Today my ex's roommate just gave me a whole story that I want to slap her. Apparently , she was seeing a guy the last week I was dating her, who is her roommate's ex who's only in for the sex. So this goes on for awhile and her roommate never told me anything. So last week, 9 days exactly (9 is a kind of odd number for me, as I'm Norse and everything works in 3s and 9s quite often) she starts dating another guy and we argued and haven't spoken since (I had no idea she was seeing another guy at this time) and so during that time, she keeps seeing that OTHER guy and her new bf and last night, she breaks up with her new bf (it has been roughly 6 weeks since me and her started dating, 3 weeks since we broke up, and last week was when she started dating this guy) and she ends up getting picked up last night by that other guy. And what happens? Her roommate explodes on me saying this is ALL my fault and that she would have that guy my ex (not confirmed yet) slept with and that me and my ex would still be together.
And the worst part? I cannot fathom myself to lose this girl. I spent the last 9 days hardly eating and drinking anything, never leaving my room and talking to people as little as possible. And then all that grief to find out that everything is my fault? Because I said something stupid (I told her and her roommate that every ex I had cheated on me, this streak apparently continues) and now it's all my fault!? I held back my tears from being upset all day at work, my food tastes like poison and I feel ready to vomit at any moment...
what do I do now? I'm done having relationships... If every girl I get with is just going to cheat on me and use me then why the fuck do I even try? I have no idea what to do, becuSe I can't leave her but I know she's a poison to me... I loved this girl and everyone (our friends, my parents, her dad, both of our grandparents, and even random people we met only one time) say that we look and would be an excellent couple together... It's like if you had this thing you saw was perfect, and everyone else saw it too suddenly turned to Hel in your hands...