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[Bauglir]

This may be unhelpful, but in my experience, most people aren't undetectable or repulsive so much as they are uninteresting to most other people. Especially if you're at all eccentric, your interests probably just don't really align - I have very little to talk about with people at work, for instance, so it's pretty much limited to food and weather (and even in that, half the conversations are about how weird my preferences are). Successfully pursuing a relationship generally means changing who you are from who you were before, anyway. For instance, it's usually more helpful to frame your rationales in terms of what you have to offer, instead of how awesome you are. Your positive qualities, in a vacuum, just make you a good trophy at best.

Plus, most people in most contexts aren't usually looking for romantic partners. Usually it's just acquaintances or friends or coworkers or whatever. This also gets more true the older you get, as people in your cohort increasingly tend to be in long-term relationships already. So basically your odds aren't really great to begin with, if you're relying purely on the ability to attract people.

[Graknorke]

On that conversation, I'm pretty sure I'm being a disappointment to someone.
That feeling is not a good one.

EDIT: Okay never mind I didn't read that post properly. Just the uninteresting part is related.

[Vector]

.

[scrdest]

Warning, mean advice:

Being seen as boring (as a global variable, rather than a local situation) has absolutely nothing to do with whatever it is you are doing in particular, and vastly more to do with your presentation of those particulars. Selling yourself as insane and wise is also going to go nowhere. "I'm so crazy, lol" is probably my least favorite trope from the current generation. Same goes with "I don't understand women and am under thirty, but trust me man, I'm wise." Most of the positive things people say about themselves are really about their performance relative to a particular context. We're all wise in some situations and naive in other situations. A person saying "that person is so wise" is really explaining more about themselves than they are about the person they're describing...

If you want to understand women, make a lot of female friends. I'm a woman who was socialized mostly through spending time with men exclusively, and found women "confusing" and "hard to understand." When I started talking to women more, it turned out that they weren't that alien after all.

That said, no matter what your flaws are you can probably find someone. Just don't obsess about the other person's social status/Positioning In The Hierarchy and you'll probably be fine.

RE: the 'wise' or 'boring' thing... yeah, funny thing about that. It actually does not correlate at all with how much you ACTUALLY know about Stuff (TM), and more in how... well, let's say what role people (subconsciously) assign you.

I'm speaking from experience here - I think I may have mentioned this earlier, but I've people inexplicably go out of their way to peg me as the 'smart guy' - and I neither want nor even can brag here, I've been in the lowest quarter of the people accepted for the college course I'm in, I've failed one of my exams this semester (retaking it in September), and I'm consistently on the 'good but not top' side of the marks. And people. Still. Fucking. Treat me. As if I knew this shit better than them. And then they go and end up with better marks than me.

From what I've read up on and experimented with, a fuckton of that is in the presentation, in the 'how' rather than 'what' of the way you talk. I can only assume that my thing there is due to the fact that when I go into the professor mode (see above, heh), I'm being reeeeeeeaaaaally authoritative, for example.

So, your issues may be more in the fact that what you actually come across is not 'interesting guy' and more 'a guy who is trying to market how >>interesting<< he is' (substitute with any other quality as needed )

The rest of it, I think Vector took care of really nicely above.

[Glloyd]

Not really a sad, but no better place for it. I've been having shooting pains up my right arm and a constant ache in my right wrist for most of the day. I don't know what happened, and it's been making me feel like shit, and a bit nauseous as well. Urgh.

Any trauma to the wrist lately?

Not that I can recall, which is annoying. A good night's sleep took away the shooting pain, but it still aches and is extremely stiff. It also hurts when I try to move it. I'm scheduled to play a show tonight, but I'm really dreading playing guitar with my strumming arm like this.

[scrdest]

Not really a sad, but no better place for it. I've been having shooting pains up my right arm and a constant ache in my right wrist for most of the day. I don't know what happened, and it's been making me feel like shit, and a bit nauseous as well. Urgh.

Any trauma to the wrist lately?

Not that I can recall, which is annoying. A good night's sleep took away the shooting pain, but it still aches and is extremely stiff. It also hurts when I try to move it. I'm scheduled to play a show tonight, but I'm really dreading playing guitar with my strumming arm like this.

From the common stuff, carpal tunnel syndrome, maybe. Or... any bites?

[Tawa]

I finished Lord of Chaos, the 6th WoT book.

Now, my father's copy of the seventh is nowhere to be seen.

[TD1]

I bought them all. Too bad you can't find it, though. 

Maybe try the library?

[Itnetlolor]

Based on what I'm hearing, and my gut instinct. I keep hearing stop everything (EVERY-THING; including from this post on, talking about it), and move on with just being me, and stop worrying.

Simply put, this should not even be an issue in my mind, give myself amnesia if it means removing it forever from my mind as a concept to pursue. Only then will I reach success by sheer luck (Maybe God would help *holding back laughter*. He's useless. I've been asking Him, and my family also provided their prayers, for decades, and I swear my calls are blocked. Get the hint God; this is one avenue why my faith is depleting.); rather than personal pursuit (after nearing triple-digits of consecutive failures, I got the hint). Only then will I accept what comes in.

