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[MetalSlimeHunt]

The primary reason for this that I have found is that relaxation keeps your mental pathways open, while panic closes off everything to make you focus upon your survival instinct (your brain cannot tell the difference between a critical test and a grizzly bear).

[Pnx]

They were honestly pretty relaxed, it's just they obviously did not have a good understanding of the material to work with. They also weren't retaining the things I was saying very well. This was really stuff that should have been split over several sessions over a longer period of time.

Also I found myself wondering if we shouldn't have gotten some sugary beverages or something into her before we started, the girl's stick thin, and wasn't looking very focused...

[Mr Space Cat]

Depressed. (I don't even know if I am actually psychologically, clinically depressed or if I'm just wrong about that too)

Spoiler: Well shit, a wild wall of text appeared. (click to show/hide)

I'm bummed. My school's prom is this Saturday.

At one point I made a mental decision that I would ask "Dream Girl" to the prom, and break the stupid giant-ass invisible wall of frozen spaghetti that's just sorta hanging between us.

Obviously, I have not done that yet, otherwise I probably wouldn't be making this stupid whiny-ass post.

I have one day to collectively pull my shit together, bite the bullet, tear my head out of my hypothetical anus of self-loathing and leap so far out of my comfort zone I would miss the ground and fly through the stratosphere. I am seriously doubting I can do that; I haven't talked to Dream Girl in four years and why should I break the record I got going? Right? Sure, hypothetically I have nothing to lose by trying to talk to her, but tell that to my brainmeats that keep stopping me.

It wouldn't be so bad if there weren't constantly reminders that there's a gawdammed prom this Saturday and every single happy little socially normal...person, for lack of another nicer word, is talking about it and happily going on and on about what dress they're gonna wear, or how their gonna wear their hair, or who's going with who, or how they're just so happy that there's a prom to go and be all happy and romantic at. (All of my closest friends are going to this thing. All of them. With dates. What the hell's wrong with me compared to them that makes me unsuitable or unworthy for something like this? It's probably my craptastic attitude, I'll interrupt anyone commenting on that.)

Every single time I hear someone mention the word prom part of me dies a little because it reminds me of how utterly I've failed and how much it...hurts me-again for lack of a word-that I've consistently failed this stupid goal of mine to one day actually talk to Dream Girl and get this shit I've been repressing for years out of my chest.

It bugs me how people can be just so nonchalant about this crap. I find it hard to believe anything so simple as simply walking up to a girl and just asking "Derp, wanna go to prom with me?" actually works.

It disgusts me that this actually...hurts me so much like it does, because it seems like such a petty, pathetic shit trouble to be sad about. I thought I was perfectly fine with never talking to Dream Girl or being in any stupid-ass-romantic-relationship (because I'm obviously too "weird" and introverted for that and I'd just completely kfuc it up) but apparently I disagree with myself, and that's just an extra flaw for me to hate myself for.

It's just an extra failure for me to add to my list of failures. The thought of living the rest of my life with these constant regrets like this a bit unpleasant to think about.

It bugs me even more that I'm actually complaining about junk like this, and to an online forum of all things. I feel like a generic dumbass angsty ass teenage emo ass-ass mcbutt (a stereotype which I hate) who has nothing better to do than whine to people, and I can't even whine to people about this in meatspace. That's how pathetic I am. Not that Bay12 is lesser than meatspace, but it bugs me that I'm actually writing this out to post on this forum and take the time of people who I probably will never meet by letting them read whiny ass shit from a whiny ass socially awkward nerd ass shit about relationship shit. Not something like some ass who decided to disembowel a cat for giggles, or the fear of mental decline in old age that is a perfectly legitimate fear, but relationship shit that probably none of you would really care about.

I don't feel like deleting all this crap after writing it, and at least now I feel somewhat better. I still hate that I'm even posting this, that is if I ever get around to hitting the goddamn post button.

It's not like I'm even in that bad of a life, put in perspective. I could be so much worse off in so many ways, yet I continue to give myself crap for petty little reasons.

[Sirus]

Trust me when I say: I've been there and feel your pain. I actually asked the girl I liked out to the prom (after spending well over a week agonizing over it). She turned me down the next day, so I never went to the prom anyway 

Oh, and at that time of my life I actually had been diagnosed with depression and felt like crap for every little thing I did wrong (still do, actually). So might be a good idea to get checked out, if only to start working towards feeling better.

