I've been feeling pretty anxious recently due to political stuff, but there's been a growing uneasiness unrelated to that. Total cabin fever. I chat with strangers, but that's serious and distant. I have a few people who like to send me music, but they're getting depressed as well... the 3-4 of us are drinking too much.
I'm sitting here trying to feel sleepy and just obsessing over the first properly seasoned meal I've had in two weeks. Visiting a taco truck. They had cow tongue (lengua) on the menu, but unsurprisingly they were out, so I had my quesadillas with chorizo instead. And verde sauce on the side salad.
I keep thinking about it. Not really the food, though it was... mmm, onions and green peppers with a proper mix of spices. Okay yes the food. But also just the interaction with the person. In person.
I need to call each of my parents tomorrow. But more generally, this suuuuuucks and I'm getting sick of being curled in a ball.
(It did feel good to walk though, and catch some pokémans. ...poképeople? oh FRICK pretend I didn't say that, but I'll leave it.)
Edit: Like it started with him taking my order before I was ready, but I wasn't sure I could make myself heard over the running generator, so I held up a finger. And he understood. And that's such a human connection - frick I'm tearing up. I've been tearing up over the weirdest stuff lately. That's why I'm posting this, I apparently really need to cry and I don't exactly know why. I happen to see a reply to my comment on some video and suddenly I'm hit with an emotional wave and tears are flowing uncontrollably. I'm too dignified to wail but they're flowing now just from me remembering it.
So uh yeah, sometimes people fill up on emotions and need to cry them out.
Edit2: I keep waking up to Discord beeps from notified channels because I need to be constantly reminded that other people are out there.
Edit3: Obviously he could hear me over the generator, but with my amplified and already significant social anxiety I didn't feel I could express "I'm not ready to order" clearly while distracted by the grating sound, working against both my voice and my ability to think.