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[fqllve]

I'm not sure why I've decided to air my most personal business over the internet but I feel like I just need to say all this to someone. Surely this will come back and bite me in the ass someday but whatever, we can deal with that when we come to it.

Spoilered for text wall, also modesty.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My best friend recently moved to California leaving behind his longtime girlfriend who he'd been having problems with while not ending the relationship. He's been there two months and all he's really accomplished are various feats of partying which seems like a regression in his personality. What he told his girlfriend was that he was going out there to get his life on track so that she could follow him out later, but in confidence, maybe a month before he announced his intentions to her, he told me that he was just not really dealing well with the relationship and wanted to get away from everything.

His girlfriend and I have always been pretty good friends. We were all roommates for over a year and got along well. But after a couple weeks of him being out there she and I started to hang out more and more and we've been getting really close. We've been hanging out together, having hours long conversations, going to her various poetry functions, and recently we took a trip to the beach. Basically, I'm falling for her and I'm even starting to miss her company when she's not around.

I feel like I'm getting entangled in a horrible situation that can only end badly. I don't want to lose my best friend even though I think he's been making some poor decisions recently. I also don't want to jeopardize my friendship with her either because it's something I've come to value immensely. However, I feel like the attraction is mutual and my only solace in that is that she is unlikely to act on it because of her relationship and because I always maintain a facade of romantic unavailability towards everyone. But even that bothers me because I really feel like I have to pursue something with her or I'll regret it.

I know what I have to do, which is whatever feels natural, whatever feels right. But I don't know what that is and I won't until the situation happens, so I've been really fretting over this for the past few weeks. I've spent a lot of time trying to avoid this kind of drama but I guess that no matter how much you pretend otherwise you're always emotionally susceptible. I'm in the weird position of hating everything about this situation and yet feeling like it all had to happen and being glad for it.

[Lysabild]

The alarming frequency which people seem to joke about rape, but oh no! Because it's such a fucking hilarious topic..

Being a victim of what I call self-caused rape(complicated and not a thing I like talking too much about) I find great comfort in jokes about rape, it's all about the contect and not the subject. In the right contexts, everything can be funny.

You do realize there are serious implications to the mind on those type of discussions?

You're gonna have to explain that in some other way because it makes no sense no matter how many times I read it.

I can't explain it that well, in psychology terms the brain starts to "slow down" during these conversations. Its a hidden discussion and im trying to dig it up right now.

Still don't get it, anyway I have a math test to fail in 17 minutes, have fun being sad guys.

fakeedit: 16 minutes.

[Tellemurius]

Still don't get it, anyway I have a math test to fail in 17 minutes, have fun being sad guys.

Really? are you that desensitized to say that here?

[Blargityblarg]

Still don't get it, anyway I have a math test to fail in 17 minutes, have fun being sad guys.

Really? are you that desensitized to say that here?

You still aren't chilling, man. Not everything is an attack, and not every attack is directed at you. Just let the waves of indifference lap over you...

[Gunner-Chan]

Tellemurius, turn around. Stand up. Walk over to your bed. And go to sleep.

We all aren't talking about you. We all aren't attacking you. But you instantly assuming that repeatedly is getting obnoxious.

[Tellemurius]

Still don't get it, anyway I have a math test to fail in 17 minutes, have fun being sad guys.

Really? are you that desensitized to say that here?

You still aren't chilling, man. Not everything is an attack, and not every attack is directed at you. Just let the waves of indifference lap over you...

I know it wasn't directed towards me, just not a great place to say that in a place where depressed people try to get some solace.

moments later.....
God damn zune, you even fail from static discharge.

[Blargityblarg]

The sad thread is for all sads; from 'ehh, have to mow the lawn' to 'SWEET JESUS MY ENTIRE FAMILY AND ALL MY WORLDLY POSSESSIONS ARE ON FIRE ;_;'

I guess what I'm trying to ask is this: Why so serious?

