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[Reudh]

@The people who responded to my rant:

Whether this girl of loose morals (I say loose morals because it seemed fitting) is 'swinging', cheating or not, the fact remains that that behaviour is immature and that I won't have a bar of it.

As for my ex girlfriend, I suppose you are all right. I probably won't have to 'rewrite all I know about relationships' but it's still going to be strange.

Also the girl I like said she's bisexual. I don't find that strange, I find the fact that I thought her to be uber-conservative to begin with strange.

[GlyphGryph]

Whether this girl of loose morals (I say loose morals because it seemed fitting) is 'swinging', cheating or not, the fact remains that that behaviour is immature and that I won't have a bar of it.

Okay, she may well be exhibiting immature behaviour, but having a boyfriend is not immature behaviour. Nor is being potentially interested in you, for that matter. But obviously you know her better than we do, so whatever. However, since you refer to "that behaviour", in particular, being immature, I'm gonna have to say - depends on the reasons. Otherwise its no more immature than than dating in general, if a bit more strange for most.

Fuck, even cheating isn't "immature", though I certainly consider it wrong.

Also the girl I like said she's bisexual. I don't find that strange, I find the fact that I thought her to be uber-conservative to begin with strange.

Heh, just remember that a person can compartmentalize stuff like that. It is possible to be incredibly off the wall in one way and uber-conservative in all the others. But hey, at least you've still got a chance, right? Even if the competition pool is increased a bit...

[Reudh]

I try to be a noble, good person...

That behaviour I referred to was the flirting (very, very forward flirting) then the sudden 'OH I HAVE A BF GOTTA GO SEE HIM BYE'.

As for the girl I like, yeah, the only problem I see with that is increased competition.
I only plan to ask her out once I've started work, because otherwise... what's the point?

[GlyphGryph]

She could have just really liked flirting then. Maybe it's because I come from a theatre background, but everyone flirts, hardcore, pretty much constantly, whether they have legitimate interest or not. For some people, flirting is just fun, you know?

However, assuming its legitimate interest, I've seen the "honest flirting followed by menton of boyfriend before needing to leave" thing, specifically as a sort of "testing the waters" kind of action. If the person is still amenable to flirting in the future, now that you've made clear both your interest and your relationship status, then you're good to go, and if they don't want to talk again (or end up disgusted), you can not worry as much about it and you've already given yourself an excuse to extricate.

I honestly never know how to bring it up, in person, myself, so if you have a more mature way than "express interest through flirting, reveal existing relationship status, hope other part is receptive" I'm open to ideas.

I only plan to ask her out once I've started work, because otherwise... what's the point?

No comprende. Wait until you no longer have as much free time, lack the ability to do late night movie marathons and other sort of sleepovers, no more daytime walks in the park... why, exactly!?

[Reudh]

Because my bank account holds precisely $1.10 in it at the moment. How is one meant to have a night out with a girl if one has no money? Not to mention, having no money in a relationship is stressful, no?


I come from a theatre background too, Glyph. (Five years stage theatre. Could probably find a video on youtube of one of my performances.)

[RedKing]

How is one meant to have a night out with a girl if one has no money?

C'mon, that's like the best way in the world to impress somebody. There's always free places to go, things to see, etc. Make a couple of sandwiches or something ahead of time, and then wow her by spending time together without the distraction of a pricetag.

Seriously, hella bunch of romance points.

[GlyphGryph]

Man, then you should totally be familiar with flirting for fun!

And terrible, terrible RL drama, of course. That may have just been the people I ran with though, and thankfully managed to avoid that myself. (as a tech guy, I was only peripherally  involved in most of that stuff) ...sigh, actors... such terrible judgement, as a general rule. The conclusion a person draws from "I am deathly allergic to peanuts" and "these are delicious looking peanut butter brownies" should not be "so I'll only have one".

I'm getting a bit off topic here. I'd actually love to see a performance!

Also, good point about the money thing, I plum forgot about that. Of course, I never had any money, I just made my girlfriends buy everything for me, but that is wrong. Or went with the above-mentioned free past-times. Watching movies at her house. Cooking her delicious meals (at her house, with the food she bought).

That last one is actually REALLY popular, I've found. Cooking ladies food. Even if I managed to burn the pasta I was boiling to the point that there were flames I had to put out on our first date...

[Nadaka]

I can confirm that part, girls love it when a you can cook.

[GlyphGryph]

In my experience, you don't even need to be ABLE to cook. Just trying to will impress a good number of them!
(being good at it, or so hilariously bad that it becomes enjoyable as a disaster, are definitely helpful)

[Reudh]

Man, then you should totally be familiar with flirting for fun!

And terrible, terrible RL drama, of course. That may have just been the people I ran with though, and thankfully managed to avoid that myself. (as a tech guy, I was only peripherally  involved in most of that stuff) ...sigh, actors... such terrible judgement, as a general rule. The conclusion a person draws from "I am deathly allergic to peanuts" and "these are delicious looking peanut butter brownies" should not be "so I'll only have one".

I'm getting a bit off topic here. I'd actually love to see a performance!

Also, good point about the money thing, I plum forgot about that. Of course, I never had any money, I just made my girlfriends buy everything for me, but that is wrong. Or went with the above-mentioned free past-times. Watching movies at her house. Cooking her delicious meals (at her house, with the food she bought).

That last one is actually REALLY popular, I've found. Cooking ladies food. Even if I managed to burn the pasta I was boiling to the point that there were flames I had to put out on our first date...

@Glyph: I *am* totally familiar with flirting for fun! It's just that text does not transmit intentions very well.

@Redking:
I guess. I'm just sorta not sure at the moment. Plus at the moment i have a shit-ton of uni work, but after exams I'm free for a good month. Hoorah! Then the fun begins.

And I'm a passable cook anyway!

[Nadaka]

Dude... being an a university student without a job is entirely acceptable as dating material (particularly most of the girls you will meet on campus).

[GlyphGryph]

Cooking is, oddly enough, something I've found less likely to impress guys.

This... may just be the guys I've spent time with though. I should probably try it more often now that I'm in a new place and see how it works.

God damn, how did I convince my girlfriend to marry me... our first date (at my place, rather than hers) was in an unheated New England house in the dead of winter, where I burnt something that was cooking in boiling water, with no television or internet.

Of course, that left us without a lot to do and the only warm place in the house as the room with wall to wall mattresses and piles of blankets...

On a more SAD THREAD note, I keep spending my first two hours of every morning basically crying over the fact that I need to go to work, and I don't know why.

[Truean]

One of the most awesome guys I dated was flat broke in college. Free museum lead to awesome, quiet, but snarky conversation after a show in the park (during well lit hours). Ending in some art gallery opening with cheese and wine sample things in some rich district on the east side. He was a perfect gentleman without acting weird about it or noticeably different. He was just nice and not just trying to get in my pants. It was fun; it felt (and was) safe but not boring. He made me laugh just by being himself.

[Descan]

Yeah, I'd have no problem having a date without money. WELL, a BIT of a problem. Mostly transit issues, and the security of having money for a taxi if I need it. Tangental, nevermind!

MY problem is, and my sad, is that I can't get a date! Online dating doesn't help, I mean I met The Boy online but that seems to be a fluke after 9 months. :/ And I have seriously -no- gaydar, even if that was a thing. Which I'm pretty sure it's not. :? I don't exactly live in the best town for asking semi-random guys I just met "Hey, you wanna go out?" without getting one in the teeth, and of my gay friends, none of them live in-city.

WOE IS ME I CANNOT GET SOME. :C

[GlyphGryph]

Go to the gay bar.