We've been 'working' on it for 2 weeks, but I actually started it about half an hour ago. I just finished.
It's probably the most half-assed thing I've ever written. 1.5 pages, 700 words. The plot ends spontaneously. There is no real resolution.
I put zero effort into it, but I finished it. I'm going to read it to the class tomorrow and hand it in and I fully expect to pass.
Why does this make me sad? Because I can somehow manage to get a passing grade with such a piece of utter trash. It's horrible, but I'm going to get a good mark on it.
Why am I allowed to get away with something like this? How can I just coast through a two-week assignment in half an hour and pass in something I'm unsatisfied with?
I wish, for once, someone would just tell me that I'm completely and utterly wrong, that what I've written is garbage, that my answers are terrible or that I need to work harder.
Instead, I'm greeted with, "Wow, nice job!" or, "This is excellent!"
My work may be good enough to pass the class, but it's not good enough to satisfy myself. I always say that I'll work harder next time, that I'll do something really great, but when it makes no difference in the end, what's the point?
At the beginning of the year, I wrote a story I was immensely proud of. I worked for hours, rewriting the entire thing several times. I was given a 98%, but the grade wasn't what mattered. I genuinely enjoyed writing and reading it.
The next assignment's premise was boring. I wasn't engaged in it and only spent about 3 hours writing. Once I finished the second draft, I just wanted to get it finished. Clearing up the typos, I printed it out and handed it in the next day. A week later, I got my mark. 99%.
What? That would imply I improved. That would imply that somehow, those emotionless blurbs I churned out were superior to my earlier work. I hadn't even tried, yet I improved.
Now we've arrived at where I am now. I'm sure I could work what I have into a decent story if I spent an hour more on it, but I'm not going to. I want to know whether something as half-assed as this will net me a good mark. I'm silently hoping that it doesn't. If it does, then it'd essentially be the same as saying that all of my earlier effort on prior assignments was a waste. The time I dedicated was simply tossed away.
If I get a mark higher than 80%, I'm going to lose all faith in my teachers.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9480132 times)