Bleugh. Got back two major test scores, of 71 and 69. The later one I spent a weekend studying for. Now normally this would only mildly bother me but not get me too down, but as usual I started to remember my fathers advice as I reflected on how the tests went. such as how I was totally clueless as to how to solte something and eventually figured it ou-"NEVER assume! You ALWAYS do things in your head that are not right that you try to justify but isn't what the professor wants." Alright, I'll try to study a bit mo-"You never take this seriously. This is serious! You always go about doing nothing to prepare and then just blow it off. This is serious. You are not taking this seriously. I can't believe you would do nothing to prepare. This is serious stuff." Still, I can do be-"And now you'll flunk! You will flunk. You have failed and there is nothing you can do now."
All of those quotes have been ingrained in my mind now from overuse.
And I like to take a Vector-like stance on Math too. When I understand what is going on or suddenly figure out the solution it's the best feeling ever. It's all the bullshit surrounding it that always drags me down. My dad, the professor, my own randomly missing something that will bite me in the ass later, questions adding elements that were never explained in their interaction with the rest of the question. Quizzes and tests consisting of like three questions made to be as difficult as possible. My own mental block of this online homework, never remembering to get it done. And my dad giving me crap for each and every one of these, making all of them twice as bad.