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[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

*gives 4maskwolf a high five

[Tiruin]

murdered over the sheer fact that they are trans in the US than any other cause of death, save for suicide. I don't know if you realize just how reviled trans people are in the US and even most of the world. In some countries, it's actually the law to execute someone for being trans.

This is a sad plaguing me for so long--I wonder why they are even being like that towards [this certain people] when there's no wrong in it at all :/
^{I'm pretty glad its not in my country but it kills me everyday to see this happen.}
...Err, my wording may be messy here.
Point is: This is true, and its a reality. It's not a good thing how far interpretations have prejudiced people.

[penguinofhonor]

Gender identity is life or death for some people. I respect trans people not revealing their identity to people when trans people get murdered as much as they do, and I don't approve of putting off people's gender reassignment "for their own good" when trans people commit suicide as much as they do.

[4maskwolf]

*gives 4maskwolf a high five

*high fives Cryxis

Right, sad thread, but I'm too tired and slap-happy to have any sads.

[ShoesandHats]

-snup?-

That's more a reflection on the person who gets the sex change, though, rather than on the concept of a sex change itself. If a post-op transgendered person doesn't tell their significant other about the fact that they weren't always a guy/gal, they're dishonest. That's it. Not all people who get sex changes are dishonest, nor are they transformed into dishonest people. Besides, wouldn't you feel a bit weird about telling someone something like that, especially if it affected the chances that you'd get to know someone better? You couldn't exactly fault someone for lying about that (initially, at least).

Sorry to seem vaguely confrontational, especially after your friend passed away.

Spoiler: Horrible ranty awful rude version (probably don't read this) (click to show/hide)

Um excuse me? Why the fuck should you care what gender your partner was born? I think you really need to sort out your fucking priorities if it really makes that much of a fucking difference. Cisgendered people don't have to tell their partners that they were born with all the correct bits they felt they were supposed to, so why is it so important? You obviously like the person, you find them attractive, so why does the very idea that they used to be a different gender turn you off that fucking much? Does it hurt your poor fucking straight boy mentality that you might be dating/sleeping with someone who at one point in the past was perceived by the general population to be male? How fucking insecure do you have to be in your sexuality to not just accept the person for who they are? This isn't like finding out that this person actually long ago murdered your family and got away with it. This is something far in the past that never affected you in the slightest, and now they have all the looks and parts you prefer so it shouldn't fucking matter.

*Ahem*
Sorry, it's just a subject I have a lot of familiarity with, and if I don't get it off my chest it'll just fester and come up at some inopportune time.
Anyway, the gist of it is: Does it really matter to you that this person was, at one point in their life, perceived by the general population to be male? Does it really matter that this person, at one point in their life, had a penis? Does it really matter that much to you now that none of that applies anymore, and that you like the person for who they are now, and what they look like now? If so, why?
In fact, this is a real question I'm going to pose right now to anyone who feels this way. Why does it matter that someone that you like and find attractive was not assigned at birth the gender they identify as? If it's because it feels dishonest, why does it seem dishonest? Because it's no more dishonest than not telling someone that on their 7th birthday they had to try at least five times to blow out the candles and even then there was just this one last one that wouldn't go out. It's something that happened in the past, and honestly, has no bearing on the current situation besides the fact that their vagina is different. (And, news flash: everyone's vagina is different.)
As to why someone would feel hesitant to disclose that information? Well there are a ton of reasons, but chiefly among them are usually that people tend to become violent and angry when faced with this information, and the person disclosing it tends to get hurt. A trans person is more likely to get murdered over the sheer fact that they are trans in the US than any other cause of death, save for suicide. I don't know if you realize just how reviled trans people are in the US and even most of the world. In some countries, it's actually the law to execute someone for being trans.

In summary, it's really hard being a trans person, and none of us choose it. Some of us aren't really proud of it, and I think it's best to respect that, and not make a huge deal out of it if you like the person how they are now. Trust me, if they managed to keep it from you that long, chances are it won't come up again for a very long while.

