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[Yoink]

And now I feel pathetic that he's probably gotten laid before I have.

Why do people consider this a metric of life success?

My friend beat me to that milestone, but I moved out before him! Ha!
...I'm not sure which milestone we have to compete for next, though. Finding a job, perhaps? It's on.

[MorleyDev]

Sex just strikes me as awkward and unpleasant, the ugliest parts of the human body interacting in an ugly way.

[Xantalos]

Sex just strikes me as awkward and unpleasant, the ugliest parts of the human body interacting in an ugly way.

Same, at least for the act itself. The feelings behind it are a different story.

[Kedly]

It's all very strange. I always considered sex to be an expression of love between two people, but apparently its more like video games to everyone else. :/

^-- This --^

I can get as much sexual gratification as I need with masturbation, sex for me is about the intimacy, and not as much about the sexual gratification. After sex snuggles are a must

[Trapezohedron]

Sex just strikes me as awkward and unpleasant, the ugliest parts of the human body interacting in an ugly way.

Thought I was the only one who thinks of this as that.

[Xantalos]

Sex just strikes me as awkward and unpleasant, the ugliest parts of the human body interacting in an ugly way.

Thought I was the only one who thinks of this as that.

Not even close.

[crazysheep]

Sex just strikes me as awkward and unpleasant, the ugliest parts of the human body interacting in an ugly way.

Thought I was the only one who thinks of this as that.

wait wut?

[Kedly]

Bay 12, the only place I've been to where I feel normal by comparison O.o (I meant that in a "You guys are wonderfully different" sense, rather than a "Holy F*** your weird" sense)

[King DZA]

Sadly, in most cases, I can't help but view sex as anything more than peoples' weak, disgusting, animalistic attempt at attaining physical pleasure. Same with masturbation. Though I do like reminding myself of the fact that many individuals still blindly strive to partake in it whenever I start feeling too equal to everyone else.

[Kedly]

I don't see the problem with attaining physical pleasure?

[King DZA]

Neither do I, in moderation. Though more often than not it seems like it is practically an individual's sole motivation for living.

[Xantalos]

Neither do I, in moderation. Though more often than not it seems like it is practically an individual's sole motivation for living.

Which makes me sadraeg more often than not.

[Kedly]

Yeah ok I see your point xD

[GlyphGryph]

For me it's not so much getting laid as finding a wife and raising a family.

That is actually the whole reason I am not out looking for a girlfriend right now.

This seems remarkably, confusingly, counter-productive, I just wanted to say. "I just want x, and that is why I am avoiding looking for x" Weird.

Actually, you're all kind of weird. Nothing wrong with some conscientious hedonism. Not every body gets their greatest pleasures from sex, of course, but I don't see a problem with those who do. Hedonism seems like a better motivation than blind faith, acquisition, or an impossible, longing desire to attain increased social status when compared to those in proximity, which I think cover the vast majority of dominant motivations (aside from achievement seeking, which can be good or bad, honestly).

Sadly, in most cases, I can't help but view sex as anything more than peoples' weak, disgusting, animalistic attempt at attaining physical pleasure.

Well, durr, that's what makes it so fun! Well, at least for the disgusting and animalistic part. I'm not sure I'm following the "weak" bit. I mean, most of us are here thanks to a video game, and by any definition of "weakness" where it becomes integral to the concept of sex, video games seems like they'd blow right past and take the crowning spot.

Anyway, all this makes me sad because apparently getting married is NOT a gateway to frequent sex and I've honestly been way too busy/lazy to respond to my okCupid methods to have a chance of supplementing the frequency. Bluh.

[JoshuaFH]

I feel kind of pathetic recently in knowing that my cousin is entering highschool and has a cute girlfriend.

This is the cousin I've known, quite literally, from the day he was born. I held him in my arms when he was just a baby and watched him grow up through the years. And now I feel pathetic that he's probably gotten laid before I have.

Time to go fall asleep feeling bad about myself. Again.

I didn't realize my little sad comment would steer the conversation in this direction. I guess I'll try elaborating on my sad a bit more.

I suppose the way I said it was far too simplistic, it's not that "The acquisition of sex = success" aspect, it's more of me just obsessing over feeling like the society's black sheep, and feeling that I can't get the kind of intimacy I want. Not even sex, just intimacy would be great, but it feels like I'm stuck in place.

There's an implicit assertion in my mind, that the value of my life is approximately equal to those things I have, those things I have experienced, and the remaining time I have left alive. I don't know where that thought's going, but it's the closest way I can communicate that gut feeling.

And there's another feeling, like the quality of my mind is deteriorating gradually. I'm only 23, but I felt really feeble when I was struggling with some really basic math recently. I used to really love math, I mean, I was never anywhere close to like college level math, but I just haven't thought about it in forever, and when I really needed to figure out the dimensions of something I was desperately grasping at straws and frantically googling simple math equations. I want to improve my life, but all too often it feels like life is already over for me. That I had my chance and it was squandered in the throes of my depression years ago.

Well, this is all alot of sad hubbub when life for me is actually kind of picking up. I suspect that I'll be getting a job soon. Not a great job, just a cashier or a customer service guy, things'll be different when I have an income, maybe. I just want to get over this feeling, I want the feeling that I can still make something of my life. That I'm not just some naively pathetic individual holding onto an unattainable dream. That I'm not simply hurting myself by being both desirous while not having the ability to ever fulfill those desires.

I keep telling myself to keep handling things one day at a time, that trying to change everything all at once will simply overwhelm me and make it feel impossible in my mind, so I just have to handle it one day at a time. That circles back around to the implicit assertion earlier, that by being so comfortable waiting, the value of my life is sloping downward, so I have to act fast if I want to make the most of things. Then I feel panicked on the inside and here I am again, in the sad thread.

EDIT: I also frequently feel invisible.