Kaladin, I would try to help but I don't have the slightest idea as to how I could.
I could try saying "Your life is worth it, blah blah" but I'm guessing you've already heard about four hundred times and if you're suicidal, it won't mean shit.
All I can really tell you is my own experience of overdosing on antidepressants, but I wasn't even trying to kill myself, just to feel numb to all the pain. (By the way, overdosing hurts like shit)
I've wanted to kill myself more times than I care to count. I've held knives to my throat countless times, seriously considering it. I've tried to drown myself. Sometimes it feels like there's still water in my lungs. But the fact of the matter is that none of my experiences really mean shit, because it's not like that helps you in the slightest.
And it's not to say that I don't care, I seriously hope that things improve to the point where it feels like life has an actual point to it, but I don't know what I can say to get any sort of positive feeling over to you.
*sigh*
I'm worried sick about my best friend because they're going through hell right now, and I sent them three messages and I don't even know if they've seen them, or if they're ok, or anything, and I'm worried as fuck about them.
I went to marriage councilling today, and accomplished considerably less than I hoped for, because we didn't have enough time to cover any of the things I wanted to cover, and I haven't been able to talk about my muscle spasms getting worse because it was just briefly skimmed over and not even seriously touched on.
I can't even use the laptop, even though I'm at the library, because fuck if I know what fried the damn thing, and I can't even remember how to set the thing to a prior save date to see if that will even work, because it crashes on booting, and the only thing I can access are the setup options, but those don't seem to have what I'm looking for.