Well, uh... Good morning, thread.
What happened, Kagus?
So, this requires a little backstory...
Last year I decided to try and "get back out there" after breaking up with my ex, and I was at a place I don't generally frequent (because it's a cramped and awful sportsbar) when I caught the eyes of a gal sitting at the bar getting slobbered on by the usual sausage fest of clientele.
This gal, let's call her Sally, seemed pretty nice and open, so we started talking. And flirting. Not even subtle shit; I showed her an old picture of myself (without the beard) and she declared it "Very fuckable".
The conversation got pretty heavy pretty quickly, and I started talking a bit about my old exes and some of my other notable dating experiences, and she talked about her battle with anorexia and how when she first moved here the very first time she felt comfortable enough to go out on the town she ended up getting drugged and having her keys stolen. So... Yeah.
I felt we were hitting it off fairly well, but she said that she wouldn't be able to stay too long because she was just waiting there for her friend to arrive and then they'd head off somewhere else. That's all good, short but sweet, it'd been a nice convo... Then as the night dragged on, she mentioned that her friend was late and so she sent a message off asking what was up.
Very shortly after that, she swiveled around on her stool and grabbed a dude that was going back outside after having been in the restrooms. They exchanged a few words, then he went out and she turned to me and exclaimed "What a coincidence! That's the guy I was talking about!"... I'm not entirely sure how it's a
coincidence meeting someone you were waiting for and had agreed to meet at that location, even sending a reminder that you're there and waiting... But okay. Coincidence.
I figure our night together is over and get ready to bid her a pleasant adieu, when she invites me along to sit at their table outside. Uh... Okay? Sure.
Sitting down at the table I see that it's just her, her gentleman caller, and his two buddies. It was a
teensy bit awkward getting dragged into that, but we managed to work things out and talk about rock and concerts and such. The night continued, I ran errands back and forth to the bar because she'd had a fair amount to drink and wanted some water, eventually the two extra buddies had to call it a night and head home.
Around that time, the bar started closing up. Again, I figure the night's over. Sally pipes up and asks both of us "So! Where to now?", and I just kind of dumbly respond that the only nearby place that's open is one of my normal haunts. So we all pick up and, well, Sally forth.
Getting to the new location, we set our stuff down at a corner table and I ask her if she'd like another glass of water. She says she's ready for a 1664 blanc, and I go over to the bar to order drinks. Since it's one of my usual places, I get caught up talking shit with the bartenders for a little bit, but I remember that I've got drinks on the line so I cut it short and carry everything back to the table...
...where I meet the image of Sally sitting with her hand deep in the crotch of her "friend's" jeans.
Okilly dokilly, not what I was expecting... Guess I'd drastically misread the signs. Oh well, chalk it up and move on, eh?
Her friend got up and excused himself to the bathroom, and Sally reaches over to me and says "Tell me what's on your mind, and be honest!". I tell her that I was a little bit disappointed with having misled myself again. She exclaims "Oh no, no no no no... That didn't mean anything! It's just that I've had a few drinks, and people do dumb things they don't mean when they're drunk!"
I tell her not to worry about it, that it's fine and she has nothing to apologize for on my behalf... After all, heh, it's nothing I'm not used to!
...yeah, that didn't go over well. Because saying that compared her to my other dating experiences, which have been as interesting as they were unpleasant. She didn't particularly care for that.
"That's unfair, that's really unfair! That's so mean of you to say, and I don't deserve that kind of treatment!", and of course by this point I'm drunk too so I start apologizing to her for upsetting her by my being upset at her behavior... Yeah.
The night ends kind of jankily after that, but she gives me a big hug and reiterates that it "Didn't mean anything", while telling me that she really wants to have me in her life and that we need to grab a coffee sometime. I explain that I'm just about to fly to Poland for a week, but that I'd let her know when I was getting back and we could see about something then. "Please do", she says, and then disappears into the night along with her "friend".
The Poland trip comes and goes, I fire off a message to her saying that I'm back in town for the weekend, and if we shouldn't grab that coffee she'd talked about. "Yeah, yeah! But not this weekend, because there's a family thing and then she's going to see her brother, and later in the week is kinda tricky because she's heading off to Sweden with a friend but she wasn't sure which day that was going to be, so...", and I tell her that's fine and to just get back to me when she's got time for it.
A couple weeks go by and I've heard diddly from her. I figure she's probably just dropped me but doesn't want to come right out and say as much. Again, that's fine, chalk it up and move on... Not the first time I've been ghosted either, not gonna be the last either.
Then one evening I'm sitting at the bar where we ended that fateful night, scrolling through my messenger contacts, and I see that she's online. "Hah! What a debacle..." I chuckle to myself while I reminisce about the whole ordeal.
*Ding!*, new message! From Sally: "Hey, what's up?"
