Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[kaijyuu]

My wife has horrible luck with assholes on the internet. Like, ridiculously so.


When I first moved in I wondered why she was so extremely distrusting of people, especially online. She explained that it was because most people she'd interacted with online (with a few exceptions, like like the small group of friends both she and I are in) treated her like garbage. I was skeptical at first, until she pointed it out to me every time someone was unreasonably hurtful toward her. She got harassment almost weekly while playing some of her favorite games, even when trying to be as invisible as possible. This isn't just "lol u suk" type jerkass behavior either, but "I'll send you hateful messages over and over again despite your attempts to mute me." People going out of their way to spew shit.

I'm not always playing together with her so I can't always be there to white knight her (and ignoring people is often the best response anyway; no need to sink down to other people's level, as it'd just encourage them). Instead I end up holding her in my arms for a half hour or so and yet again reassuring her she's not worthless or dumb, despite what assholes might say.

The most recent example was particularly bad. She asserted to someone that she and women like her should be treated the same as anyone else, and got hit with someone comparing her to the people who abused Alan Turing. She was called a bigot for calling out other people's needless hate. A particularly twisted "you should tolerate intolerance" thing.

I don't know if some people out there are just hate filled sacks of shit, or if they're just naive and don't understand the power of words. I'm optimistic and guessing the latter. "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" is an old lie a lot of people believe, and it's sad.

Thankfully the number of incidents seems to have been going down over time. At least from my perspective... she might be getting more resilient to them and just not telling me when they happen

[GiglameshDespair]

Yeah, people feel free to stay shit over the interent because it's very rare that such things will ever come back to them. Much less would do so if they believed they might get punished for thier actions.

But for all that, hate over the internet is rubbish. It's certainly not something worth getting upset over. It's unpleasant background noise, but something thta can be ignored nonetheless.

[Iceblaster]

I wanted to start my day with some cute kitten photos on Imgur.

Imgur decided otherwise...

Goddamn that's sad... 

I always hate images like these because it reminds me that people elsewhere are traumatized because of either starvation, foreign involvement in issues or just simple war.

I always do hope for a day when we get to a point where everybody is guaranteed food, water and shelter.

[Descan]

And an education.

I can think of a few other things, like basic health care, but aside from that, most people could make the most of their lives with those 4-5 simple things.

[Anvilfolk]

Max: if you have your own place perhaps they could be able to hide there for a while? It's probably really inconvenient, but if worst comes to worst

Also, to all those who are depressed despite there being no reason for it... I've been there, and am there often. My mom's the same, so it's probably genetic, but you can affect it a fair amount. My suggestions would be to start doing something you'd think you'd be proud of, be that exercising, or some creative project, and be careful with the amount of sugar you eat. I feel bad about myself if all I do is play games, and eating too many carbs/sugar also gives me wild mood swings, though mostly towards the lower end of the spectrum.

Doing something new and getting yourself out there is *really* daunting, and you'll want to stop as soon as you start... but if you keep at it for a little while, you'll probably start enjoying it and feeling better.

Another suggestion is getting involved with groups that have the same likes as you. Boardgames, other tabletop games, competitive or cooperative sports, arts... there's groups for a lot of these in a lot of places. Search around!

Hope you all get to feel better...

[kaijyuu]

Yeah, people feel free to stay shit over the interent because it's very rare that such things will ever come back to them. Much less would do so if they believed they might get punished for thier actions.

But for all that, hate over the internet is rubbish. It's certainly not something worth getting upset over. It's unpleasant background noise, but something thta can be ignored nonetheless.

Numerous problems with this attitude:

1) Being emotionally mute is not a positive.
2) You can't dismiss everything as "noise"; creating multiple characters/accounts in a video game to bypass the ignore feature is harassment, for example, and not noise.
3) While ignoring is often the best response, deeming the other person's behavior as acceptable (or even something to be tolerated, with a similar idea as the one behind "boys will be boys") is stupid and counterproductive.
4) There are some things deserving of outright shame and derision, not dismissal as being simply a jerk. Bigotry (of the various -isms and -phobias) has no reason to be tolerated, for example.

[Dutchling]

I'm finding it really hard to imagine how this cyber-bullying thing actually happens in practice.
I mean, I don't doubt what you're saying, but... I guess it's because I hardly ever play online games?

