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[Tiruin]

 
So she knew about it and only did something when someone else noticed it?
That's...wrong. Descan speaks it.
^{Also I hope you're faring well with the scoliosis :x}
Of note, it seems to be--well, the attitude at least--connected to recent notes in that situation. The perception of the 'real man' thing? That's what I'm pondering on. That outlook. It's not normal (as in, there's something skewing it)

[BlackFlyme]

Well, she doesn't like black people. Or asians. Or gays. Or people who don't follow her strict gender roles.

Or people in general.

Nasty things to say about everyone, really. Mostly gays and asians though.

[Tiruin]

*waves at crowd; is Asian*
:v
So...reasons behind that too o_O I'd not like to speak at people behind their backs and such but...were there any explanations about those kinds of prejudices?

[BlackFlyme]

The only thing I can think of is that there may not be as many minorities in Scotland as there are in Canada.

I know from my nan that she had to be sent home from highschool on one of her first days after moving to Canada. It was the first time she saw a black person, and she apparently started freaking out, crying and screaming at the poor person.

[Tiruin]

Reason on why that happened? ._.
I'm concluding a bit but that conclusion I've got is very...well shallow, regarding that.

But anyway: about the problem back there--look at people and talk to them. Try it. Maybe first with someone you trust. Tell them about the situation?

[BlackFlyme]

Apparently the boy's skin colour scared her. That's all I was told.

I don't think I'd really be able to talk about my mom with anyone. My dad's side knows she a bit odd, but I don't think anything good will come of telling them. While I was growing up they mostly tried to avoid or appease her, and with her attempts to keep me away from family, I haven't really had a chance to get close to anyone other than my dad and his parents.

I do have to learn better social skills though. It's not that I haven't been trying, it's just not exactly easy to undo twenty years of learned habits.

[MaximumZero]

Sounds like there's more wrong with her than you. I know it's hard, but change is possible. I was a seething little ball of hatred, refusing to talk to anyone, prone to violent outbursts, and generally avoided by everyone until I started martial arts. Now, I'm a salesman. Part of it is confidence, part of it is practice, part of it is discipline, and the rest is just straight up faking it.

The first step, at least for me, is to convince yourself that it's okay and natural to talk to people, and that they want to talk to you because you're genuinely interesting (they're not just being polite.)

[Tawa]

Your mom sounds nuts, BlackFlyme.

[appropriate show of understanding]

I have the same habit of not looking at people. Probably has something to do with the fact that I didn't really have a lot of friends until about a year ago, causing me to spend most of my time staring down at a book or paper or at a screen. I still have a tendency to only look at people I'm good friends with.

[Frumple]

Your mom sounds nuts, BlackFlyme.

Is. Not sounds. Is. Fairly sure I've noted that a couple times in the past.

BF, you can be pretty much assured: Your mother is flat out batshit insane. If even half of what you've shared is accurate, there is no questioning that. It's important to be aware of this, and be aware of what her insanity-driven actions have done to you over the years, so that you can acknowledge and learn to either work with or around those behaviors, until you can stomp them out entirely, if desirable (which, yes, will almost certainly take years, possibly decades.).

It's good you're recognizing there's issues, and what they are, and to a degree how to deal with them -- you're on the right path to fixing what someone else's actions have done to you. It's going to be a long road, but... that you realize it at all is a good sign. Just... keep at it. Learned behaviors can be unlearned or adjusted, given time and effort. So there's hope and all that.

[BlackFlyme]

Well, I'm at my dad's, so that's a reprieve for a few more months, before school starts.

Not too sure where to go to improve my social skills though. None of my friends are nearby anymore, and I haven't had much luck getting friends in college. Mostly due to lack of trying.

Anyways, it seems today's theme is me accidentally burning myself, as I had forgotten to take my clothes out of the dryer over an hour ago, and it was still going when I took my clothes out just now.

I should go to bed, so I'm not tired at work.

[Frumple]

The mirror thing might work, somewhat. I'd personally suggest seeing if you can find some basic voice training info online and work a little practice in. Something like half of my capacity to communicate (as) well (as I do) with other people comes from light stage training back in elementary school that stuck, leaving an internalized degree of proficiency at voice control. If you can get getting heard down pat and instinctive, it can help a lot.

... most of the rest of it came from reading a lot and years of talking to myself, often loudly. Some vivacious poetry/play stuff, limericks and whatnot. If you can make it fun to talk, just as an activity in isolation, talking to others becomes a little easier, from what I've seen. Not... not the best example of social capability, really. But yeah. Usually when it comes to stuff like this, best practice is to gather up all the advice you can, and then try them all to see what works for you. Time consuming, not easy, but...

[Tiruin]

Try talking to your dad BlackFlyme
Ask feedback!

[BlackFlyme]

It seems a little odd, but I'll try talking out loud. When no-one's in earshot, that is. I get enough flak for talking with people over game-chat or skype, because "it's not right to talk to someone when they aren't right there with you."

Not sure about talking to my dad. Mostly because he works even longer than I do, and when he gets home, he usually just goes straight to sleep.

He works too hard, and sometimes I worry about him.

Off to bed for real this time.

[SalmonGod]

That #9

[WillowLuman]

That #9

Holy shit O_O