[Vector]

I am... I am really sorry to say this, but you should probably not ask her to the prom the day before the prom, if she wasn't planning on going already.  With the amount of time most girls put into their dresses and makeup and blah blah blah it'll come off a bit... rude, I guess.



Having a PTSD attack.  Can't really work.  Losing time.

[Robot Parade Leader]

You really should not ask a girl to prom the day before.

Nothing at all to do with you, but it's just that timing is everything.

Unless she's already got everything all set out beforehand (unlikely if she wasn't gonna go), then you've got a 90% or greater chance of rejection if you're the average guy.

Everything Vector said.

[Frumple]

... from what I can recall, I didn't even know the prom had happened until, like, a couple days after. I have... I can miss things, sometimes, especially when I'm terribly uninterested/uninvested in them. And even when I was younger (and almost especially so, now) I had a pretty strong disinterest in large-ish social gatherings.

Just... no. Generally not for me. Too noisy. Too many people, too busy ignoring most of each other. Often can't get my back against a wall. Hard to actually talk to people. All the jitter triggers, aiee. And coming down from the headache afterwards is always just kinda' miserable, even moreso than the gathering itself.

Can do it. Have managed, can manage. But they're fucking miserable to suffer through. Just... give me small groups, preferably of people interested in discussion or building something or... whatever. Something involved, fulfilling. Meat on it, y'know? Just not huge, noisy groups "socializing". Bleh. I have walls I could be staring at instead, and it would be more interesting.

[Pnx]

Having a PTSD attack.  Can't really work.  Losing time.

I swear, the amount of times I wished my emotions would at the very least choose more convenient times to be an issue...

[Vector]

Yeah, my brain's grown all these little switches that say "time to freak the fuck out."  And it's kind of funny, because there seem to be things that bother "normal" people a lot more than they bother me, but I've got these switches.

I'm feeling a little bit better upon lying down in bed, though.  I just need to keep distracting myself.

[Pnx]

Use Weavesilk? I could play with it for hours, and I keep coming up with cool stuff, like this thing where when drawing various flower shapes I was accidentally Jewish.

[Putnam]

Bah. No amount of self-reflection will take me out of this deep hole of complacency I've spent 18 years digging myself into.

I don't like being a creature of habit at all.

[Vector]

?

[Sirus]

Dat's cool.

[Pnx]

I have seriously just sat around drawing random shapes for hours. It's a really cool toy.

[SalmonGod]

Spoiler: Cat Story (click to show/hide)

A cat wandered in behind when I pulled into my garage.  I placed it back outside and it would run right back in.  I couldn't shut the garage door, because it would trigger the sensor that would stop it from lowering.  I had to pick it up, close the garage, and then place it outside the front door.  It so desperately wanted to come in.  It sat outside the door meowing for a couple minutes.  It seemed a pretty and very well-mannered cat.  I think it's probably an abandoned pet.  Not roughed up or paranoid enough to be a complete stray, but I did feel bits of matting in its fur.  I would have shown it some hospitality, but my wife is allergic and would be furious

Edit:  An hour later, and it just did the same thing to my neighbor.  She wasn't as nice as I was...  That cat's looking quite dejected now.

So this is a cat that we've caught glimpses of around the neighborhood for over a year, usually at night.  We always assumed it was somebody's pet that they let outside.

I don't think it's being taken care of anymore.  It's been acting desperate all day.  I've never seen it socialize with people before, but today it's been visiting everybody.  After shopping around, it's apparently determined to adopt my family in true DF style.  It's been camped outside our place the last several hours, and takes every opportunity to sneak inside.  It's succeeded twice since I went to work.  Aside from the aggressive intrusion, it's a very polite cat.  It's also de-clawed.

My wife is quite distressed.  Her graduation commencement ceremony is on Sunday, and she doesn't want to be covered in rash from allergies.  It's cleverly recognized her as the person it needs to convince, and is making rapid progress in endearing itself to her.  At this point she's made a compromise with it.  She set up a box with a blanket and some food/water in our garage, and left the garage door open enough for it to slip in & out.  So... we now have a garage cat, and I don't expect that to be the end of it.  This is quite unexpected.