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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9772723 times)

NullForceOmega

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92460 on: April 26, 2015, 06:59:46 pm »

Do that, like I said, they're almost entirely social outcasts (I know I am), and they really are generally pretty easy to get along with.
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92461 on: April 26, 2015, 08:07:50 pm »

I keep asking if she wants to go and she gives a different reason every time all of which (besides only wanting to go to senior prom) are things I can resolve such as paying class dues. I keep telling her and asking about going and me wanting to go with her and only asked about going with a friend (crush a year ago but just a friend now) and her friends. So ya...
Have you asked why outside the context of trying to get her to go? It's probably best to assume she's made up her mind, and figure out how to work around that. That said,

(crush a year ago but just a friend now)

is hella dangerous, especially if your girlfriend knows it. From her perspective, that's essentially saying, "If you won't do what I want, I'll replace you."

Now, the problem is that she's almost certainly not looking at it from your perspective, either. It sounds to me like you both rate yourselves on what you think and feel, and the other on how they make you feel. It's not a healthy way to take a relationship, and you know why - all that abusive behavior you're dealing with is because she doesn't empathize with you in the same way she empathizes with herself. While this mutual hedonism persists, it's going to create a spiral of passive-aggression and doubt.

I'm not entirely sure how to resolve it. I know you need to take the first steps, but that's not guaranteed to work. If she continues to demonstrate an unwillingness to appreciate your perspective (that is, when you're not presenting it in order to convince her of anything), then you do have to be willing to consider that the relationship may not be worthwhile. If you're the only one trying, she'd just be taking advantage of you; same as if it went the other way 'round.

So, I guess, explain what you're feeling with trying to get her to do anything; don't try to get her to go to prom, don't get her to try to change her behavior, and for god's sake don't try to make her feel bad because you feel bad. If that helps, great. If it doesn't, then you'll have to set boundaries for what you can handle, be willing to disengage when she crosses them, and consider how that's going to affect the relationship. If she continues trying to manipulate you, and that stress isn't worth it, you may need to end it.
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

FearfulJesuit

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92462 on: April 26, 2015, 08:28:34 pm »

I arrived at the libary four and a half hours ago intending to study for a Greek quiz. Two venti lattes and four back issues of the Economist later, and actual work remains elusive...
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@Footjob, you can microwave most grains I've tried pretty easily through the microwave, even if they aren't packaged for it.

Baffler

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92463 on: April 26, 2015, 09:52:59 pm »

I arrived at the libary four and a half hours ago intending to study for a Greek quiz. Two venti lattes and four back issues of the Economist later, and actual work remains elusive...

I know this feeling all too well. I intended to get up at 10:00 this morning, have breakfast, and work/study through most of the day. I actually spent just over two hours on actual work, right after breakfast, then I went to get lunch. Now I'm preparing for bed with not so much as a glance at all of the study material I amassed.
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Yoink

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92464 on: April 26, 2015, 10:23:18 pm »

I want to go to this local game store and see about finding a DnD group but my social anxiety is acting up and as a result I'm reluctant to even leave the house. I'd be totally awkward at the game store and it'd be embarrassing and even though I want to go I don't want to go and aaaaaaa.

Maybe I'll just go tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Maybe.
Dude, when I signed up for the face-to-face DnD campaign I played a couple of years ago, I was terrified of meeting these people.
I showed up at the place with no idea what to expect, met the people who were there already and was on the verge of panic.
But, I stuck with it, we started playing and they all turned out to be really nice people- and a hell of a lot of fun to game with, especially once I came out of my shell enough to relax and contribute more. It was a great time. You should definitely go for it. If these people are running public games at a games store they want new people, and they're bound to be accommodating. 

Unless they're dickbags. But if they were dickbags, they wouldn't get people to keep playing with them, and there wouldn't be a game, so...
Just give it a go. :)
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FearfulJesuit

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92465 on: April 26, 2015, 10:49:54 pm »

I arrived at the libary four and a half hours ago intending to study for a Greek quiz. Two venti lattes and four back issues of the Economist later, and actual work remains elusive...

I know this feeling all too well. I intended to get up at 10:00 this morning, have breakfast, and work/study through most of the day. I actually spent just over two hours on actual work, right after breakfast, then I went to get lunch. Now I'm preparing for bed with not so much as a glance at all of the study material I amassed.

I've even moved on to writing a blog post, by now, but I did get, like, thirty minutes of studying in, which was enough to review the twenty or so lines of the Odyssey that I need to know tomorrow. I also went out for dinner, which was silly, since I wasn't all that hungry, although I am unusually cash-flush for a college student at the moment...
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@Footjob, you can microwave most grains I've tried pretty easily through the microwave, even if they aren't packaged for it.

Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92466 on: April 26, 2015, 11:41:25 pm »

Argh, I'm not even supposed to be able to feel this knee anymore, why is it in so much pain?
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Tack

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92467 on: April 27, 2015, 12:54:04 am »

Sad, Eartquakes, obviously.
It's a weird sentiment, but I'd rather be killed by mankind's stupidity than the world's indifference.
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Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Rose

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92468 on: April 27, 2015, 01:57:55 am »

Fortunately, if you die in an earthquake, it's often two for the price of one.

All the buildings that fell in the last few days were either really really old, or way below any reasonable building code.
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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92469 on: April 27, 2015, 02:10:54 am »

You want to game, but you don't want to be near people?  That won't really work to well Spehss_, just go, it won't hurt, and it might even be fun.
It's not so much I don't want to be near people as it is I'm just really uncomfortable meeting new people and being around people I don't know. So it's hard for me to meet people but once I'm friends with someone I'm not awkward or uncomfortable at all. A plus to tabletop games is that I could (hopefully) make some friends and get better at the whole people interaction dealio, as well as the whole game part of it.

Anyway, it's getting late at this point and I'm tired so I'm probably gonna hold off on going until later this week.

Sorry, twenty year veteran, 'net sessions are NOT the kind of gaming you get from an actual physical group.
I'm not too big on over-the-net tabletop gaming anyway. Definitely going to try in person sessions before online stuff.
>_>
That's it. I'm sending you tons of PMs. :I
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Descan

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92470 on: April 27, 2015, 02:14:15 am »

inb4 Spehss dies horribly in a PM crushing incident.
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92471 on: April 27, 2015, 02:20:39 am »

Tabletop gaming
Tabletop gaming
I kinda live in this assumption that my country is too small to have easily-accessible gaming groups, but the reality is that I'm way too reclusive of a person to try and track one down.
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Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Skyrunner

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92472 on: April 27, 2015, 04:24:38 am »

My five-day fever was not typical for a cold, said the doctor, so I took a blood test. I have inflammatory cells in my blood, which means it's either hepatitis or a bacterial infection somewhere... D:
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92473 on: April 27, 2015, 04:28:37 am »

Tabletop gaming
Tabletop gaming
I kinda live in this assumption that my country is too small to have easily-accessible gaming groups, but the reality is that I'm way too reclusive of a person to try and track one down.
What is it with Bay12 and everyone being me?
inb4 pathos
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BlitzDungeoneer

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #92474 on: April 27, 2015, 04:30:02 am »

Tabletop gaming
Tabletop gaming
I kinda live in this assumption that my country is too small to have easily-accessible gaming groups, but the reality is that I'm way too reclusive of a person to try and track one down.
What is it with Bay12 and everyone being me?
inb4 pathos
u basturd
ruining mah jok
i vill kill u
My five-day fever was not typical for a cold, said the doctor, so I took a blood test. I have inflammatory cells in my blood, which means it's either hepatitis or a bacterial infection somewhere... D:
*hugs*
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