This is my fault. I suck at math because i didnt fight enough to get my sped teachers to realise i was capable of education on my level.
I fucking suck at math. And i hate it too. And now i have figured out that most of the things i want to do requires top grades on top levels of math.
Fuck engimeering or programming. Fuck it all. I would love doing it, but no.
Now my plan is to either flip burgers untill im too old to work, or just smoke something so my schizo breaks out and i can live on state money the rest of my life.
I am not capable of this anymore. Good bye dreams.
Hello reality. Fuck you, but im stuck with you.
Now im becoming that kind of person i have loathed all the time. A lazy, dumb egoistic overweight fuck that lives on other peoples money, work and gratitiousness.
So would something like a math tutor at school be out of the question?
Programming is, in my opinion, more about logic than math. Unless you're programming something math-heavy (like the next version of matlab or something crazy), of course. This is speaking as a professional mainframe assembler programmer. If you're good with logic puzzles (sudoku, tangrams, etc.) that's what'll help more with programming. I ended up taking calculus 1/2/3, numerical analysis, and all sorts of other !!fun!! and advanced math classes getting my bachelor's in CS. I never used that information since, both when getting my master's degree in CS and at my job.
Unfortunately, getting a college degree does require math classes. Maybe look at a technical college? Maybe think about talking to Truean. I'm pretty sure she's had ... things ... to say about the value of college degrees anymore.
Laziness is your own problem, and being egoistic isn't necessarily a terrible thing, IMO.
And if you want to do something about being overweight, you could always go vegan >_>
Realistically, though, the best thing is to exercise with a friend/buddy/partner. I know I read somewhere that if you make an exercise schedule with someone else, you're much more likely to stick to it than if you're doing it by yourself. My own experience would lend weight to that statement.