On the other hand I thought the whole screaming/yelling/cursing while playing FPSs online wasn't actually a thing until I got a housemate with an XBOX

[kaijyuu]

It's generally kinda rare, just not for my wife.

What isn't uncommon though indeed the verbal shit some people spew. Also of note, all those slurs become a bit more cutting when they're directed at you; being called a "nigger" is amusing if you're white, not so much if you're black. Same for all the sexuality and such slurs these days.

[wierd]

Uhm... Yeah. Eating lots of fruit or fruit products all at once usually does. Juice is just fruit without the fiber. It's full of sugars, and causes an explosion of bacterial growth.

That's getting into squicky territory though.  Lesson learned I hope.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

I'm finding it really hard to imagine how this cyber-bullying thing actually happens in practice.
I mean, I don't doubt what you're saying, but... I guess it's because I hardly ever play online games?

On the other hand I thought the whole screaming/yelling/cursing while playing FPSs online wasn't actually a thing until I got a housemate with an XBOX

I think the activity happens more on social media like FB, Twitter, email. People build complex social structures and can't extricate themselves. When someone starts bashing them to their friends it can be impossible to stop the person. Muting them doesn't keep them from spreading rumors etc.

Also a lot of people, including a lot of kids and teens, find it hard to ignore personal attacks like that. Just because a person can't reach through the computer and harm you doesn't mean you don't feel threatened. And generally I assume the most severe cases of cyber-bullying are really just traditional bullying over email; the information is transmitted but the threat exists in reality when these people meet at school etc.

[Yoink]

Feeling kind of sick of being me at the moment.
I've had some good moments lately, but there are so many things that depress me about myself and my current situation. I really should make some drastic changes, but of course that's always hard.
I started to ramble on meaninglessly here, but thankfully stopped myself.


Re: internet bullying, I used to play an online shooter with a small group of friends, and the amount of sexist abuse the one female in the group received was ridiculous . She was the sort of person to get quite upset by it, too, so when it happened it certainly put a dampener on our enjoyment of the game.

Oh yeah, you wanna know a really big sad for me right now? I CAN'T FREAKING SLEEP.
That's why I'm writing this doubtless rambly and incoherent post.

[wierd]

I am getting behind on my work.

Last night I had to revise my program YET AGAIN, because the fixture designed by my co-worker specified tapped holes of a bizarre thread size, and left essentially zero room for modification.  This meant I had to revise the location of the bolts in the fixture, meaning I had to revise the program to accommodate the change-- and then fight it again to keep it under the controller limits.

This has been an ongoing nightmare for 2 weeks. This part should have been done in 2 days. I have parts piling up on my desk that I don't think I can get done in time.  This is a nightmare.

I THINK I have it all sorted now. I need to doublecheck that the heads of the new bolts wont collide with a roughing op I have defined-- and then I need to finish making the program for the mill fixture. Still, that feels like a phyric victory. I certainly feel like I have been chewed up, and I sure feel like I have lost lots of blood over it.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Since the rage thread isn't open, this one will have to do.

Find a hunger games minecraft server. Seems good at first, then I look at the kits.

They basically turned minecraft into pay2win

So let me get this straight. They take a game that someone else spent years making. They take a theme and format that other people spent time developing. They might have just tweaked mods that someone else wrote, which run automated rounds. They might have used a map someone else made. Best case scenario they wrote the mod and made the map. They pay for hosting and occasionally come in to watch.

And for that they want people to pay money?

When this kinda thing comes up what I normally say is, "Well, with capitalism there will be some bad deals."

[Helgoland]

Isn't that a pretty accurate depiction of how the Hunger Games work?

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Yeah it's a way to charge for playing. It's disguised, being P2W and not pay to play, but if the people who have kits defeat anyone without kits, it perverts part of the Hunger Games.

So you have two people spot each other 3 minutes into the round. Did one of them pick up a weapon in that time? They're both probably equals but one may be willing to take a risk and attack. But if one of them has a kit and the other doesn't, you're just gonna see the kitted player killing off the unkitted player - even if through luck and superior play the unkitted player found some equipment and the kitted player didn't.

So it's not even P2W, it's just pay to play. Being a winner or in the top tier isn't even a question: you need to pay just so you won't get instantly ganked.

Which is dumb for an admin to expect when he did little to no work in creating the game and that the community expectation is that server play will be free.