, slide by on minimal exertion, and in necessary fly into action right before whatever it is that needs doing absolutely needs doing.  Or just accept the consequences of failure with a shrug and an internal "oh well, I guess I'm not cut out for that".  The result is a liter of bipolar class grades, papers either not turned in, or turned in with rampant formatting errors but award-winning theory, and all manner of wacky problems outside of school-world.

And when simply left to my own devices, I get absolutely nothing done.  I've had tests I needed to study for, research I needed to read, and an all-online course that I've fallen way behind on and am slacking off from just by typing this.  Not to mention all the personal creativity I've whined about not doing elsewhere before.

Dammit, this is why I don't read this thread.  I'm sad enough without being reminded of all the other stuff I'm sad about but have gotten used to.

Essentially you wrote everything I was going to say.

[Enzo]

On a more serious note, I was way ahead of everyone else until around 7th grade, when it kind of got to my head and I got really lazy.  I still scored 98th percentile on virtually all tests, but anything that I didn't have to do in class I slacked off on and my grades suffered badly.  My high school GPA was like 2.3 or something.

My academic career in a nutshell.  I haven't had good grades with any consistency since Elementary school.  Except for my final year of highschool when I'd just given up so completely that I was knocked down to all the low-level classes where I was making A's in my sleep.

I have no idea why, because I enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishment, but without being purposefully and forcefully goaded into working, I will always take the path of least effort.  My normal approach to academics, or any other task really, is to do whatever comes naturally, slide by on minimal exertion, and in necessary fly into action right before whatever it is that needs doing absolutely needs doing.  Or just accept the consequences of failure with a shrug and an internal "oh well, I guess I'm not cut out for that".  The result is a liter of bipolar class grades, papers either not turned in, or turned in with rampant formatting errors but award-winning theory, and all manner of wacky problems outside of school-world.

And when simply left to my own devices, I get absolutely nothing done.  I've had tests I needed to study for, research I needed to read, and an all-online course that I've fallen way behind on and am slacking off from just by typing this.  Not to mention all the personal creativity I've whined about not doing elsewhere before.

Dammit, this is why I don't read this thread.  I'm sad enough without being reminded of all the other stuff I'm sad about but have gotten used to.

Essentially you wrote everything I was going to say.

HAY ME TOO!