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[MaximumZero]

I hear chemistry jokes can be really base sometimes.

[Criptfeind]

I made a joke about chemistry at school way back.... Didn't get a Reaction...

...

I love you Neyvn.

[Lord Shonus]

I hear chemistry jokes can be really base sometimes.

A lot of them have an acidic sense of humor.

[MonkeyHead]

Did you hear about all the noble gases? They are gone!

[mr. macduggan]

I'm going to have to kill all of these chemistry jokes and barium deep in the ground.

[Pnx]

You know, chemistry might have gone a lot further if George IV wasn't such a limiting reagent.

Note: this is something I just made up.

[scriver]

...This has truly become the sad thread.

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

I'd say a good chemistry joke, but the good ones argon.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

You guys are boron me now.

[Tellemurius]

fail on the chemistry jokes.

[Nadaka]

The neighbors in my parents/sisters house are having a very loud party and it is giving me a headache, may cut holiday vacation short from it.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

By unfortunate chance it fell upon me today to inform a kind old lady of her friend's recent and unforeseen death.

And to be honest, I really like my gifts, but today has just been....kind of unpleasant, mood wise.

And my grandmother was very pushy and annoying about giving my father and I a ton of food that we made clear that we don't want and have no intention of eating.

And my oldest and first dog will probably be put down tomorrow, so that doesn't really help matters.


....this has been a very depressing Christmas, in retrospect.

[Truean]

I just hate people who put the word "just" in front of things and believe that makes them simple.

"Well it's just _______."

All of my relatives not only want free legal advice, but they want it to confirm worthless, incorrect shit they have read on the internet, because that just has to be true no matter what I say.... How fucking stupid are people? I spent YEARS studying law and practicing it. If it was so simple that you could put it into a soundbite sentence, then why would I and every other lawyer do that?

Even worse than the outright bullshit online is the half truth and mischaracterization. Ohio is one of four U.S. states with Dowery still in effect for state planning (likes wills and crap when you die).

Stupid relative after asking me a legal question like it was simple and being explained to that it wasn't: "But, I read on the internet dowery ends on death."
Me: "Whose death? The surviving spouse's death, the one who dies last.... You thought it was the first spouse to die that ended the dower right. That defeats the entire purpose of it as a traditional, dating back to medieval times, way to make sure the widow was taken care of AFTER her husband died.... That doesn't even mention the Pre Nuptial Agreement in play here, or the fact that it was signed 10 years ago and they've sense done things like commingle or mix their property together, especially bank accounts. This is yet another reason those online wills don't work. I don't have any of that paperwork in front of me, at all, so I can't begin to answer that "
Stupid relative: "Look, I just wanna know what happens to his stuff when he dies."
Me: "You will have long sense stopped expecting an answer from me, because you only hear what you wanna hear, don't listen and ask the same question repeatedly after hearing the answer because you think that'll change it. It won't."

[MaximumZero]

"Well, it's just that I usually get paid for consulting like this..."

[Pnx]

"Well, it's just that I usually get paid for consulting like this..."

Except if you say that they throw it in your face.

People really seem to have a hard time understanding that lawyers are paid to be navigators of the law, and it's not exactly as simple as pointing someone in the direction of the nearest safe haven, and even if you could teach them to navigate there themselves, a ship's crew isn't exactly fond of having someone untrained at the helm.