I just don't know what to do. I want to know what to do. The ambiguity of life makes every choice seem not only inconsequential, but also meaningless. How can anyone tolerate even living, yet alone living their lives the way they do? I just don't know.
Well, I'm hardly an expert, but I would say that every choice in life is ultimately inconsequential and meaningless, because you have to die someday anyway, and the memory of your existence, let alone your accomplishments, will have mostly or completely faded away within ten or so years unless you're some kind of grand luminary. Life, not being orchestrated by some greater being like it would be in a work of fiction, has no meaning. It's just a bunch of stuff that happens. I've heard it said that everyone's the hero of their own story, which makes life one big MMORPG. It's got its quests, its grinding and its players, who are all going through the same set of locales and facing similar difficulties with their cultivated avatars. The goal of life is to lose yourself in the tedium, the moments of gratification and the mass of fellow players, gaining immaterial and/or mostly worthless things that nonetheless feel kind of good, until you've used up all of the time you have.
Problem is, once you start thinking about it too much, or it stops feeling good for whatever reason (though many are sufficiently addicted to keep going regardless), the whole thing starts to fall apart. That leaves you with the possibility of trying to go about things a different way (self-imposed challenges, going for certain achievements, trying roleplaying and more), looking for alternatives (transcendence, for instance) or for somebody to enable your habit (a new player you brought into the game, somebody who shares your general location, that sort of thing).
I do believe this analogy has been made many times before, but I'm not well-read on that sort of thing. It probably didn't help, either, but I suspect few things aside from venting possibly could.