Your family needs to understand that you are sick, and you can't just be unsick when they want to go socialize. Getting them to understand this is hard. My parents threw me at shrinks my whole life and it wasn't until I attempted suicide that they actually bothered to try to care or understand.
It took two therapists, a doctor, my school councilor and me almost commiting suicide to get my mom to stop yelling at me for getting an 80% as my math final grade. Not even to get her to stop bugging me about marks, to get her to stop freaking out at me and trying to force me to retake my diploma. And even that only lasted for two weeks...
I have no idea how I would convince her I have a problem. Actually die?
Do you have a therapist or just a shrink? therapists are really good for managing problems in ways that help the meds. Also, sometimes it takes up to a month or so for the meds to work. But trazodone... eesh.
Both, and I am going to see a psychiatrist on January 3rd.
The therapist wants me to wait and see what the psychiatrist says, and the doctor doesn't want to prescribe any medication at all... It took effort to even get trazadone from him. And there aren't any other doctors open unless I want to drive an hour to see them.
weird psychs will usually throw meds at you. Hell, as an experiment, and because I thought it might actually work, I convinced my shrink to prescribe me adderall along with my xanax. Then I requested 40 mg a day. The dosage starts at 10mg, she went along with it. I ended up just taking .25 mg and refilling it once every 8 months because that shit is... well it's not good if you have anxiety. I finally just stopped taking it. It was really nice for not feeling sedated all the time, but not worth the added teeth grating, which actually worsened my TMJ (which comes from a lifetime of teeth grating.)
My shrink doesn't care at all, I have pretty much just told her what I need scripts for and she goes along with it. This is probably not a good course of action, but it has worked out, at any rate.
Most shrinks aren't going to be that permissive though, nor should they be.
Trazodone is really rough stuff if I remember currently. I did try a lot of medications during that time, so I could be wrong. The thing is, with crippling anxiety, the antidepressants/anti anxiety drugs don't really work that well. And taking benzodiapines can lead to dependency and it's hard to get a doctor to prescribe them. Many doctors just have a rule to never prescribe them.
It's different for everyone, but I found, for depression, effexor really worked for me, but the XR version didn't work at all (nor does any drug in XR form.) I also take a mood stabilizer and anti psychotic and xanax, so I'm on a bit of a cocktail.
The problem with effexor is trying to get off it. You get really ill and get bad flu-like symptoms for a few months. Geodon, my anti-psychotic... no, you are not getting off of that. I have tried lowering my dosage with approval from my shrink. The withdrawal is unbearable. I've gone a day or so without it before, you feel horrible, you will absolutely not sleep, you feel anxious and dizzy.
it seems like your therapist should be giving you ways to manage your depression and anxiety that are within your abilities while you wait for meds to work or be changed, though.
Unfortunately, getting the right medication takes a long time. But if you can get a good doctor that is an hour away, drive that hour.
It sounds like your mom is just abusing you. There's no good way to fix that. As I've said to others, and each time it is equally important, your problems are very real, and you matter. It's just a bad situation.