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[RedKing]

"Are you saved?"

Add "Remember, ctrl+s is your friend".

"Jesus Saves! He leaves the puck for Moses, who parts the defenders at the red line, no-look pass to Buddha, he shoots, he SCORES!"

[Jopax]

Screw mood swings, I feel like a god damned pregnant woman. One day I'm all gung ho set on being awesome and actually being content with stuff while the next morning sees me turn into a black pit of black despair. Then the afternoon is great again before turning into shit by nightfall.

It has no damn rhyme or reason, it's like someone is just randomly pressing my buttons to see what they do, BUT THERE ARE NO DAMN BUTTONS!!!!

[Descan]

Oh myyyyyy.

[RedKing]

It's damn near impossible to get a decent pork chop anymore. They've bred most of the fat out of domestic pigs, which makes for healthier bacon, sausage, etc. but it means your average pork chop turns into a block of near-leather unless you marinate it for days.

[Jopax]

While being nice to look at western pork isn't all that appealing really, not when you have homegrown pigs and their fat tasty tasty bacon. Heck, certain areas here have a custom of the whole family (and more) gathering in early/late autumn just to slaughter the pigs and make them into delicious stuff like blood sausages, regular sausages, bacon, steaks, ribs, other parts of the pig intended for smoking and of course to take all the excess fat, cut it up and boil it (it's either oil or water, can't remember exactly what). This produces enough (depending on the number of pigs murdered) meat products to keep most of the family going trough winter.

And this isn't some skinny bacon stuff or the like, it's high powered high fat food that keeps a man alive and kicking trough the worst of weather.

tl;dr

Now I am hungry :<

[RedKing]

We get all our pork locally, but the problem is that the major breeds of hog themselves have been leaned down so that even organic, free-range pork has low fat content. There's a handful of farms in the US that are trying to breed "heirloom" hogs to get back to that older, higher fat content type of hog but it's crazy expensive and tends to all wind up in fancy restaurants at this point.

[kaenneth]

There's also people that those kind of bugs seem to actively AVOID for whatever reason.

Come on you stupid bugs, is my blood really that distasteful? I don't know if I should consider it insulting or not! I can't just ask them!

Do you smoke? I've read tobacco smoke drives mosquitoes away.

[Cthulhu]

I think mosquitos might just not like certain people.  I think the first time I was bitten by a mosquito was when I was like 13 or 14, and I used to go out in mosquito-type places all the time.  They just never bit me.

[Leafsnail]

Clearly I just have the most nutritious blood ever.  If only I could've use that as consolation when I was developing huge lumps from sandfly bites.

[Darvi]

There's also people that those kind of bugs seem to actively AVOID for whatever reason.

Come on you stupid bugs, is my blood really that distasteful? I don't know if I should consider it insulting or not! I can't just ask them!

Do you smoke? I've read tobacco smoke drives mosquitoes away.

Afaik she does, so that could explain it... it would sure as heck explain why I'm the only person here to be bitten (and it surely has nothing to do with my keeping the windows open).

[RedKing]

When I was in China, the other white people were getting devoured alive by tiger mosquitoes. I think I had two bites the entire time I was there.

According to a number of sources, mosquitoes choose their host based on carbon dioxide, "organic substances produced by the host", humidity, optical recognition and a number of other factors.

I do tend to have kind of oily skin, and can lose POUNDS of sweat once I start sweating. Perhaps my "organic substances" were too funky even for mosquitoes. 

Obviously the next step is to collect my sweat and market it as a mosquito repellant (and everything-else repellant).

[Nadaka]

My fathers father was a farmer in Michigan, had a few acres of garlic.

He said he would pull up a garlic plant every day and eat it fresh from the cow poop.

He said that it kept the mosquitoes away, that they never bothered him.

It worked on his wife too.

[Willfor]

My fathers father was a farmer in Michigan, had a few acres of garlic.

He said he would pull up a garlic plant every day and eat it fresh from the cow poop.

He said that it kept the mosquitoes away, that they never bothered him.

It worked on his wife too.

Generally works on people too.

Both my father and I seem especially tasty to fleas. They leave my brother and mother alone, but a flea will jump off a dog to eat either of us.

[Nadaka]

My fathers father was a farmer in Michigan, had a few acres of garlic.

He said he would pull up a garlic plant every day and eat it fresh from the cow poop.

He said that it kept the mosquitoes away, that they never bothered him.

It worked on his wife too.

Generally works on people too.
...

That was the joke.

[Angel Of Death]

Depressed mother and not enough money to buy food.