Woah, geez! *comically pulls collar to one side with finger*

I'm not saying that anyone should necessarily care about it or that it should really be a big deal in the relationship, but it is a significant event in the life of the person who underwent that process, and as such should be something shared between those two people. At no point did I say it was a choice to be born a different gender than you feel you are, and at no point did I make...hell, I don't even know. I can see you've taken a lot of shit about this in the past and you've had to make this rant to a million other people, and that's 100% cool because people need to be informed about this stuff. I'm sorry if I ruffled any feathers, I didn't mean to do so and I didn't even realize that what I'd said was really controversial (in this forum, at least). I'm almost certain that we would, if we were to outright state our opinions on the subject of this kind of thing, come to the realization that we agree on pretty much everything, but forum posts are not a very effective means of conveying opinions all the time so...yeah.

Basically, even if you've had shitty experiences in your life, you probably shouldn't make assumptions that someone on the internet is a horrible bigoted person just because of a less-than-one-paragraph post on a forum. Sorry. This is, of course, coming from a straight male who hasn't had much trouble with identifying my sexuality or dealing with it, so I don't really know the shit anyone else has been through. Just, uh...sorry. I guess.

I'm gonna hide in a corner now

[Spehss _]

Got a quiz tomorrow I've been procrastinating on studying for.

So, that's cool. Wasted, like, 4 or 5 hours now surfing between B12 and imgur because I'm too tired to do something actually productive more productive but can't go to sleep because I really should be doing that thing I'm not doing and feeling guilty about. And there's other work I really should be doing. Workload is slowly backlogging up.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

Got a quiz tomorrow I've been procrastinating on studying for.

So, that's cool. Wasted, like, 4 or 5 hours now surfing between B12 and imgur because I'm too tired to do something actually productive more productive but can't go to sleep because I really should be doing that thing I'm not doing and feeling guilty about. And there's other work I really should be doing. Workload is slowly backlogging up.

What's the quiz over if you don't mind me asking?

[LordSlowpoke]

three pages and nobody figured that the transsex debate should be moved to another thread?

i had other sads, but now i'd need to go to the rage thread, and raging against forum members is banned there

fucking shit

[4maskwolf]

three pages and nobody figured that the transsex debate should be moved to another thread?

i had other sads, but now i'd need to go to the rage thread, and raging against forum members is banned there

fucking shit

you cans post here.

I think transsex convo is coming to an end.

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

I haven't been acting like a bigote have I?

[4maskwolf]

I haven't been acting like a bigote have I?

You have stated your beliefs and how you would act but acknowledged that others have a right to their own opinions.  I think you have been perfectly fair without compromising what you believe in.

That's just my two cents

[Spehss _]

What's the quiz over if you don't mind me asking?

...PreCalculus. graphs and shiz, at the moment. Everything the class has gone over since the start of the semester. I'm normally decent at math and have taken pre-cal back in my junior year of high school. Taking it again now because I might as well get the required math credit over with for my major. Should be easy, right? Except this is college and the teacher/professor/whatever...is bad. Just. Not a well handled class. She means well but it's her first year teaching, her methods are stale and uninteresting at best, her writing is sloppy and her explanations for everything is textbooky and made indecipherable due to her Engrish way of speaking and sloppy handwriting. It's just all around a poor performance, and I hate saying that because she does mean well.

Doesn't help that my perfectionism is causing extra pressure. Failure to get anything less than an A is a personal failure, making me feel like I should study more to make sure I can do as perfectly as possible, but I'm too tired to try but too stubborn to accept I'm not gonna do it.

[ShoesandHats]

Pretty sure there's a thread for this exact subject (if there's not, I'd be surprised), so it should probably go over there. I just felt like it was relevant to point out the kinda faux pas of saying that something was morally wrong when that person was kinda sorta speaking disparagingly of themselves. Aaand then I felt it necessary to defend myself when Alleecat got understandably angry. So yeah, take it over there.

Except I'd like some sort of confirmation from Alleecat that I'm not an asshole 'cause I kind of feel a bit inconsiderate after that.

[ggamer]

Big-post-san, don't put shit in spoilers if you don't want people to read it. It doesn't matter if you hid a paragraph long aneurysm in spoilers because it's "rude," that demarcation is 900% transparent and it just makes you look like an immature douche. Trust me, i've been on this forum a while, and I have been guilty of that mindset many, many times.

Should we make another thread, I guess?

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

There should be rules about 'if you are an asshole'
Rule 1: If you are reading this because you are worried about being an asshole without anyone intervening, then you aren't an asshole.
Rule 2: If you have honestly apologised about the situation that made you feel like you are an asshole but still have lingering doubts about if you are an asshole, then you aren't an asshole.