[Vertigon]

Fuck. Ninja'd before I even knew what I was going to post. Agreed, though: this is the sad thread. It is for sads. It's safe to assume the people in here are being sad. Well, I'm just kind of screwing around, but most people here are sad.

[CoughDrop]

I'm not sure why I've decided to air my most personal business over the internet but I feel like I just need to say all this to someone. Surely this will come back and bite me in the ass someday but whatever, we can deal with that when we come to it.

Spoilered for text wall, also modesty.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My best friend recently moved to California leaving behind his longtime girlfriend who he'd been having problems with while not ending the relationship. He's been there two months and all he's really accomplished are various feats of partying which seems like a regression in his personality. What he told his girlfriend was that he was going out there to get his life on track so that she could follow him out later, but in confidence, maybe a month before he announced his intentions to her, he told me that he was just not really dealing well with the relationship and wanted to get away from everything.

His girlfriend and I have always been pretty good friends. We were all roommates for over a year and got along well. But after a couple weeks of him being out there she and I started to hang out more and more and we've been getting really close. We've been hanging out together, having hours long conversations, going to her various poetry functions, and recently we took a trip to the beach. Basically, I'm falling for her and I'm even starting to miss her company when she's not around.

I feel like I'm getting entangled in a horrible situation that can only end badly. I don't want to lose my best friend even though I think he's been making some poor decisions recently. I also don't want to jeopardize my friendship with her either because it's something I've come to value immensely. However, I feel like the attraction is mutual and my only solace in that is that she is unlikely to act on it because of her relationship and because I always maintain a facade of romantic unavailability towards everyone. But even that bothers me because I really feel like I have to pursue something with her or I'll regret it.

I know what I have to do, which is whatever feels natural, whatever feels right. But I don't know what that is and I won't until the situation happens, so I've been really fretting over this for the past few weeks. I've spent a lot of time trying to avoid this kind of drama but I guess that no matter how much you pretend otherwise you're always emotionally susceptible. I'm in the weird position of hating everything about this situation and yet feeling like it all had to happen and being glad for it.

It's your friend's fault for leaving her behind in the first place. I don't know this guy's personality, but perhaps you should try explaining the situation to him.

[ein]

Ye gods I loathe the American education system.
I suppose I could rant about it, but blarg, I suck at ranting.
Land o' the free, eh?

[Tellemurius]

Ye gods I loathe the American education system.
I suppose I could rant about it, but blarg, I suck at ranting.
Land o' the free, eh?

*calmed now*
Wait for college, such a big difference (good one) compared to high school.

[Duke 2.0]

 Still makes it a terrible system. You don't even need to go in depth with it to know what's wrong.

 And huh, didn't know you were that old. Thought you were in your twenties.

[fqllve]

It's your friend's fault for leaving her behind in the first place. I don't know this guy's personality, but perhaps you should try explaining the situation to him.

Maybe it's his fault but I'm not sure he even considered this a possibility considering my espoused stance that "Relationships are something I'm in no position to deal with." Hell, I wouldn't be that surprised to find out he thinks I'm gay.

I probably should explain the situation to him but I'm not really looking forward to this all coming out into the open and that would only precipitate it. I hadn't even considered that option, since I'm not really good with conversations at that level of awkwardness, but it seems like the best chance for this all to have an amicable resolution. Even if I feel there's an element of self-sabotage in it.

[SalmonGod]

Ye gods I loathe the American education system.
I suppose I could rant about it, but blarg, I suck at ranting.
Land o' the free, eh?

*calmed now*
Wait for college, such a big difference (good one) compared to high school.

College is better education, but still has massive issues... mainly financial.  Massive investment for what's worth the same as a high school diploma was 30 years ago.

[Something Evil]

Even if I feel there's an element of self-sabotage in it.

Not really that much of a sabotage considering their relationship was already strained and he admitted he moved to put some distance between the two of them.
Don't worry about it so much, and if you really do like her, by all means go ahead and let things develop for another week or so. Then ask her about her thoughts on her current relationship and go from there.