I feel ye there Truean.
Because my friend is pretty, smart, actualy single, but smoked pot yesterday with some dirty smelly hipsters, which makes me real sad.
Because I'm an idiot who cares about the wrong things.
I know smoking pot isn't the end of the world, fuck, I'm in college, 15% of everyone I talk to (specially the art students) smoke pot, it just so happens that most of them are massive failures. Life gave me a real bad view of drugs in general, including pot. I know one awesome and successful doctor that does smoke pot, but he's considerably above the general people as a person. Its not like I don't think my friend is awesome and above average, but he's been washing dishes for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week for a while now, I'm just scared of what his life might look like in a few years, and it makes me real mad that I can't do anything but try to talk to him, I'm not his parents (and his parents are real reasonable medical degree tier people, who probably think having an apartment will infuse him with some shred of maturity) I have no power beyond friendship, I can't force him to do anything.
And you know whats even more unfair? He's the only guy I find interesting. College is a fucking desert full of ugly idiots and the guys that actualy look decent are the massively flamboyant kind I have trouble being around because they expect me to act the same way. I don't mind some feminine traces, hell, I love those things, but being so flamboyant you make kurt from glee look manly isn't bearable. I'm a handicapped gay, lacking lisp and flamboyant-ness (mostly).
Sometimes I feel like an idiot for actualy caring, but I just do, because I'm an idiot.