...uh. What? I reply saying that I was just hanging out having a couple weekend beers. "Okay cool, I've just had a couple drinks at home and was thinking about heading out! Can I meet up with you there?" ...
what?So I fire back a text saying "I've honestly got half a mind to just blow you off considering how I've been treated, but I'm a gullible enough fellow to believe that you haven't just scrolled your way down the list until hitting my name, so sure... I'm at [Bar2]".
She shows up, we exchange a couple pleasantries, and then she slaps me with "So what did you mean by that message?"
Me: "Well, think about it... Our last meeting didn't exactly end on a high note, but you said you really wanted to grab a coffee sometime and make things up. I let you know when I was available for that, and then I don't hear anything from you for two weeks. What exactly am I supposed to think?"
Her: "Wh- no, oh no... You're seriously overthinking this- I mean,
really overthinking this. Is that a problem you have? Do you overthink things a lot? Is that why you've had trouble with women in the past, because you overthink things too much?"
...what the
actual.Somehow, the conversation didn't just immediately end after that whopper. Shit, I even go so far as to recommend that we start from scratch, clean slate and all that. She begrudgingly agrees, we shake hands and introduce ourselves again, and she immediately heads off to the bar and finds a group of three strapping young lads that we're now apparently going to sit with.
Hilariously though, two of the three lads were gay, and as such were
far more interested in talking with me than with her. The look on her face was absolutely priceless...
With that not having worked out as planned, she dragged the one straight guy along and we both bought her drinks because she was "Running kind of low on money at the moment". The night carries on, she sits us with another group of men, and then in a quiet and boozy moment she leans over to me and says "You know, you're an open and honest person, and I really appreciate that, so I feel I need to be open and honest too, and I hope you can appreciate that I'm being open and honest about this because it's good to be open and honest..."
Okay, hell of a lead-in there, Sally... Hit me with it.
"...so I just need to tell you that I've been dating a guy. I hope you understand."
...well, uh, I do understand the general concept of that... But then
why the fuck are you here?At that point I've had just about enough so I finish up and leave, saying goodbye to her as I passed her while she was standing and talking to yet another group of men. Didn't hear much of anything from her aside from the occasional attention-seeking Facebook selfie, and decided to bring the saga to a close by unfriending her (I didn't feel like feeding her ego by being another one of the multi-thousand men on her friends list).
Or, well... I
thought I brought it to a close.
Last night I'd been out with my friends, then they had to catch the late bus home so they left and I resumed talking shit with the bartender. Chatted a little bit with a gal that was ordering drinks, we both thought the other looked familiar, and it's revealed that we have indeed met before (she's the girlfriend of the brother of a guy I know), so she invites me over to sit with her friends. We all chat a bit there, and then for some godsforsaken reason everyone decides to go to that horrid cramped sportspub where I first met Sally.
We're there for a bit, move over to a corner table, then I get bumped into from behind by the person sitting at the next table, and as I turn around for the ritual of mutually excusing each other, I recognize who it is. It's Sally. And she recognizes me, too.
"Did you remove me on Facebook?"
"Yep, I figured we really didn't have anything to do with each other"
And then the floodgates open... Oh, I'd ruined her night now, thanks for ruining her night. Why was I so obsessed with punishing her for having made one little mistake? Was I psychotic? Why was I so heartless that I couldn't even think of giving her a second chance?
Now I should also mention that I have, as a defense mechanism, a reasonably twisted sense of humor. You can either weep at the tragedy of life, or laugh at the absurdity of it. I aim towards the latter, so with her sitting there and hurling vitriol at me I just kinda had to start cracking up.
"And you're laughing at it! Oh my god, what is wrong with you? Are you manic? You're some kind of manic freak...
And you're still laughing! Why are you laughing?!"
So yeah, more of me being psychotic, socially retarded, manic, sadistic, emotionally abusive etc... There's a brief interlude where she asks if the people I'm sitting with are my friends, and I say that they're acquaintances. So she slings a lovely "You know, it says a lot about you that you're just out here, drinking, without any friends. And it also says a whole lot about you that you don't even have any friends here!" at me to really sweeten the deal.
I try ending the interaction a few times, but she clearly hasn't said her piece yet... I even physically just turned away from her at one point, but then she jabbed me in the back and picked up again with a continuation of where she left off, and why wasn't I letting her explain herself, and she was really sorry about what had happened before and why wasn't I letting her apologize, and I was being extremely cruel, etc. etc.
I told her to leave me alone. Repeatedly. Loudly. Eventually, finally, she trailed off after I tried ignoring her again. I saw her leaving shortly after. I had, after all, completely ruined her night!
So, yeah... For the most part, I was actually doing fairly well with just not taking to heart what she was saying. She was just some random crazy person, I could write her off.
But then a little while later another gal sat down at that table, and I recognized her too... Not nearly as juicy of a story, but still not a particularly pleasant one, and I started thinking that maybe I
am the asshole. So I decided to call it a night.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9792307 times)