Iron tomato: I'm open to PM's if you want to talk. Not sure how much I can help but I guess at bare minimum I could be a shoulder to cry on like everyone else....
This-up too!
Also what Yoink said--of note, he's swearing at the defeatist attitude there, and not you, IT.
He's got a nice point: You can change yourself--maybe not the big picture, instantaneously, but the small picture matters, all because the big picture is made up of construct of all those small pictures.
We're all here for ya--and if you wish to hear stories of such notions being disproven (ie future = better?! >_>) in a similar context, just ask (preferably in PMs); there are lots of people who have had them, and have gone through them pretty much...
But...yeah: root cause of problems come in attitude, and such a concept is a bundle of thoughts and beliefs...that there's a reason behind the occurrence for everything.
You are not dead that you are alive enough to speak about it. You seek for hope, and there is much around ya--don't give up, mate.
Everyone I know either hates me or ignores me, so it's not like I'll be making anyone sad. I don't have anyone left to talk to, or any shoulders left to safely cry on.
Either you're more mature than the rest around you or...well, I could relate there anyway. Story of my childhood to ~17 year old year in similarities.
Remember that out in the world--there are people who care for ya, even if they're not physically available; use that existence to calm you in thought, at least.