As it turns out, a job I just recently got that looked rather promising was pretty much the opposite of it. Communication is not up there, the workloads, relative to the alotted time given, is inversely proportional (given a good dozen hours, work only half an hour, so far; and the job in general looks like a total of 3 hours, if I'm lucky, per-month), and so far, is the only job I've been able to get in the past couple months, regardless the dozens upon dozens of applications I send. Just as well, any effort I put in to finding work is met with similar results. It doesn't help that I have numerous debts I need to get out of either.
If it turns out that signing up for a job I'm entirely incompatible with, or apply to that demands 24/7 creativity while I'm on a dry-spell of creativity guarantees me getting work a thousand-fold, I'm giving up, and going back to minimum wage manual labor. At least then, I can actually sustain myself again. I feel like any/all of my prayers are muted, and God is not the God I've been taught about, and is instead a big child with a powerful toy, and a spiteful personality (like a kid playing The Sims). Actually makes me want to walk out on my faith. If our Lord is a loving one, then abuse does not equal love. I don't know what I did to piss Him off, but I'm pissed off at Him. I wonder which of us lost faith in who first? Tangible (me looking for work) and intangible (praying, begging for help, attending weekly mass, etc.; even showing patience when I had none remaining) efforts, for months, not showing anything, at least sufficient/sustainable, is enough to make anyone want to give up. Funny enough, I think even showing justifiable frustration is a sin; because anytime I mention having it, seems to welcome more crap from anyone/anything and everyone/everything.
EDIT:
Looking back at the post again, and considering everyone has times they feel like this, now I feel guilty for voicing it at all. Clever...
Looks like the lottery/scratch-offs is still a viable option; albeit, an extraordinarily stupid one while at it. But it's the only option left for me, again. Why do I feel
this trope is the most relevant to me lately?