Actually there is sometihng that depressed me a few days ago, and won't quite go away. It's a long story, so I'll try to keep it short. Decided to visit some friends who are still attending college. The trip was sudden and short notice, but it had to be. I have a job coming up soon and they have finals week pretty soon. Maybe I should have made a plan, but unplanned fun was normal for me and my friends for a long time, I figure things will turn out alright, and it does for the first two days. I room with my old roommate, I run into all sorts of friends and much fun is had. Then sunday came. Woke up at 3 AM by a text, it's from the college's warning system, there was a drive by shooting in town and the police are seeking someone by a certain description. I'm too worried to go back to sleep, so I pray, listen for weird noises, and watch the window in the very weird off chance that I might spot the guy. Nothing happens, I go back to sleep, get another text that says the police arrested four suspects, and back to sleep again.
I was going to attend a baptist church (I'm non denominational Christian, however) I had attended for over 4 years and had last attended 7 months piror, my old roommate had a ride to a different church. I ask for a ride to mine it it's ok with him, he says it is, and we go... and nobody is there. Roommate says I should have called in advance. I decide to stay and wait. Nearly 2 hours later... the church is still empty and locked up, yet there's still chairs, tables, bibles, hymnals inside in their proper places. I call a friend in that church, no answer. I give up, call my roommate to say I'll find a way to amuse myself until he gets back. Then he calls back and says he and his ride are coming to pick me up. They do so, we go to his church, and I'm quite miserable.
He apparently attends a MEGA CHURCH, one of those that have hundreds of people, millions of cash to spend, and a gigantic parking lot. I'm used to a church that won't break 30 until the young couples start having kids again (I swear, the women took turns getting pregnant...). On top of that, as far as I know, those 30 something people I've come to know and love have seperated, spread out, and I may not see them until I get to heaven. I wasn't just another attender to these people, they actually reached out to me and accepted me as one of the guys, it totally blew me away that my mere appearance at their church was reason enough to accept me into their lives. Then suddenly they're gone, and instead, I'm attending a church that, although I don't doubt that they do worship God for real, I doubt I could find any personal relationships there, and asking fellow Christians difficult, personal questions is one of the ways I get closer to God.
So the service ends (which doubled as a wedding for a couple that looked like high schoolers... who were renewing their vows?), and we go out. I need to use the bathroom bad, and once we're outside I'm able to catch up with them and tell them I have to go back in. I go back in, and I can't go, but I know why; I can't pee in noisy bathrooms, and telling myself to just relax already doesn't work. I go back out... and they're gone. They must have gone to the car, problem is, I don't remember where it is, let alone what the car even looks like. NO I DON'T KNOW CAR MODELS /angst. I call my roommate, he comes and gets me, and is quite amused at my apparent ineptitude. Back to town, eat lunch, bathroom break, to his apartment, and he says he's got a soccer game to go to and tries to set up something for me to do while he's gone. I settle on using his computer to check email. He leaves, I check email and Facebook and I start texting with a friend who I won't get to see that weekend. As we chat, I find out I should have taken a certain standardized test after graduating since I wanted to go to grad school. I had never heard of this test until that moment, or that grad school had more hoops to jump through besides a undergrad degree and an application. So now I really need a walk. I go out, lock the door, and walk to the main campus building. Then I decide to walk to the library. On my way there, I get an angry call from my roommate.
Apparently, he didn't have a key for the lock I used. The only other lock was the deadbolt, so of course, I used the only usuable one... he had never said to never lock that lock, or to not leave his apartment. He hangs up on me when I try to say where the locksmith could be found, and feeling quite more miserable than before, go to library to hopefully find a corner to crawl into. I run into a friend there who's looking up books for research, so I follow him around, help him out, and chat about what's bothering me. I'm still texting with that other friend, and she says I really should have planned my weekend better, although she does feel my pain about the incident, and reminds me that yes, my roommate will probably forgive me, although I should still apologize.
My roommate calls again, says he managed to get into his apartment, and he doesn't exactly hang up on me, but certainly makes the call very quick. My friend finds all his books, I'm pretty much done texting with the other friend, so I decide to go back. Very slowly. It's a 10 minute walk, I probably take over half an hour. I can't decide if I should call first or just go, I finally just go back to the apartment. At this point, I feel like I don't know what the right thing to do is anymore. My roommate lets me in, we talk civilly, I don't exactly apologize but he doesn't bring it up... it seems everything is forgiven in a round about way, although he does say I should really plan things about better. He says this emotionally, well, emotionally for him.
I feel better, the evening goes on. He has me play Nazi Zombies, which I suck horribly at and feel quite embarassed, especially when I have to use the headset to talk to the other players online and I get quite easily lost on the map, to the disbelief of my roommate. Our other roommate, who was my community advisor (CA) a few years ago, gets back from a ski trip and my roommate tells my old CA about the church fiasco that morning, and both are quite amused at my apparent ineptitude and utter lack of clairvoyance. The night ends with me attempting to turn off the PS3, forgetting that the touch on/off button on the machine does NOT turn it off, you have to use the controllers to do that. Yes I have an Xbox and it can do the same thing, except the on/off button on the machine can actually turn it off. My roommate found this VERY amusing.
Wake up next day, and it's time to go back home. Roommate is gone for his two hour 8 Am class, I get to chat with my old CA a bit before I go, but there's not much to talk about. I leave, catch the bus, catch my flight, and then I get a phone call from a friend from that baptist church. The church is not dead, they just moved to the high school and changed the hours. I feel quite relieved and happy, although, I had come to terms with the loss by then so I'm not as relieved as I could be. I fly home, and get a ride back home with mom and my big bro. Yes... I live at home, that's another story. Still bummed, I talk with my mom, who points out that all my roommate's talk about the importance of planning ahead could have been an out of the way of saying that he was waiting for me to say what I wanted to do that weekend. And by having no plans and saying I had no plans was causing him even MORE frustration. I felt awful again. Watched an episode of wife swap that happened to be on, which I normally hate with a passion, and sequestered myself in the basement to get in some gamer fun.
Then a different friend calls, I'll call him the teacher friend. I've known him and his wife since high school, and was even the one who accidently introduced them. During the weekend, I agreed to correct an important assignment of his for grammar issues, and he wanted my email. I gave it to him, and also mentioned the state of the baptist church because he, his wife, and I all went to it, and he and his wife also got pre-marriage counseling with the pastor. He and his wife weren't very regular attenders, but I felt they were involved enough to need to be informed. Although, during the weekend, I had texted his wife about the church and she hadn't known about it... and it was already 6 months into the school year. So anyway, he says nothing after I say this. Then says, "...bye." Hangs up before I can say anything. And that didn't help my self esteem either. I had a falling out with them nearly a year ago, which is also a long story, but we... mostly patched things up. Except now, for some reason, I cannot discuss the falling out with them, or the subject of video games... and apparently I can no longer discuss church with them? Never mind they're Christians too. The grammar corrections on the paper didn't entirely go well either, I did what I could for now and sent it back... and something tells me that I'll get an angry email back about that will be more about my ineptitude and less about "let's work together to make this work."
So that's where I'm at now. I think I have a question... at what point do the quirks in a person's personality end and the flaws begin? I think that's what I'm wondering right now. And maybe "why are people so impossible to please?" Could be another one.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9801264 times)