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[Kagus]

I think I might be flirting with alcoholism.

It's not that I drink a lot, in fact I drink very little in comparison to most other people in this country.  It's when and why I drink that worries me.

Like right now.  I just sat through another 4 hour+ session of attempting to get something patched together in my study group so we can deliver a finished product that will net us a pass on the exam.  This is accomplished only by fighting through bloody, screaming, torturous resistance from the one colossal dung-filled scrotum who insists on getting everything his way and acts like a spoiled little child whenever anyone attempts to challenge his views.  Which tends to be quite often, because his views are fucking stupid and nonsensical.

This happens 2-3 times a week, after which I don't feel like doing anything other than hopping on the next train home and just trying to think enough happy thoughts to keep me going through the hour commute before I'm back in my own little pigsty and can slam down a couple slugs of vodka straight from the bottle (does the heavy lifting), and then pouring myself a sipper of Irish cream to calm down with.  And this vodka is really quite bad.

Even on a normal day, when I'm making dinner I'll often find myself slavering over the beer I'll have alongside it.  Now, I actually happen to enjoy beer on its own merits, and drink non-alcoholic when applicable.  But this seems like a far deeper, needier desire than just being thirsty for one's preferred chilled beverage.  It's a craving.


Maybe it's more that it's just a symbol that the day is over and I can relax and throw away my responsibilities for a short while...  Last semester I was stressed out and depressed after taking an exam, and as soon as I came home I got myself drunk.  It was 2 in the afternoon, and I was ready to shitcan the rest of the day.  I just didn't want to think about anything, and the alcohol helps.  Sometimes.


Other times, I wonder if I'm actually trying to become an alcoholic.  I think some part of me thinks that it would actually provide some small measure of purpose or 'meaning' to my life, as I'd at least have *some* sort of driving force.  I'd have something to do, something to identify myself with, something that I actually cared about at all.

I don't know.  I don't really want to think about it.  I might bring it up with my shrink tomorrow, but I don't know if I consider it "real" enough to actually bring up.  And I've got enough stuff that's been building up, I don't know if I'd even have time for it.

Cheers.

[Loud Whispers]

My hamsters died brutally, they were starving because mother promised to feed them week ago and she didnt, so one hamster killed another and ate it, then died itself. It was sad to find one hamster literally chopped in half and second dead next to it.

That's horrifying D:

What the hell D:

[Darvi]

Two out of three of my gerbils ended up having their brains eaten when they died (and the last one naturally didn't because there wasn't anybody left to eat it's brain). I suspect that they have long since risen from the grave.

[FearfulJesuit]

It's funny, in a very Far Side-esque way...

[SalmonGod]

My house developed a horrible flea infestation shortly after I got a hamster, when I was like 10 or 11.  That poor hamster got literally eaten alive.

[Vorthon]

Speaking of pets dieing, my guinea pig seems to be on her last legs. She ignores her food dish when I give her fresh food, and she's barely drinking any water. She just kind sits huddled in one corner of her cage. Hell, she's hasn't even made that high-pitched shrieking squeal she used to make in the past several days. She may have been annoying, but dammit, I don't want her to die on me now.

[Yoink]

Oh gods. Kill me now. Just realised I'm supposed to go to work tomorrow.
At least I only have two days left and then never again. Never.

I wish I didn't have to wake up.
I find it worrying that getting hit by a bus on the way to my job seems preferable to, you know, doing my job. Then I wouldn't have to work today or tomorrow.

@Darvi: Not exactly... Kinda... Wait, shit. Isn't it a trope to get killed a day before retirement?! D: I'm actually quitting! Don't take me, I'm quitting! Arrrgh!

[Frumple]

That annoying period of time when you're impeccably tired, but it's too late to take a nap and too early to go to sleep. It's giving me a headache. I'd really like to take a nap, but even an hour's doze would leave me staying awake 'till something unworkable in the morning and going to sleep would have me waking up at like midnight (and then being fairly exhausted by sunrise). Gots stuff to do tomorrow

Sleep being necessary royally sucks. I wanna' leave myself on for a few years like I do my computers, and trade in for a new model when doing that melts important hardware. Damnit transhumanism, hurry up.

[Descan]

I'm WORKING ON IT.

Don't rush me, unless you want to be a toaster! D:<

[Darvi]

Hey I am cool. I am a member of the B12 community and play mafia and stuff.

[alway]

That annoying period of time when you're impeccably tired, but it's too late to take a nap and too early to go to sleep. It's giving me a headache. I'd really like to take a nap, but even an hour's doze would leave me staying awake 'till something unworkable in the morning and going to sleep would have me waking up at like midnight (and then being fairly exhausted by sunrise). Gots stuff to do tomorrow

Sleep being necessary royally sucks. I wanna' leave myself on for a few years like I do my computers, and trade in for a new model when doing that melts important hardware. Damnit transhumanism, hurry up.

Heh, sleep is complicated enough and ingrained enough in how our minds work that even after you can put a human mind into an android, you will still probably need sleep for another several design iterations. Putting a human mind in a silicon substrate is one thing; re-engineering a big part of how it works without invoking negative consequences is another entirely.

[Frumple]

Hence the "hurry up" part. Though, being fair, I'd be content if the negative consequences of going without were merely less than the negative consequences of sleep.

In any case, buggerit, taking nap. To the seventy Sven hells with it.

[Descan]

* Descan turns Frump into a toaster.

[Darvi]

Dammit I should be kept away from people!

[Loud Whispers]

PUT ME AWAY ALREADY!