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[Spehss _]

Had a series of homicides and a suicide in the family. Volunteered to stay with my Grandpa with dementia for a while, while the family runs out west for the funerals. Don't really know how to process what happened... schizophrenia is an awful thing, and what happened breaks my heart.

If you know people dealing with depression, psychological troubles, a difficult history or childhood, or other things however serious or benign they seem; please do what you can to help them, or help them find help for themselves. World doesn't need any more death, tragedy, or statistics.

Sweet baby Jesus H Christ. That's awful, man.

[Rose]

Yeah, hang in there, dude, that's terrible.

[SalmonGod]

Soli

[Tiruin]

 

E: I do hope that 'shed light on mental illness' also pertains to the idea that this isn't a 'fully-exclusive' basis. Things like attitude, culture, exposure, beliefs and other things not originating from a biological origin also affect the interaction.

[Owlga]

Shit like that is why Gunner-Chan is so afraid of some of her own issues, given she's also schizophrenic. From what she tells me I'm surpised she has the willpower to keep it together and live a mostly normal life.

Loads of condolences and other such things Soli. While I've never seen it go that bad I've been exposed to a lot of the effects of our failure to properly treat mental illness, and I definitely have an idea of what sort of place this all puts you in.

[Solifuge]

I feel bad having posted about that. I don't even know if that's even a thing that people should share. I didn't want to derail the thread either, or make other people feel bad for posting here.

I've read or heard these kind of stories, lost a friend to homicide before, and several people to accidents, but I don't know how to feel. It was so senseless, needless, awful. No one knows what drove him to this. They were all good people, and they got along well. My cousin's boyfriend found them all. I can't even imagine that, or why it even happened at all.

I don't feel right making it into a call for action, but I keep reflecting on all the times I've heard about things like this happening to other people. I don't even know what to do, if anything could have been done to prevent it. He needed help, but I don't know how or what could have been done. Better counselling and therapy? Research into better treatments? Support from those close to him? Gun control? Working to change our culture away from one where murder is sometimes justified in our legal system, and often in our media and fantasies?

What can we reasonably do with this information, to help stop it from happening to someone else?

[Truean]

Society would have to change; not practical. Perhaps not possible. Change yourself.

Less stressful and less stress inducing towards others. Consideration from a healthy distance. Avoiding making others feel bad on purpose. Simple sayings, "I wish that didn't happen to you or anyone" instead of "get a job!"

Ultimately, many do not see mental illness as real. They are sadly mistaken. Not an excuse, or convenient, it is real. Avoiding trolling and revenge, etc. All are things that could in theory be done.... Overall, I think that may prove somewhat difficult.

Sorry for your loss. Most loss is senseless; this is perhaps moreso.

[Bauglir]

Friendo, you have have not derailed the thread. This is a place for sads. It is okay to talk here about things that have hurt you. I'm not sure if "What Bauglir is taking away from this terrible thing that happened in somebody else's life" is helpful, but since you mention not wanting to turn anything into a call for action, I just want to reassure you that it doesn't seem like that's the message you wanted to convey here. As far as I can tell, it's not like we (or you, I think) should redefine our lives and goals in the context of this one thing. But it is something to remember; for me, I didn't know those people, so the really important stuff, the things you learned from and about them, that made them family to you, aren't part of that thing to remember, but I do think that remembering that this happened will remind me of the importance of trying to understand people and helping them if I have the chance. Not so much action as mindfulness - not seeking out people who hurt, or taking responsibility for making sure something like this never happens again, but keeping an eye out for those situations when there is something I can do to help someone who needs it.

I mean, that's what I feel like is what can be reasonably done. I don't really know, though; I'm just some jackass on the Internet, so take from that what you can use (if anything) and don't sweat the rest.

[Spehss _]

I don't feel right making it into a call for action, but I keep reflecting on all the times I've heard about things like this happening to other people. I don't even know what to do, if anything could have been done to prevent it. He needed help, but I don't know how or what could have been done. Better counselling and therapy? Research into better treatments? Support from those close to him? Gun control? Working to change our culture away from one where murder is sometimes justified in our legal system, and often in our media and fantasies?

What can we reasonably do with this information, to help stop it from happening to someone else?

Don't think gun control would make much difference in violence related to mental health. If the problem is in the person, and the problem drives them to violence, they can perform violence either with a gun, or a knife, or fists, or a car, or whatever. The better option would be better mental health support.

The article said he had bipolar disorder and schizophrenia? Maybe he could've looked fine but was really in a really bad depression swing from the bipolar? Who knows.

I've read about incidents like this where a person with mental issues does something extreme. It's sad. It's even more sad when it's someone you know or someone that someone you know knows, because it makes the tragedy that much more real. And real tragedy is sad.

