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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9699733 times)

scrdest

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67515 on: November 12, 2013, 06:27:52 pm »

I don't know what to say, besides that I am very sorry.

That makes you sound like it was you who ran it over. Also :'(
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67516 on: November 12, 2013, 07:44:24 pm »

Someone I have a long history with deleted me off her facebook.

Well, if that's the way it's going to be, then so be it. I'm not nursing her through her violent boyfriends anymore.
Her regret will come later. It's usually after realization.

Wish her well, though.
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IronTomato

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67517 on: November 12, 2013, 09:06:15 pm »

I don't know what to say, besides that I am very sorry.

That makes you sound like it was you who ran it over. Also :'(
Sorry for that too.

EDIT: Nevermind I'm making it sound like that even more.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67518 on: November 12, 2013, 09:26:19 pm »

I lost fifty quid somewhere in town :/

How much is that in real money?
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67519 on: November 12, 2013, 09:33:57 pm »

I lost fifty quid somewhere in town :/

How much is that in real money?
...are you joking? Quid is a common term - he means 50 pounds sterling.
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SomeStupidGuy

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67520 on: November 12, 2013, 09:40:43 pm »

I lost fifty quid somewhere in town :/

How much is that in real money?
...are you joking? Quid is a common term - he means 50 pounds sterling.
(he was probably joking :P)
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Descan

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67521 on: November 12, 2013, 09:48:18 pm »

Considering Americans call Canadian money Monopoly money (though now that it's about par, I've not heard that), I think he was making a joke about "How much is that in American?"
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67522 on: November 12, 2013, 09:51:46 pm »

I'm glad my stupid jokes need this kind of dissection.
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Elephant Parade

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67523 on: November 12, 2013, 10:52:39 pm »

My basement was flooded recently due to poor indoor plumbing, and while most of my stuff was upstairs, some was still downstairs due to a recent move.

Including a collection of poetry I wrote two years ago for school. I really liked some of my poems, and now they're wrecked.
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Darvi

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67524 on: November 12, 2013, 11:34:24 pm »

'round 80 bucks.
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Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67525 on: November 13, 2013, 12:38:46 am »

This Reddit thread. Not because it's Reddit, or the material's wrong.

It's because the material is right.

I don't want to slap the label of depression on myself for want of pity or attention, knowing full well the folly of self-diagnosis. Yet... Facing it, actually taking a peek at from between fingers clasped over one's eyes, seeing what others have seen in it...

Then there's the little physical things. The records I've collected in anticipation of a record player, the stacks of old books I've shelled out small money each for courtesy of library clearance, the racks of CDs of old computer games, the enormous Steam library, physical months of my life spent being fed images from a computer screen. Everything, all of it, in a race to flee the depression, to pretend life is okay on that little high of buying a new thing. I don't need things. I don't want more things, yet I'll buy them anyways. I know I will. And I don't want to.

I don't want this. I don't want everything to not be okay in my head, but I'm sick and tired of throwing a blanket over the problem and saying, "see, there's nothing wrong, you're being ridiculous," and undermining my own confidence as a result. I've started noticing the strange looks and wry comments when my humor twists too darkly, my mouth run a bit too loosely, and the blanket shifts away from a corner.

I'm sick of fighting myself, too. I feel like crying now. I won't cry. I'd like to, but I'm much too cognizant of the world around me, the expectations it holds for me, and the repercussions of my actions. There is no joy, no relief in self-harm, no peace in annihilation, no point in attempting either. I know better than these things, and that's difficult. They are not outs that I get to take, no predictable answer, and that aches. Knowing aches. I ache.

I've faced the above for so long that I have no point of reference against it. Years of assuming this is how it should be, or telling myself again and again, that it'll get better, believing it every time because there's no other option, no sane choice in the matter.

Yet.

Yet I'm not happy. I'm not at peace, not at ease. I know I'm capable of many things. I've been told I'm brilliant by countless people. I like me, but I am an obstacle, and as things are proceeding now, none of the above will get better.

When does it get better?


Quote
Depressed means, literally, a depressed experience. Emotions are muted, or nonexistent. Interpersonal relationships feel like a waste. Summoning up the effort to accomplish anything becomes more and more difficult. However, never once during that time would I say I was unhappy. I was merely numb, existing because anything else was too much work.


Read this part and just sighed. I've been diagnosed by a doctor with clinical depression, more than once, more than one doctor, but it still... Just doesn't ever sink in. I KNOW that depression is a chemical imbalance in my brain, but I can't... Fix it. The thing is though, nowadays I'm pretty much immune to emotional damage. I'm burnt out. Right now, at this exact moment, I do not think there is a single person on earth that could make me cry. Not even me. Maybe if they punched me in the nose, but that's about it. I can't feel... Anything. I get angry sometimes, in traffic, but even that is more of a halfhearted response than anything else. I've recently tried to get back to dating, but I've just got so much negativity about it, I... Know it's not going to work. Because I'm going to sabotage it. Because I don't want it to work. Because I'm afraid of feeling again. If I let them close, they can hurt me. I'm tired of hurting. I'd rather be dead inside than hurt again.


I don't know how to help you. I just want you to know that I know how you feel.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67526 on: November 13, 2013, 12:49:45 am »

Someone I have a long history with deleted me off her facebook.

Well, if that's the way it's going to be, then so be it. I'm not nursing her through her violent boyfriends anymore.
Her regret will come later. It's usually after realization.

Usually after the realization that yet another abusive boyfriend has successfully cut her off from her support system, in particular.


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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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Tiruin

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67527 on: November 13, 2013, 01:02:45 am »

...[May just be hurting people instead..]
« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 01:35:09 am by Tiruin »
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scrdest

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67528 on: November 13, 2013, 07:43:09 am »

Someone I have a long history with deleted me off her facebook.

Well, if that's the way it's going to be, then so be it. I'm not nursing her through her violent boyfriends anymore.
Her regret will come later. It's usually after realization.

Usually after the realization that yet another abusive boyfriend has successfully cut her off from her support system, in particular.

To be fair, she may be unchangeable. Some people keep getting into bad relationships due to fucked up childhood.
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Skyrunner

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #67529 on: November 13, 2013, 08:11:39 am »

My mom is pressuring me that I need to get at least a partial and at best a full scholarship at a decent uni or I can't go >_< I have extremely low confidence that I'll be able to do that, what with a 3ish gpa and lackluster extracurricular activities list.

(Korea to US)
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