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Heart disease, some fun shit right there, i don't mind it much mostly as i can drop/control my heart rate in a minute (this dealing with Hypertension and high blood pressure) but when it strikes its a evil bitch.
You like being alone but are trying to reach out to others, well buddy the only thing i could say is choose very damn well and wait as long as you want until you are comfortable of calling the person a friend. Even then its not a failsafe as most of my friends changed in high school and fucking blew me off but they at least provided some mental relief with the time i spent with them.
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I've only had associates, no friends. Well, I guess I had one for awhile, but he ended up being peer pressured into no longer talking to me. I can't actually hold it against him, which I find very odd concidering just how easy it is for me to hate things. I doubt I could ever find a real friend lol, or sustain a friendship from my end. I am just too different from everyone else, and not in a endearing way.
Might as well get it checked out for the fun of it. I mean, if you don't care about living then you gotta put some thought into death, right? Or, y'know, just think that you should continue having a hold on life just because you can and it's better than being dead. That, and just accepting that you should try to get the most out of your existence is usually what keeps me from switching my 3 sugars in my coffee with rat poison.
Existing just to exist is something I've thought about before, but that line of thought simply doesn't work for me.
Well, I've given some thought to my earlier goals I talked about. Gaining confidence shouldn't be too hard. I should just be able to force myself into that one. I could always wear large coats and sunglasses as a psychological crutch for awhile. The one I think I'll have the most trouble with is finding purpose in my existence. I would be more then happy to take up my old one again. I would have to deal with the initial cause of my depression though. Which, cliche as it is, was losing faith in humanity. I don't really see that happening though.
On the subject of my possibly faulty heart... Is it possible to be stressed out enough for stress to cause these issues? I've never panicked bad enough to cause myself pain before so I doubt thats the case. Would be nice to know if it a possibility though.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9791851 times)