[Xantalos]

Shitballsdamn, Soli, that's some heavy shit to have to go through. My condolences with handling the aftermath.
Think personally the thing that'd really help with cases like these is changing the public perception of mental health. You still see people sometimes who say that depression is just people being lazy, or that PTSD/schizophrenics are 'wusses who need to man up', etc. It's rare, but it's not as rare as it should be.

Maybe start by featuring people going through that sort of thing in movies and TV shows and stuff. I've seen a few examples in popular movies, like the guy in American Sniper and maybe Iron Man 3, but it could be expanded.

My sads, which are really minor in comparison to Solifuge's situation but I still wanna post just to help get it off my chest: tonight work was fukcing exhausting, to the point where I thought I was gonna faint at a few points. I really have no idea how people sustain themselves through so many years of retail jobs beyond employing Stannis-like grit or somesuch.

Spoiler: unnecessary romantic bullshit that won't quit bugging me unless I write about it too - it's probably really angsty and mushy and shit like that (click to show/hide)

And even as exhausted as I was, I couldn't help but think about her, though I've been trying to keep my thoughts from focusing unnecessarily on her like they've been doing over the last ...several months. It's hard to tell how long it's been since my feelings reached this level of intensity since they grew slowly over the period of the first 7 or 8 months I knew her. I didn't even realize they were there until then, but they've been escalating this whole time. I wish they wouldn't, but at the same time I can't help but savour them, which I suppose is the point of them. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier having to wrestle with this deep-set desire which seems to constantly be growing stronger, though. I'm pretty sure it's just my residual shyness and better judgement that keeps me from blurting it out sometimes. Even so, sometimes I can't help but do shit that I'm forced to debate with myself whether I shouldn't have done. For instance, even though I was barely awake by the end of my shift tonight I went and bought her a few of her favourite candies. No special occasion or reason I could bullshit into existence as to why I'd bought them other than the one I can't say. I don't even know what I'm going to do with them to be honest.
And yet despite all this emotional turbulence that she inadvertently causes, I can't help but relish her company, if only for the fact that when I'm hanging out with her, said emotional turbulence ceases and I can't help but feel happy/content/whole for those few hours or however long it ends up being.
Well, at least I know why people put so much stock in love the emotion now. Even the knowledge that I'll never be with her because she's already with someone, has been with them for around 3 times as long as I've even known her, and is genuinely and wholly in love with them, only makes it curiously bittersweet, which is a very interesting emotion to experience.
Oh look I've gone and written a shit-ton about my emotions concerning this whole situation, that just proves more how hopelessly entangled I am in this whole thing. I only ever get this verbose during fits of intense emotion normally, whether it be love, hate, fey moods, etc.
Damn brain always deciding to get infatuated with people already in relationships. This is just the continuation of that initial condition, I guess.
Eh, maybe if I make myself not think about it hard enough it'll go away. False hope, since that didn't work on the last infatuation, and that was much less intense than this one, but I have experience repressing my emotions. Figure I can't do too much more damage to my self-esteem or whatever it is that repressing feelings of love and desire by putting yourself down and convincing yourself that you're not worthy of them does than I already have.

[hops]

I don't know what to say. Well, I never know what to say, so I'm going to risk not contributing and just say that I'm sorry for what you're going through, Soli, and also other people because all sads are equally valid.

[Jopax]

Today is shit.
For a number of reasons and for no particular reason at all, it's just shit and it's going to keep being shit until it ends. Trouble is, I'm barely halfway trough it, and I know it's going to drag on at an inhumanly slow pace.

[MaximumZero]

@Xantalos: I don't know who Stannis is, but I've been retail/customer service for 8+ years. It's hell, but I keep going because a) I never want my kids to have to work the shit side of the counter (although I think everyone should, briefly, to see what it's like when they're obnoxious shits in stores,) and b) there's a light at the end of the tunnel. There really is. I swear, I can almost see it. I won't be in retail forever, right?

[scriver]

I've been working in retail (grocery counts as retail, right?) for a few months now and I've never had anyone be an obnoxious shit to me. Is that where all ky luck go?

Also Stannis is apparently the Mannis.

[TempAcc]

People need to stop treating schizophrenia as some sort of mood or condition you can just snap out of. Schzophrenia, depending on the degree of its gravity, is a pretty dangerous and very much real mental condition that afflicts a surprisingly not very small chunk of the general populace. Its among those psychological conditions that aren't just bad because they make the afflicted person's life a living hell, but can make them directly harmful to people close to them.

I myself had a cousin that suffered from a really bad case of schizophrenia and that would regulary attack her parents with knives unless she was heavily sedated. She nearly killed my aunt one day, before they actualy decided to put her in an institution. The strange thing is, she had never before shown any symptoms. True, she had some learning disabilities, but she was never actualy aggressive and was rather sociable too. To this day, doctors dont have a clear idea of how she seemingly developed schizophrenia without anyone noticing.