That's at least the basic translation I've been reliably getting. Only thing I need to get by at this point is my pride. Fortunately, I know how to keep that distracted. I can't defeat it, but I can redirect it to something more useful so it's at least constructive.

EDIT:
Like I initially stated before, I'm socially retarded here, and I didn't get any help my whole life no matter how much I asked. Kinda why I also marked myself as a bit of a hopeless case. Also why my instinct thinks this might work.

[Tawa]

I bought them all. Too bad you can't find it, though. 

Maybe try the library?

Being in the middle of nowhere (see also: The Blight), I don't have one available.

[scrdest]

Social skills are not something you are born with, unless you have an actual physical disability such as autism - and even that, to my knowledge is only an obstacle, not an insurmountable barrier - they are a thing you learn. Yes, it might seem that some people are just naturals but... nope. It's just that you learn from the people around you when you are at a verrrrry young age by default, but that doesn't lock you out of anything.

There's stuff out there, preferably stuff that is actual science by actual scientists with actual figures and actual peer review, because there's also, as per Sturgeon's Law, a ton of utter junk, and a ton of the latter masquerading as the former, but it's out there, books, Internet, what-have-you.

[Vector]

.

[Bauglir]

Based on what I'm hearing, and my gut instinct. I keep hearing stop everything (EVERY-THING; including from this post on, talking about it), and move on with just being me, and stop worrying.

Nah, I think there's a miscommunication. It's perfectly fine to keep caring, to continue wanting this, etc. What you've gotta do, though, is stop feeling as if anybody's denied you something you deserve. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't deserve a happy romance. I'm saying no actual person is particularly responsible for supplying you with one. On some level, you've gotta change yourself in order to be happy. You've either gotta become actually satisfied being single, or you've gotta adjust your perspective to one that'll be more helpful. Spite isn't going to help either of those, really.

Unfortunately, you're in a position where you've got a problem, and maybe you shouldn't be obligated to solve it, but you're the only one who can. From my experience, I can say that a good step is to let yourself love with no expectation of being loved in return. Get comfortable being responsible for your own happiness, but not greedy with it. Don't worry - it's not zero-sum.

[~Neri]

Social skills are not something you are born with, unless you have an actual physical disability such as autism - and even that, to my knowledge is only an obstacle, not an insurmountable barrier - they are a thing you learn. Yes, it might seem that some people are just naturals but... nope. It's just that you learn from the people around you when you are at a verrrrry young age by default, but that doesn't lock you out of anything.

There's stuff out there, preferably stuff that is actual science by actual scientists with actual figures and actual peer review, because there's also, as per Sturgeon's Law, a ton of utter junk, and a ton of the latter masquerading as the former, but it's out there, books, Internet, what-have-you.

To be totally honest, I have to disagree with the statement that there aren't people naturally skilled at them. Yes people learn as they grow and that can play a huge part, but some people simply have a knack for them that was not a result of upbringing. Seeing how I literally cannot remember anything before age 13, and how my parents were physically abusive and neglectful and how I spent most of my teenage years on the internet and not interacting with people out of choice. By your logic I should be utterly inept, however I'm quite the opposite, when I decided to go and interact with people irl, I was a natural. I instinctively knew how to fit into pretty much any situation and talk to anyone. No social anxiety whatsoever either.

There are naturals with everything. It's just how life works. Anyone claiming there aren't naturals is wrong in my opinion.

[scrdest]

Social skills are not something you are born with, unless you have an actual physical disability such as autism - and even that, to my knowledge is only an obstacle, not an insurmountable barrier - they are a thing you learn. Yes, it might seem that some people are just naturals but... nope. It's just that you learn from the people around you when you are at a verrrrry young age by default, but that doesn't lock you out of anything.

There's stuff out there, preferably stuff that is actual science by actual scientists with actual figures and actual peer review, because there's also, as per Sturgeon's Law, a ton of utter junk, and a ton of the latter masquerading as the former, but it's out there, books, Internet, what-have-you.

To be totally honest, I have to disagree with the statement that there aren't people naturally skilled at them. Yes people learn as they grow and that can play a huge part, but some people simply have a knack for them that was not a result of upbringing. Seeing how I literally cannot remember anything before age 13, and how my parents were physically abusive and neglectful and how I spent most of my teenage years on the internet and not interacting with people out of choice. By your logic I should be utterly inept, however I'm quite the opposite, when I decided to go and interact with people irl, I was a natural. I instinctively knew how to fit into pretty much any situation and talk to anyone. No social anxiety whatsoever either.

There are naturals with everything. It's just how life works. Anyone claiming there aren't naturals is wrong in my opinion.

OK, errata: I should make this clear, there are PREDISPOSITIONS. Some people have traits that make it easier for them to learn. Or, conversely and depending on your reference point, things that make it harder. You can hardly be surprised when a guy with slight myopia has a harder time learning to aim that someone with 10/10 vision, or someone with a heart defect to have as easy a time to learn how to run as someone healthy.

Thing number two, it's not upbringing. It's not a thing you're being consciously taught and it's far from restricted to your parents alone. It's subconscious modelling, and it might just be whoever the hell shows up in the vicinity of you during your life.