Your brain has just gotten used to the effect of the drugs and can function normally with them in your system, while before it was going slightly haywire and making you feel cold or hold your eyes open. It does that with everything, really, that's why you develop tolerance to things like cocaine.
Yeah, I guess that's something to be happy about, when you think about it.
While we're on this subject, I guess I'll post this, I wrote this yesterday and didn't really feel comfortable with posting it here at the time, but I want advice on it.
((Keep in mind that I did write this yesterday, so none of this is towards what anyone has said to me. It's about RL.))
The thing is, when I try to talk to some people about my depression, they usually just say things along the lines of "It's just in your head" and stuff like that.
Well, I tried talking to them about the side effects of the new medicine that I'm taking, and they pretty much acted the exact same way.
They told me that I wasn't going to be feeling side-effects on the first day I take it, and that I'm making a deal out of nothing.
So I told them that when I took a pain medicine a while ago that made me feel really apathetic (enough that the doctor took me off of it) that was just on the first time I took it, I hadn't taken it any time before then.
Well, they replied that that medicine was a pain medicine, and that it's designed to act really fast, while this is an anti-depressant. It's designed to be built up over time, not take effect instantly, so any side-effects I'm feeling must be me over reacting to nothing.
And it's like this with pretty much everything, like people don't want me to feel emotions, or have opinions, or just generally be human. It's like they want me to just be this automaton that acts mindlessly and without individuality. And I've been there before, back when I was a kid, I just shut down all of my emotions, kept everything inside, and just followed orders because I figured that resisting was pointless.
I don't want to go back to that.
I just...
The way people act towards me, it's like they view me as a burden. And anything I do to even distinguish myself as existing is just a hindrance to them. And I do so much for these people, I drive them around because they don't have a car. I take them to the hospital in the middle of the night with no warning, and carry their groceries and everything. It's like they view me like some kind of unpaid taxi driver and servant. Or at least that's how it feels like.
And it feels like I'm betraying them just be saying this, by saying how I feel about it.