Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[RedKing]

Yeah, that's.....not an ideal way to handle that. (his action, not yours)
I think your text is a good one, it's nonchalant and supportive, and leaves an indication that you expect there to be a "later".

[Erkki]

Got this text message from the guy I am seeing:

"Hey. So, I decided to go to [Australia] for a few weeks. See you soon."

?

I'm ... what? Do you know what kind of things go through a girl's head when you send that out of left field like that? "A few weeks," how long is that? 3? 4? 5? Are you breaking up with me and this is the way you're doing it? What's in Australia anyhow? Hello, yes, I'd like to take a trip to quite literally the other side of the planet. How long? Meh, we'll see.... Huh?

I'm not actually mad, I'm just sorta shocked, and I feel alone/left out information wise. If you're taking a vacation or something, that's cool. I don't even wanna go to be honest (I HATE traveling), but could you tell me about this a lil? Please, pretty please? There's talk of pretty please with a cherry on top if you tell me.... [sigh]

Damn it, I care about you, but I'm too damn proud to say it (also I think I'm showing it, but whatever) .... Do you realize that I would be pretty damn indifferent if most of the world burned but I give a damn about you. Was that a mistake...?

Whatever, I'm going to act mature and as if it doesn't phase me. Maybe I'll respond with something like:

"Neat, have fun, be safe and bring back cool pictures of koalas or kangaroos or crocodile hunters or something to look at later. "

....

Being in the situation I've described above after a 2 year old relationship that I thought was going wonderfully, I may not be the right person to analyze anything... But if I were you, I would try to keep in touch with him.

I claim to have first hand evidence that mens' brains simply arent as complex as womens' when it comes to relationships, be they romantic or any other kind.

The best thing you can do is to act mature. You could also try to encourage him to have fun, and be honest with it. IMHO you are justified to ask about the journey and get some answers. Giving no prior warning whatsoever is pretty rude. But that does not necessarily mean that hes breaking up.

If you want another positive POV, the more you are away from each other the more you want to see again.

[GlyphGryph]

Did he say this after he left? o_O

Obviously you be like 'wut'.

Some people are just like that, though. I'm kind of like that, though I would try to give at least a little bit more notice. I certainly would never have thought to ask my girlfriend at the time if she wanted to go to New Zealand with me when I went, so it's good she said she was coming along since we're now married. But I at least informed her about it in advance.

But how long did HE know about it advance?

[Truean]

I don't want to go with him, I just want to know:

That he's a.) safe, b.) coming back and c.) when he's coming back.

Also come on, just that's a cool conversation waiting to happen....

But yeah, acting mature and not too bothered by it is probably the best tactical way to go [sigh]. You have to realize that from my (and many women's) point of view, what we're asking for, all we're asking for is to be talked to.... It doesn't cost much, if anything, and it's not terribly hard to do....

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's strange, but I've met people like that before. Some just do whatever strikes them without warning.

[Xantalos]

Got driven over by car driven by my father in law and had my 6 month old child taken from me by a mentally and physically very unstable and sick family.

Hows that for sad?

Wait. Wait. Wait.
So they ran you over deliberately and then somehow got legal custody of a baby. After said running over and being mentally and physically unstable.
I am wondering why humans do this. It doesn't seem to make any sense whatsoever.
Best of luck to you.

[10ebbor10]

But yeah, acting mature and not too bothered by it is probably the best tactical way to go [sigh]. You have to realize that from my (and many women's) point of view, what we're asking for, all we're asking for is to be talked to.... It doesn't cost much, if anything, and it's not terribly hard to do....

It's a scientifically proven fact that males will use as few words as they possibly can.

_{Note: Statistical averages are not valid for everybody}

[Erkki]

Got driven over by car driven by my father in law and had my 6 month old child taken from me by a mentally and physically very unstable and sick family.

Hows that for sad?

Wait. Wait. Wait.
So they ran you over deliberately and then somehow got legal custody of a baby. After said running over and being mentally and physically unstable.
I am wondering why humans do this. It doesn't seem to make any sense whatsoever.
Best of luck to you.

Unfortunately no "legal custody" yet - her mom is with her after all. But the other half of the legal custody is mine, but I have no rights to know about my daughters whereabouts. Had a social job woman laugh at me on the phone.

Sad isnt it?

The running over has now been made an official crime report out of it, with some papers from the doctors supporting. My brother was driven over 3 times but the same guy. At no point did anyone step in the front of a moving car, and at no point was either one of us told to step aside. We hung at the engine cowling for a good 50 meters or so.

This world has some people with so fucked up minds...

[Korbac]

Holy shit Erkki. I hope everything turns out okay.

[Ricky]

My computer is telling me my hard drive is about to die and i need to back up everything 

RIP harddrive, you've served me well.

E: Erkki, that must be terrible. Just try to keep positive. I like to think bad people will get whats coming to them eventually, maybe they'll get some too.

[kaijyuu]

I claim to have first hand evidence that mens' brains simply arent as complex as womens' when it comes to relationships, be they romantic or any other kind.

I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but that's a ridiculous thing to say. Change it to women and something men are stereotypically good at (like math), and see how bad it sounds.

The dude's just did something stupid. Whether he has a penis or not is irrelevant to that.

[10ebbor10]

I claim to have first hand evidence that mens' brains simply arent as complex as womens' when it comes to relationships, be they romantic or any other kind.

I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but that's a ridiculous thing to say. Change it to women and something men are stereotypically good at (like math), and see how bad it sounds.

The dude's just did something stupid. Whether he has a penis or not is irrelevant to that.

Actually no. There are real, scientifically/ statistically proven differences between men and women. Most of them don't matter much though.

To list a few:

Men:

Spatial and abstract reasoning
Organising in a simple structure of command. (Often, a group of males will quickly see the establishment of a leader.)

Women:

Language, social skills
More democratic behaviour

Note: This is based on statistical and brain scan research, and as such isn't correct for everyone. Be wary of stereotyping.

[Loud Whispers]

Note: This is based on statistical and brain scan research, and as such isn't correct for everyone. Be wary of stereotyping.

Doesn't this throw in the question of if this is a result of brains that developed with clear environmental influences, or inherent?

...This'd probably be better for the progressive discussion thread or something.

[penguinofhonor]

I have gay friends that would contest any "men aren't complicated" claim quite aggressively.

@ebbor: I don't see why statistic/"brain scan" methods rule out the possibility of learned behavior.

[Graknorke]

Isn't there something like a 70% difference in the amount of connections between the left and right hemispheres of the brain for men and women? I forget which way round it is but I'm pretty sure that it's a thing.