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[Facekillz058]

What is wrong with me.
Everything was going just fine, I managed to speak my mind in a way that made sense.
I was at the point where she asked me,
"So are you breaking up our friendship?"
And I should have said yes, damn it.
But nooooooooooo.
I can't help myself.
"No, that's not what I meant at all."
"Then is there a point behind what you just told me."
END calmness.
"Yes, there is a fucking reason damn it."
Proceed to rant on why I'm a horrible selfish person and why because of her I'm miserable all the time when it isn't even her fault and aomFAGKDSLGKALKSGAK.
I am like, so freaking done right now.
Sometimes I just wish I could drop off the face of the earth.

[Spehss _]

Admitting it. Depressed. Really really depressed. Day started depressed, and I'm just feeling worse the longer the day goes on.

Mildly suicidal. I say mildly because despite how I really wish I could just curl up and stop existing and completely wipe any trace of my existence from the face of the earth, that's not possible. And despite how regularly I thought to myself today that I should just give up and kill myself, actually doing it would just upset everyone else and disrupt everything. And someone would have to deal with the aftermath. So logically, it's not an option.

so yeah. A bit sad.

[FearfulJesuit]

Admitting it. Depressed. Really really depressed. Day started depressed, and I'm just feeling worse the longer the day goes on.

Mildly suicidal. I say mildly because despite how I really wish I could just curl up and stop existing and completely wipe any trace of my existence from the face of the earth, that's not possible. And despite how regularly I thought to myself today that I should just give up and kill myself, actually doing it would just upset everyone else and disrupt everything. And someone would have to deal with the aftermath. So logically, it's not an option.

so yeah. A bit sad.

I feel something like that from time to time too...I don't think I'd ever go to the trouble of ever committing suicide, but some nights it feels like...If life had an off switch, basically, I'd have no trouble with pressing it.

(The other reason I wouldn't do it is that it has everything to do with my emotions, which are completely unpredictable...)

[Worldmaster27]

* Worldmaster27 hugs Truean, Facekillz, and Spehss

 

[Tiruin]

Argh 
All the recent events make me remember how traumatic my childhood was--down to that last vivid memory from depression to isolation to near-suicidal thoughts and how I overcame it. Meaning that those don't affect me now.
The sad part is translating how into English that the efficiency of advice is stifled.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Edit: Nope, not going to make this about me again.

[WillowLuman]

Admitting it. Depressed. Really really depressed. Day started depressed, and I'm just feeling worse the longer the day goes on.

Mildly suicidal. I say mildly because despite how I really wish I could just curl up and stop existing and completely wipe any trace of my existence from the face of the earth, that's not possible. And despite how regularly I thought to myself today that I should just give up and kill myself, actually doing it would just upset everyone else and disrupt everything. And someone would have to deal with the aftermath. So logically, it's not an option.

so yeah. A bit sad.

Anything in particular happen recently? Have you been doing a lot of work/been under a lot of pressure? Or has a general malaise and apathy just descended (as it tends to from time to time)?

[Lord Shonus]

Have been building a large shed for my dad for a couple weeks.

Today I took a nail from an air nailer gun to the fucking top of my head. Thankfully, it "only grazed along my skull." Let me tell you, it hurt like hell going in and it hurt like hell coming out. If nothing else, it did not pierce my skull. Let me show you what I'm talking about:



That son of a bitch, is an air nailer gun. It was loaded with a 3 1/2 inch framing nail (which thankfully was not barbed). It "double fired." This means that it shot one nail into the wood like it should have and then it shot a second nail straight onto the metal head of the last nail, making it ricochet.  Five things saved me. 1.) The air compressor had not recently activated, meaning the air pressure was not nearly as high as it could have been. 2.) The nail shot was a ricochet, meaning it had a significant amount of force diverted from its velocity (it hit the head of the previous nail, then the metal hurricane brace and wood, and finally went four or so feet down through the air from the peak of the roof to where I was on a ladder). 3.) Evidently my head was at an angle relative to the nail that allowed it to graze (instead of penetrate) off a hard part of bone instead of where two plates would come together (which would be solid but still easier to penetrate). 4.) I didn't panic and I climbed down the 10 ft ladder gritting my teeth and crying after the initial scream. This also kept my blood pressure down and although head wounds bleed like hell, lessened the bleeding to the point where I didn't pass out. 5.) I knew to pull the nail out in exactly the same way it went in, as opposed to ripping more tissue (you'd be surprised how much exit wounds happen in this type of situation when people should just leave it in and not move ANYTHING or only pull it out if you know EXACTLY what you're doing).

Four stitches, an ER visit and pain meds later, I'm doing better than I was. The nail skidded along my skull for under an inch or so under my scalp, but that's far more than you ever want a nail in your scalp. The doctor said I wasn't lucky to have a nail in my scalp but was lucky something that long didn't go through to my brain. Tetanus shot, those self dissolving stitches, and some other stuff later and there you go....

