I confess, I don't get it. I don't understand the emotional value of trying to stay emotionally (as in beyond just friends) connected to someone you're not actually going to have a relationship with. To me, something like that has almost no value because it's a temporary boost at best and a cause for sadness at worst. "Being wanted" doesn't really mean anything without "being had" to me. But I guess everyone is wired different. All I know is it keeps this perpetual state of ambiguity alive and I don't like it.
For me it's a more pragmatic thing. Staying connected with ppl is emotionally taxing and I know more people than I can actually stay in constant contact with. So I only keep in touch with people I expect to actually interact with on a day to day basis
I've just learned that "actions matter, not words" through all this. Some people really do say things with no real emotional intelligence to understand what they're doing, internally or externally to the person they're interacting with. When someone says "I wanna see more of you" and then you send them a picture and don't hear back from them for a week, and this is the pattern of every interaction, after a certain point you start feeling like either they're too afraid of hurting you to just let go (which when point blank asked they said they aren't), or manipulating you for some emotional payoff on their end. Whether they're aware of it or not. At this point I feel like it's "phew, I reached out and said something sweet, now I'm off the hook for a while for feeling bad about the whole thing." If that's the case I'd rather be left alone to remember what it's like being alone, instead of constantly plucking at the scab.
90% of all my friends group do this to each other, even to me. Regularly promising to meet up then never show. Promising to call back then never do. Always telling each other they had a great time but then privately saying they had a shit time. They've got some kind of weird culture thing where you never ask a question if you don't already know the answer is yes, but no exists for a reason. Does my fucking head in because you have to solve the da vinci code just to figure out answers to basic shit.
"I know you said don't make any assumptions but I didn't know what assumptions I could make" - real fucking quote
"wouldn't you not say that I couldn't not be any less clearer than I am currently?"
"m8 that was like five negatives there's no way you did that by accident"
"
it's a simple yes or no answer"
"I don't know which one means yes and which one means no. But you are not clear" - real fucking quotes
Fehhh 
tbh I keep seeing these stories and relating to the women. that's probably not great
Aren't emotions this tricky for everyone?
(No, I know lots of men and women who are much more honest with themselves and others about who they want or don't)
I always keep a few principles in mind
-know yourself. Knowing yourself always vital in everything
-Make a decision and stick to it. Almost all life decisions are viable if you stick to one of them. But switching back and forth is impractical and tortures yourself. Applies to more than just relationships
Author
Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9748685 times)