Now, if you could just find 124 lawyers to back you up that were just as good and just as independent, you would blow them out of the water forever.
I wonder if 124 trustworthy lawyers exist.
I do appreciate it though, honestly. [hug]
I have an idea. Let's attend law school graduations and kidnap 20% of the class at random. They will then be subjected to a multi-day maze, with no supplies, filled with assholes both figurative and literal, each doing its damnedest to destroy utterly the hopes and dreams of the participants, with the promise of being made partner in some prestigious firm awaiting them at the end. Those who reach the exit without committing suicide or (provably) having committed murder will be promptly hired as assistant clerks; those who give you a blank look of the, "Are you fucking kidding me?" variety and walk out will later be sought out for legitimate employment. Those who attempt to bring litigation against you, not for the kidnapping or the emotional torture, but for breach of verbal contract, and win the case, will be considered for partner when they have demonstrated general competence as well.
This would actually be better than what they do now.
[rant]
The problem is, they don't teach you
skill sets in law school: practically nothing. I mean they don't teach you how to get bail or CSR (Court Supervised Release), they don't teach you how to start a corporation, or incorporate anyone in any form really. They don't teach you how to write a will or a trust or a pour-over will, or a power of attorney, or how to get on your elderly client's bank/utility accounts to pay their bills when they can't. They don't teach you how to probate a will, or deal with that court at all. They don't teach you how to do a dissolution, or a divorce or a custody arrangement (shared parenting), or a modification of spousal support, or a temporary support order while litigation is pending. They don't even mention the word "garnishment" or "bank sweep" or anything about collections. They don't teach workman's compensation, or really how to actually file a bankruptcy. (You glance over the forms maybe once if you take that class). They don't even teach you how to handle an IOLTA account which is vital to dealing with funds from or for clients. They don't show you how to manage a law office or keep records. They don't teach you how to draft a deed, or a lease or a real estate purchase agreement, or a mortgage, or a mortgage release form. They don't teach you how to do title work. <--- I learned all of this basically on my own or at work. Basically, law school is nothing but an expensive hoop to jump through. I learned law in spite of it and by skipping class to read in the law library. [/rant]
[super rant]
Then they basically pretend to help you find a job, but of course they don't care and just want to look like they do. Gotta sucker in the next freshman class somehow, right?
I've got two new law graduates who begged me to let them come following me around like lapdogs at trial to at least witness some actual legal work. They have never seen a motion to ... basically do anything. They didn't even know you had to notify the prosecution if you were going to submit an alibi.... They don't know the procedure for offering, authenticating, and effectively using evidence exhibits. Whether you go to jail or not will one day be in their hands or the hands of those like him, who have paid to be educated, but were not educated.
My first instruction, "Repeat after me, 'I will forget everything they taught me in law school, fuck them....' What are you waiting for, say it.... Good, now let me teach you about pre sentencing and adult probationary systems, like post release control. Come on, walk and talk at the same time...."
I occasionally go back to that school and professors sometimes make the mistake of asking me how I am. My response, "Still wishing you'd croak, but I see my prayers have regretfully not been answered to date.... [snaps a picture of their face on cell phone] I don't care...." The professors will either learn to not breath in the same general direction as me or continue to be berated and I'm ok with either. [/super rant]
In other news, remember how I wanted to charge a
low monthly fee for a true retainer (doing whatever legal work came around for the client basically) and
how I had a test case with one client to see if it'd work? I'm winning. Opposing counsel in that case is threatening to report me to the bar for doing this: something about "unethical fees." This is insane. I charged my client $720 for a whole year's services (including this trial, a will update and a traffic matter) and he charged his over $12,000 for litigating this lawsuit alone. MY fees are unethical?
I charged her in a year what he charges in less than 2 hours. (though admittedly I shall have to raise the amount charged or something to make the math add up if I do end up doing this more).
He'll say it's the FORM rather than the AMOUNT of the fees that is at issue: that earned on receipt fees are disfavored, as are "true retainers" (due to them having a shady past with unethical attorneys). This is true, but disfavored does not mean disallowed. Quite frankly, I believe I'll win any challenge he throws at me, but doing so is exhausting and being reported to the bar for any reason sucks. In the meantime, the one year representation contract is soon to expire and I am cautious to renew it with this threat hanging over my head, though i will have to until this trial is over at least. She understands why. My client is very happy, has had good results, has paid but a fraction of what the other side has for more services than it received, and yet I shall be called upon the carpet? No good deed goes unpunished...?
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9699699 times)