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[cganya]

Honestly, the only good part of that dream was the penguin and THE VOICE OF DOOM.
Unfortunately, THE VOICE OF DOOM was not the penguin.

HERESY! the DOOMGUY has no voice!

[Aqizzar]

The people who said they'd help teach me social skills in a friendly environment decided that patronization and treating me as though I'm retarded would be a better course of action, should I happen to screw up and miss a social cue.  Psychologists can't help me out, either, because my skills are too poor and specialists only want to work with children (oh, and my parents haven't been told about my diagnosis because they don't believe the particular disorder exists).  Doesn't help that, should I end up needing anti-depressants or some other sort of medication, my parents will just yell at me more and try to scare me out of it.

Slowly, I've transformed from an intelligent young woman with a bright future to a dullard, who has been routinely abused for so long that she doesn't know what a good relationship--of any sort--looks like.  I'm not going to say that none of this was my fault.  I'm a hard person to get along with, and I guess I'm pretty weird, too.  I've been doing my best, though, and others have been intentionally cruel to me.  Nonstop.  Some have been kind, as well, but by and large I've mostly been beaten up by life to the point where I really can't move forward anymore.  I can't go anywhere but straight down.

I don't want to pry too hard, because I know how difficult it is to talk about these kinds of things.  Maybe you've even gone over this in detail before elsewhere.  But... just what is the issue?  You seem to have no problem discussing serious issues openly and having easy, friendly relationships with people you can't see.  I ask in all honesty of course.  As crass as it seems, I'm sure the lack of emotional baggage must help, you know people want to help you.  Leaving aside the obvious problem of your parents; as many times as I'm sure people have told you before, you need to find a way to live your life without them pressuring you and putting their neuroses in your way (going by your past descriptions of them).

As for the staring thing; speaking from my own extensive experience with social anxiety, have you considered that maybe you're imaging most of the staring?  Even if it's true, and I'm sure some of it is or you wouldn't notice, if you can already consider yourself so unconcerned (if ruefully) with other people's attention, is it possible to just ignore it?  A stupid suggestion I know, but it did work for me, along with moving into an environment where I wasn't so out of place.  Just not being self-conscious all the time does make you approachable in a way I can't really explain.  Not to mention, the hair thing might be worth looking at.  Not to turn this into the "Things that made you creepy today thread.", but I find long hair attractive, and I know I'm not alone.

[RAM]

Dream sequences are very confusing.
THE VOICE OF DOOM.

I CAN DREAM FOREVER....
                              -Urist McSleepy, 243 McNoble 0BC(Before Cleansing((of noble's quarters)))

HERESY! the DOOMGUY has no voice!

Didn't the DOOMGUY make a sort of happy grunting/humming sound upon finding a big gun?

[cganya]

Dream sequences are very confusing.
THE VOICE OF DOOM.

I CAN DREAM FOREVER....
                              -Urist McSleepy, 243 McNoble 0BC(Before Cleansing((of noble's quarters)))

HERESY! the DOOMGUY has no voice!

Didn't the DOOMGUY make a sort of happy grunting/humming sound upon finding a big gun?

iirc all he ever did was smile from ear to ear when you pick up a new weapon/berserk pack or do the glowing eyes thing when invincible.

It was duke nukem, and the other two guys (the ninja guy and the undead guy from blood) who said stuff when you picked things up.

I always enjoyed picking up a new weapon or berserk pack when in the lowest tier of health. That red smile made doomguy so badass when he proceeded to shove his new weapon down the throats of hell's demons.

[ein]

I think I burned my finger dipping it into a candle to cap it with wax.
First degree though, so it'll clear up quickly.

[Cthulhu]

Hot wax is good for your skin.

I burnt myself a few days ago.  Brushed the back of my hand against the heating element of my oven.  Third time I've done it, same exact place on my hand every time, same exact shiny oval-shaped spot.

[ein]

Hot wax is good for your skin?
No wonder I never have hangnails and crap on my index fingers.
I should melt up my big bowl of wax and dip my hands into it.
Partly because the stuff seems to be good for you and partly because it feels good.
I have high pain tolerance, except for knives.
Can't handle knives.

[Lord Dakoth]

-stuff

-moar stuff-

Novel advice, Aquizzar. Vector, something that I find helpful whenever I'm in an awkward social situation or trying to integrate into a new group of people is to just be the quiet observer for a while. Just watching other people interact will help you feel what is considered normal behavior. I mean, don't be the person who never talks, just limit yourself to short, polite responses at first. Once you observe a group of people, you can find out what is the norm for that one particular group. Once you interact with a few different groups, you can sort of average it out to get a feel for what society expects as normal.

If you're just "there" in a group for a while, even if you don't participate in their conversations a lot, they will just slowly accept you, making it easier on you when you start actively interacting with them. Oh yes, and smile often. If someone makes a joke, no matter how stupid, smile. It will help you feel more relaxed around people and make them more accepting of you.

That being said, I think you just need a little more confidence. I don't think that most people are as judgmental as you seem to think. From the infrequent interactions I've had with you, you seem like a perfectly normal human being who is capable of carrying a decent conversation. Just be more confident, more loose, and it's okay to be weird.

[Cheddarius]

The paint washed off my GKC sweatshirt.
Maybe because I painted it not on fabric, but on a design printed on the fabric. Or maybe because I didn't turn it inside out when washing. Or maybe because it hadn't dried for 72 hours.

I'll do the latter two this time, and hope it comes out right.

[Footkerchief]

It's because you painted a friggin sweatshirt.  That's not what paint is for!

[Armok]

Vector, my offer to talk to me still stands. I will (hopefully, probably) do none of those things, and might be able to help you in some ways. (And don't worry, I'm not saying this just because I want to use you as a sentient pocket calculator. )

[Hippoman]

Listening to the Super Smash Bros. Soundtrack CD I have.

[Cheddarius]

It's because you painted a friggin sweatshirt.  That's not what paint is for!

I used special fabric paint. It's for painting fabric!

[Aqizzar]

Okay, I just filed a Moderator Report, my second ever, on Armok for uselessly and hollowly bumping a long-dead joke thread that I specifically said not to bump.  He even quoted (poorly) me saying not to bump it.

Armok ol' buddy, it's gettin' sad.

[White Kitteh]

Borrowed a copy of The Wall from my sister. At least, That's what I THOUGHT was in there.
What I really got was Dora the Explorer: Dance to the Rescue.