I had dinner with my mom and dad immediately after and my mom actually made fun of me and demanded I stop sighing/making noise.... Keep in mind, this was about 2 hours after the accident where a fucking nail went into my head and got stuck in my scalp. We had just literally gotten back from the pharmacy to pick up my pain meds, which had not really kicked in yet, so things were still hurting. She was bitching at me to quit whining and that I was too old for that and that it was really time to stop.... I don't give a shit how old you are, you get a nail stuck in any part of you like that and it's gonna hurt like hell. I let her have it and blew up on her. No regrets. If you spend time consoling the roofer who accidentally shot me (it wasn't really his fault), then you can show a hint of giving a fuck about your own son, who was busy building a large shed FOR YOU FOR FREE when a nail went into the fucking head.... This is not a negotiation, this is a shut the flying fuck up moment and have some god damn compassion bit of time right there. I've been shot before, and this was about on par with that when you consider the location and the fact that I had to feel the damn nail being pulled out.... (With a bullet, it stays in til they numb and operate).

I'm not doing shit on that god damn building anymore.

Who the HELL drags out the pneumatic tools to build a SHED. Hammer and nail, or at most a cordless drill with a screwdriver bit, would be more than adequate. That's like showing up for a squirrel hunt toting a bazooka.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Truean, I'm an adult and I still like to imagine myself a superhero when I can't get to sleep.

I think that it's rather hard to classify something as childish under these circumstances.

EDIT: Dumbo, it's the sad thread. You post your sads. Go and do it before I make a spread eagle of you.

Nuo.

* Dumbo Folds his arms and refuses to move.

But seriously, Sphess, I only recently got over a situation quite a bit like yours, but there isn't really much I can say to help.
Apart from internet hugs, of course.
Edit: Ha ha haaaaaaaa imanidiot.

[Sinlessmoon]

Admitting it. Depressed. Really really depressed. Day started depressed, and I'm just feeling worse the longer the day goes on.

Mildly suicidal. I say mildly because despite how I really wish I could just curl up and stop existing and completely wipe any trace of my existence from the face of the earth, that's not possible. And despite how regularly I thought to myself today that I should just give up and kill myself, actually doing it would just upset everyone else and disrupt everything. And someone would have to deal with the aftermath. So logically, it's not an option.

so yeah. A bit sad.

Hang in there Sphess, as it always gets better. *Internet Hug*

[IronTomato]

It really sucks when 90 percent of the PC games you want are Steam only, meaning there are barely any games you can get for your computer because your Internet has an extremely small limit and downloading one game off Steam could go anywhere using from half of it, to using it all up twice over.

[Spehss _]

-snip-

Anything in particular happen recently? Have you been doing a lot of work/been under a lot of pressure? Or has a general malaise and apathy just descended (as it tends to from time to time)?

No. Wouldn't surprise me if I have chronic depression or something. I'm stressing a bit over the question of what the hell I'm going to do with my life, what I'm going to major in, what job I'm going to get, etc. And I don't enjoy any of my hobbies outside of just playing games anymore. Considering how much emphasis I put on actually doing creative productive shit and accomplishing things, that in itself is depressing. Being depressed does not help the whole issue with not enjoying hobbies, obviously, so that's a cycle right there. And I still have no real friends, not that I've really made any effort. Still feels bad when hardly anyone talks to you or cares. There's various other vague aspects but I'm having a hard time coherently listing it all.

I'm just fed up with my continued existence. It's dissatisfying. I literally have no hope for my future except that eventually I'll die. I have no idea what I'll do with my life, I have no friends or any contacts or any plans for after college or any plans for college and I don't even know what I'm doing in college at this point. Dropping out is failure, but continuing seems just as hopeless and leading to failure. My life just seems bound for failure. I don't want to bother continuing when it all seems pointless.

ugh. I don't know what the problem is. The problem is lots of things. And I don't see any way out of the problem.

God I hate getting on here and talking about it. But I already brought this up, gg me.

[MaximumZero]

Holy shit, Truean. Just...holy shit. So glad you're (mostly) okay, and I hope they gave you hellacious pain meds. I absolutely don't blame you for not touching the shed again. Wow. I would holy shit again, but that seems to be overkill. Ah, fuck it. Holy shit, Truean.

[IronTomato]

Oh shit, I didn't see that before. Now my sad looks really small.

I hope you're okay, Truean. Get better soon. Hugs.

And yeah, showing up with that kind of equipment to build a shed is kind of overkill. Building a simple thing that small shouldn't take much more than a hammer and a ladder.

[The Scout]

After recovering from a cold, which wasn't that bad, my mystery illness decides to intervene to kick my ass. Facial rash is all reddish purple, my hands and feet are swollen, overall ache, and some dry heaving/nausea because why not. My parents still think it's some kind of mental disorder. (Schizophrenia, what a laugh.)