The Onion at its acerbic, satirical best. Not so much "ha ha" funny as "ha haaawww shit."
Ugh, this article reminded me of something. A highly educated and informed friend of mine (with a strong Economics background) has asserted that, in order for 1st World Countries to continue to enjoy their 1st world status, they need to destabilize other regions that could become powerful, or control strategic resources or locations. Yes, the Middle East is poised on top of a good deal of oil, which is a key strategic resource for the world's industry, but the region still sits on the gateway between Europe, Africa, and Asia. A unified Mid-East could rise to considerable power, as a hub of trade for the entire Eastern Hemisphere... and if the 1st world is to continue enjoying taking advantage of their resources for the unfair prices they've come to expect, they need to prevent any force from unifying the region- military, religious, or otherwise.
One person's prosperity comes as a result of keeping someone else impoverished. In the theater of the world, the EU, America, and China need to keep the Mid-East from finding peace and stability, and it's strategically beneficial to us to keep the region in a state of conflict. It's an incredibly ugly thing, and I hate that it happens, but I can see why 1st World Leaders would want to keep the nations of the region destabilized and war-torn.