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[Spehss _]

It's 12:30 at night and I'm tired. Being tired tends to make me more emotional. Being more emotional tends to make me think more and also makes me tired. Thinking more makes me less likely to fall asleep. This all combines to make me spew up emotions into the sad thread, because who needs sleep.

So anyway, I've been thinking. I have all these different creative ambitions. I want to do x, I want to d y, I want to be the best at both x, y, and z, and a and b for good measure. I have too many ambitions in too many different fields and as such I'm not getting anywhere with any of them. But I can't focus on just one thing and give up the others because I'm too interested in all of them.

It's depressing. I need some sort of goal to focus on in life, I can't just spin my wheels and just passively "live life as it comes". But now I have too many different goals and can't go anywhere with them and wind up just passively living and making no headway on any of them.

Don't know what to do. Or if what I'm saying makes sense or if it's all wrong.

It's like I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and horribly underworking.

[Solifuge]

In any case, the drain clogged with hair bothers me because it's a reminder of the sorry state my mental health is in, and that despite my best efforts (whatever those are worth), I'm decisively losing any fight I try to put up. The whole process is very stressful. This is one of more apparent symptoms.

I do appreciate the concern, though. You just might want to save it for someone more deserving next time.

Hey. Don't want to misunderstand you or overstep any bounds, but I'mma pull out my soapbox. I'd encourage you to generally cut the "I Don't Deserve Your Concern/Help" stuff.

I recall you're going through trouble with University right now, and it sounded like trouble with motivation. Maybe depression, in general? There were times, in the worst parts of my depression, where I couldn't do anything. I had to count "I took a shower today, ate enough food, and called that person back" as my successes. But they're successes; steps taken in the direction I wanted to go, however small. I would be able to do more later, but for now, I should remember that what I could manage was still good. One foot in front of the other, at whatever pace I could manage.

If you're upset at not being able to do things, or failing to meet an expectation you or others have for you, or whatever... don't be a dick to yourself, or tear yourself down. Be in your own corner, and build yourself up toward meeting those expectations. Or take some time to revisit your expectations, maybe see if they're feasible, or things you want to do, etc. Maybe try something new, or make a different plan to get where you want to be next time. Always keep it constructive, positive, and self-supportive, when you can.

Don't drown everything in the bad. Value yourself. Take some time to dwell on the positives, the growth, the successes, the steps you've taken in good directions. All that.

Spoiler: Excerpts from Stuff No One Told Me (click to show/hide)

http://www.snotm.com/

P.S. It's crappy to yourself to push away other people's concern or help, as though you somehow don't deserve it, It's also crappy to them to feel rejected or unwelcome. Let other people (me, et al.) determine whether they want to offer time or energy or help or whatever they want to offer you! Respect them enough to let them have concern for you, try to help, etc. And respect yourself enough to accept that help.

Also, good luck with all this. It will get better.

[WillowLuman]

It's 12:30 at night and I'm tired. Being tired tends to make me more emotional. Being more emotional tends to make me think more and also makes me tired. Thinking more makes me less likely to fall asleep. This all combines to make me spew up emotions into the sad thread, because who needs sleep.

So anyway, I've been thinking. I have all these different creative ambitions. I want to do x, I want to d y, I want to be the best at both x, y, and z, and a and b for good measure. I have too many ambitions in too many different fields and as such I'm not getting anywhere with any of them. But I can't focus on just one thing and give up the others because I'm too interested in all of them.

It's depressing. I need some sort of goal to focus on in life, I can't just spin my wheels and just passively "live life as it comes". But now I have too many different goals and can't go anywhere with them and wind up just passively living and making no headway on any of them.

Don't know what to do. Or if what I'm saying makes sense or if it's all wrong.

It's like I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and horribly underworking.

It makes perfect sense. I often feel exactly the same.

[Tiruin]

You just might want to save it for someone more deserving next time.

* Tiruin bops this statement because she is lacking time for posting anything.

Everyone deserves just as much as the next person all around you.
There's just beliefs that dwell in thought which poke 'HEY, YOU {NEGATIVE STATEMENT}'. And then we begin believing less of ourselves without fully knowing our true capabilities.

[Putnam]

Not to mention that concern isn't a zero-sum game.

[DreamCarver]

Not to mention that concern isn't a zero-sum game.

♪ And baby, we both know that's how it's supposed-to-be ♪

[itisnotlogical]

Why do people ask you to write a resume when you have literally nothing of value to put on there? "Graduated High School" and "One Year Of Fast Food" are my top accomplishments so far... eeegh.

[Graknorke]

Why do people ask you to write a resume when you have literally nothing of value to put on there? "Graduated High School" and "One Year Of Fast Food" are my top accomplishments so far... eeegh.

You write in lies. Lies on top of lies, so you can compete with everyone else's.

[WillowLuman]

Why do people ask you to write a resume when you have literally nothing of value to put on there? "Graduated High School" and "One Year Of Fast Food" are my top accomplishments so far... eeegh.

You write in lies. Lies on top of lies, so you can compete with everyone else's.

"Made an amateur game in unity as artist and designer, along with several other people who actually know how to code" -> "Project lead"

[AlleeCat]

Why do people ask you to write a resume when you have literally nothing of value to put on there? "Graduated High School" and "One Year Of Fast Food" are my top accomplishments so far... eeegh.

You write in lies. Lies on top of lies, so you can compete with everyone else's.

Not really lies. More like embellishment. Learn the lingo.
It's not a "weakness," it's "something to improve on."

[Dutchling]

My only weakness is honesty.

[Graknorke]

Right you are, some moralistic types must have been getting to me.
You write down the best version of the truth. It's still the truth, it just also makes you look better than maybe some other ways of describing things.

[ArKFallen]

Not really lies. More like embellishment. Learn the lingo.
It's not a "weakness," it's "something to improve on."

Right you are, some moralistic types must have been getting to me.
You write down the best version of the truth. It's still the truth, it just also makes you look better than maybe some other ways of describing things.

And this sort of shit makes me sad every time I think of it. I'm going to go ignore this thread for now, peace out.

[Solifuge]

Why do people ask you to write a resume when you have literally nothing of value to put on there? "Graduated High School" and "One Year Of Fast Food" are my top accomplishments so far... eeegh.

If you don't have a lot of work experience to cite, maybe aim for something closer to a Curriculum Vitae? List your skills, general education and electives, grades, skills from hobbies or extracurricular activities, how long you've been using said skills, special training you've gotten, that sort of thing. Even interpersonal skills or personal strengths, if you can manage.

My first resumes listed a lot of software I was proficient with, hobby programming experience, my brief experience organizing and playing with a small instrumental group, etc. Show whatever you got. Start with anything that looks good, illustrates things you've done, or shows a proficiency of yours, relevant to a job or no. Then trim it down afterward. That's my advice!

P.S. It doesn't require lying, really. Just noticing things you do, and what strengths that imparts. It's actually, perhaps, more honest to look at and convey yourself through that lens, rather than the one where you ignore your less obvious aptitudes and strengths.

[AlleeCat]

And never make it more than a page. They will throw it out without looking at it if it's too long.